Blue_Raven

I'm a queer individual, so ancient I might not even exist. Maybe I'm from one of the greek myths? Who knows.

Preferable pronouns are they/them, simply because I like to be mysterious.

I'm a Hellenic Polytheist. What does that mean? I talk to candles, and if they wave at me then I'm happy.

I'm from a Slavic country. Which one? You're free to guess, but if you'll get it wrong I will throw rotten eggs through your window.

If you see me reposting/liking something freaky...

...mind your business.

I will not tolerate any hate or discrimination of any kind on any of my accounts, so if you bring that here, respectfully, walk towards the light after a pan drops from the sky on your head. (I threw it.)

Avian stared at their nurse in complete disbelief, as if almost their heart shattered to million pieces. This wasn't real. It couldn't be. The medics...they said they'll find a way to make them walk again. That they'll be able to go back to fighting. To protecting people. ...to not being a burden.

"I'm sorry, Avian."

Rain hit the window with indifference, unaware of the tragedy happening inside. Avian's eyes drifted down to the floor, their mind swirling with so far the darkest thoughts they could come up with.

"I was planning to tell you during dinner but-"

"Leave."

Avian croaked out, their expression devoided of emotions.

"...let me help you up first-"

"No, Adeline. Leave."

Adeline only observed them for a second, trying to gauge out a glimpse of feelings, a shutter, a blink that would indicate what Avian was thinking.

"...please. I need some time to think."

But upon hearing Avian's pleading tone, her face softened.

"...of course. I understand. Call me if you'll need anything."

She turned on her heel and left the room, looking over her shoulder for just a split second before the door closed behind her back.

It was unknown for how many days Avian spent locked in their room. Barely eating, barely sleeping, not even with enough energy to keep crying. The only sounds that were coming from their room were cluttering, shattering, screaming and weeping for hours on end. No one dared to enter in those moments, knowing that grieving required solitude.

Each night, whenever Avian tried to rest, they got this reoccurring dream of an owl sitting on a tree as they walked through a forest, always observing, always judging. It was a constant reminder of their misery, a mockery of their current life that they wished to give up. It seemed strange. So distant and yet, in some way so familiar. As if they've met before. The dreams always ended once the owl flew away, seemingly finishing its assessment. However, after a while of weighing the costs, the owl waited for them in the distance, and each dream they managed to walk closer. There were no words spoken, but somehow... The owl emitted such strong overwordly energy, that Avian felt the need to watch their words as one night, they finally stood face to face.

"...who are you?"

Avian rasped out, their voice hoarse from all the days of screaming. The owl didn't respond, simply looking at them intently as if reading their own soul from particle to particle. It took just a split second for it to suddenly launch forward, beak first right through Avian's head, causing them to gasp and jolt awake. "Just what on earth was happening?" Avian thought as their head pounded from sudden pain in their frontal lobe, images flashing right before their eyes. All blurry, all more of a feeling, a memory rather than an actual idea.

Days went by, and not once they have seen the owl again, but now the same images kept reappearing before their eyes instead. They all looked related, not places, not faces... Things. ...objects. Tools. Each waking moment, more vivid.

Avian couldn't take it any longer. The itching, the curiosity and longing to understand what was the purpose of those mirages, planted in their mind like a parasite they couldn't get rid of. For the first time since the accident, they couldn't think of anything else but deciphering the meaning.

In the middle of the night, they stayed awake to try and draw whatever their mind tortured them about, slowly managing to put the visions together piece by piece. It took hours, exhaustion was the least of Avian's worries as they worked selflessly. Once the sketches came out remotely coherent, Avian stared at the smudges of coal on the paper, that they mustered in the heat of their obsession. Only then, it finally hit them.

"...prosthetics?"

They muttered under their nose, and for a split second, they could've swore they saw an owl fly by the window.

The clock ticked, scars and cuts quickly appeared on Avians hands as they diligently carved in dark wood, following the blue prints they've created, and soon, their calloused fingers sanded the rough edges of their build, doing the finishing touches. This was it. The answer to their long lived agony.

Prosthetic legs.

Avian sat on their bed, attaching the belts to whatever was left of their thighs so securely, that the leather material croaked under the pressure. Their lungs filled in through a deep breath, their heart pounding. From what? Excitement? Trepidation? ...hope?

One swift push. That was all it took, and after months of struggling, of both mental and physical torture, Avian stood up for the first time. It felt weird. To walk again. To feel like a person. First steps were hesitant, filled with fear of falling over, of feeling that helplessness of desperate need to prove themself. The moment Avian wobbled and tried to catch themself, their body gave out, used to being carried on wheels. Emotions prickled their eyes as they landed on the cold wooden floor of their bedroom. Just why? Why was it them out of all people? So furious, so pitiful... Was this the same person who used to save and lead others, as the one that children looked up to? Was this the cunning, witty and logical Avian everyone knew them as? Legless. Hopeless. Useless. So fucking useless!

"Avian."

A woman's voice cut through their mind like a knife through butter, completely emptying all other thoughts. It felt like a tunnel. Like the only thing they could hear and focus on. Avian's eyes darted around. Who was it? ...WHERE was it? A clutter thumped against the window and a sound of flapping wings caught their attention. A flicker of familiarity filled Avian's chest, and somehow, their hands reached for their bed to pull themself up on their fake feet. In desperate hurry, they surged through their room, almost tripping over themself as they pushed the door open. The hall was long, so damn long... It never occured to them just how big of a distance it was to get to the front door of their house, until they had to grab onto each wall and pray to not shatter the expensive vases on the way.

Rain soaked their thin clothes the second they escaped their confinement for the first time alone, in almost a year. It was cold. Wet. Puddles their biggest enemy that they couldn't seem to avoid. The prosthetic legs were merely a prototype, obviously they couldn't not have some downfalls to their design. But even as Avian fell into the water, their mind had only one thing to figure out.

Was this freedom?

Or was this purgatory?

"Avian."

That voice... That same voice from earlier. Avian raised their head, and their eyes instantly widened the second they focused on what they saw in the distance.

An owl.

Without thinking, Avian scrambled to their feet, immediately trying to run, only to fall over again. Their lungs burned, and their eyes blazed as their fist hit the ground with a frustrated growl.

"Slowly."

The owl said, and the rain stopped as if frozen. Slowly... Slowly.

Avian rose from the ground, first finding their balance, before taking the first step. The dirt under the wooden prosthetic felt harder, not as muddy and slippery as before. There was no other sound than slow steps, taken towards the wise animal after that. Little by little, step by step. Closer, and closer...and closer. Until an outstretched hand came to view. Avian looked up, only to be met with an imposing figure of a tall woman. Her hair wavy, eyes covered by a mask of bird eyes and her posture unwavering, visibly had encountered plenty of battles that Avian wouldn't even dream of. Their breath got lost in their throat as they seemed to lock eyes, and even without words...

Avian knew what she wanted.

They wobbled towards her until standing face to face, the woman towering over them in such glory, that it was hard not to stare in awe.

"Walk with me."

The deity mused, calm and collected, as if not aware of the pathetic display of a disability that's taken a toll on a warrior. Avian placed their hand in hers, and their muscles felt lighter. The ease of walking which they've been deprived of, suddenly came back. As they walked side by side, the woman didn't speak, nor did Avian. It seemed pointless. Actions spoke louder than any words they could both put together in that moment.

The walk seemed to stretch out for an hour, not at all a burden. Not any longer. Not with...

"You've made me proud."

Avian's eyes immediately shot up to look at the woman after her confession, yet she didn't meet their eyes, staring into the distance of a lake before she continued.

"Your strength. Your perseverance. It is a gift."

"...you're the one who gave me the idea."

"And you're the one who executed it."

Crickets sang their song as their eyes met for the first time in that hour spent together, and they both took a moment to breathe.

"You've doubted yourself for far too long. But know, that as tragic as this seems, it is an opportunity. A trial. One that you are more capable than any other of succeeding in."

She paused, searching Avian's face in silence.

"Do not fear mistakes. For as long as your heart beats, you have not failed. For as long as my eyes see, I won't be blinded by them upon your judgment."

Avian's breath shook as they inhaled, emotions threatening to spill through their eyes while their heart ached.

"You, Avian, are a warrior. And I, as the Goddess of wisdom, will stand by you, for as long as it'll take to make you remember who has designed you."

Athena raised her hand and placed it on their shoulder.

"Do not forget your name. As I have carved my own on your soul. Shall you fall, I will carry you home."

"You dare to defy me?! I am your FATHER, an elder you should look up to!" The man roared, rage scrunching his features into a disarray of disgust and discomfort from the sudden lack of control. "When I was your age, I was long married to your mother with a child on the way. You only sit here, leaching off of my gold, and you have the audacity to raise your voice at me?!" He slammed his fist on the table, rattling each and every item resting atop it. "Your mother would have been enraged just as much as me if she knew how little intellect you've inherited from her." His voice rumbled in his chest with pure resentment, that clearly has been boiling inside his heart for decades.

"She would've been enraged to know how her husband treats their only kin." Avian snarled, fed up from the years of abuse of their father's tyranny. "She WOULD'VE been, if not your pathetic attempts to gain a new heir. If not your nagging of needing another child, when she loved the first more than herself. When she loved YOU more than herself. Tell me..." Avian stood tall as they faced their father head on, not planning to back down from what possibly could be their last word they could utter. "Were you happy when you held her hand as she was dying on that bed? Ripped to shreds, stitched even though pointlessly as she already bled her heart out. You knew she couldn't bare it. You KNEW, the medics have told you! And the only thing you BEGGED Lady Hera for was to save that child, not even giving your WIFE a second glance. Look where it got you. No wife, and no child. Because Lady Hera would never grant such a blessing to a scumbag like you-" Before they could even finish, Avian's father struck them with a force so fierce, that they whipped around and fell onto their knees. Shock was not comparable to what Avian felt in that moment, but the time for feelings has passed as quickly as it began, when their father grabbed their hair and yanked it back to face them.

"You have lost your mind, you worthless brat!" He roared, with rage so intense that it could barely fit inside his body. "I have had enough of your parasitic attachment. May you realise your place once taught where it is, by one who won't see you as more than ashes to let the wind scatter." There was no time for reactions or words, not any longer when Avian got dragged outside the palace by their strained locks, knowing what their father's sentence meant.

Divine punishment.

As a group of men gathered at the steilhang of Mountain Olympus with Avian as their capture, the king stood upfront with the confidence that has brought him to his monarchy. "Panggratis! Erigdoupos! Ktesios! Divine father, god of thunder, lord of many!" He called out up into the sky, his arms outstretched upwards. "Grant me your presence, I pray at your altar!"

At first, only wind danced between their lashes, but soon enough the sky churned under a command. Clouds swallowed the blues, now engulfed in greys, and thunder rang like a distant melody. Avian's heart raced. This was it. As their eyes landed on the imposing figure of the thunder wielder himself, who's emerged like a golden trophy that shone amongst the pitiful bronze medals, they knew the clock began ticking down.

Zeus gazed down at the mortals, and it was so vile, that it spoke enough of his displeasure. "You have called upon me." His deep voice carried through the long distance with no resistance. "At the wrong time." He added, quieter this time, as if it was just to mumble under his nose. "So speak, quickly, and then return to your land. For this is my home you've invaded, under no invitation."

The king stared wide eyed at the God of thunder, for two different reasons. One, for the obvious shock of seeing his imposing figure in person. And two, for the god was...wearing a face mask? ...is that what he meant by calling him at the wrong time? "Ah, Lord Zeus-" He stuttered, baffled by the situation. "I have called upon you to ask for a favour. You see... My child has been defiant, at point of no return. And so I thought, as king and father, you must understand the significance of punishing such an incompetent kin. We both know that rules are to be followed, and if not, consequences are in order. Severe ones. And so, I come upon your door to ask-" A sound of a crunch interrupted the monologue, and the mortal king strained his eyes to observe the sky. While he was pouring his heart out, Zeus seemed to be munching on the cucumber slices that he had been using on his eyelids just before being summoned. Avian's father stared at him dumbfounded. Was this not a serious situation? Was his complaint invalid? "Ah, uhm..." He stuttered before clearing his throat to continue. "And so... I come upon your door to ask, grant me a divine intervention. I shall give you my spawn as an offering, and you shall do with them as you please." The tyrant bowed, presumingly to show his respect.

Zeus simply swallowed the cucumber while his brows were furrowed in thought. "You have summoned me to teach YOUR child a lesson? To take them from your hand with no guarantee of safety?" He asked with a hint of disappointment. "You call yourself a father? Defiant or not, tis your responsibility. Your heart and your soul in that vessel, that you so carelessly throw into the void just for a moment of solitude. Should you have thought sooner than bringing them here, and gifting them your left hand while they have their own." He grimaced as his eyes scanned the mortal man's face, clearly not pleased about the arrangement. "Take them away. And do not return, my favour is what you think too little of."

The tyrant king gritted his teeth. The rage that filled him teetered on the edge of his tongue as he yelled. "What is of divinity if not to bring justice?! You, who rule above us, don't know of orders?! A father is what I have been destined to be, to teach and shape of my own flesh and spill the blood if one disrespects it! And a father I am the better one! For at least I know how much my own skin I've ripped, to create another!" He snarled, the profanities of which none has ever dreamt of to speak out loud to the God of god's himself. "And my wife, she has granted my wishes, but yours in jealous rage has taken what's been gifted me! As you have treated her like less than a speck on your possessions! Grow an iron grip on those who you cherish, or they shall destroy you just like they've done so with me!"

Silence.

There was nothing, but silence.

"You speak of my wife, while yours is deceased?"

The mortal king trembled at the response. He has spoken out of turn, and now... Now it was too late. "No! N...no... Lord, FATHER! God Zeus..." He could only stumble over his words, thinking of a way out of his now open coffin. "I have spoken too harshly! Your wife... She has granted me my marriage and my first born! For that I am eternally grateful-"

"And what of me? What of my ignorance?"

The man swallowed harshly, his adam's apple bobbing under the pressure. "Tis only a jest, no truth in those words! I beg of you, Ypsizygos-"

"Use my epithets not, I shall grant one's favour."

Avian's father froze at the mention of the favour he has asked, what felt like millennia ago. Was this true? Would the God of the sky take away the pain that's been in his side ever since born, even after his fit of rage? "I... Lord Zeus, I am...eternally grateful." He bowed on his knees, lips almost reaching the ground. "I shall arrange offerings of your liking to rest at your altar in a moment's notice. I beg, forgive my transgressions."

"You shan't bother. There won't be time." With those words, thunder roared so loudly that all the men gathered fell to their knees, gasping for air as fear so deep filled their lungs, that nothing else could fit there. The mortal king looked up, and his face paled at the sight. Lord Zeus, holding a glowing orb of lightning stared down at them all, and suddenly, the man's existence felt miniscule.

"My Lord! Reconsider, I beg of you!" The mortal strained his chords to yell. "Or... Or take my men! Take my child, the lives of which not matter! Do not be blinded by my wrongdoings! I am a needed man! If you take my life, there won't be king!"

"You break your voice for no purpose." Zeus's voice silenced even the birds that escaped into the bushes, and his eyes glew golden. "Your mouth has spread filth in my own garden, and you yourself brought here a seed of your own making, as a weed of which I do not intend to nurture!" The skies darkened further, what seemed beyond possible. "You ask to take the thorn out your side, to find relief of the pain that you have caused yourself? I shall gift it." He raised his hand that held the void of thunder, with an expression deprived of remorse. "You dare to elate your title above me?! You dare to speak of destiny in your example?!" Zeus growled, and his voice merged with the wrath of his element. "You are a father not, for your eyes do not see your kin, but a lamb to be slaughtered. Hence, I remind you. I have brought plenty to rule above you, and you failed to nurture one that you claim to mould. Your own creation surpassed you, but do not cower." The lightning surged down, shaking the ground where the men kneeled, at the God's mercy. "Before, and after your passing...

I will always be King."

Upon a blink of an eye, and a strain of ears, "FATHER-" the last thing that Avian has heard was the agonisingly desperate screams of those who brought them here, calling out to Lord of the sky as their own creator. And then...

Silence.

There was nothing, but silence.

Avian opened their eyes, their whole body shaking and ribs as if broken under the sheer pressure of the fear filling their veins. Their head slowly rose to observe. Is this the Underworld? The fate of a soul taken by force with no place to rest?

"Little lamb."

A deep voice took a hold of Avian's mind, and their shaking body faced the giant man who now leaned against the very earth he destroyed. There was nothing left of anyone. Of anything. Just an empty crater which reached everywhere, but Avian. As Avian's eyes locked with Zeus's, their breath got stuck mid way in their throat. He was so close, so imposing, and yet... So calm. The God stared down at the mortal, his earlier wrath now gone, and replaced by a look of expectation. "Do not fret." He spoke, his chords smoothing out into a comforting rumble. "You've done no wrong." His giant hand reached out to place a single finger atop Avian's head, and he caressed it with gentleness that defied reason. "You shan't ever be a sacrifice. I'll make sure of it."