phyllis is a gay

A confession must I make. Up to this point, I confess, for the sensibilities of landsmen I elided mentions of certain practices at sea that I thought may be too shocking for the reader to bear. What, what! asketh thou. What, more shocking than the processing of a whale? Than the feasts of sharks, in their hilarious congregations? Than the oaths and devilries that occur? And I say to thee: yes, yes to all. Certain practices did not bear mentioning. But the weight of the omission lies too heavy on my soul, and so to relieve myself of such a weight, I beg forgiveness, and I shall explain such practices now.

The sodomical acts can be defined, broadly, as the wasting of one’s most vital essence, that which God hath commanded us to people the earth with. I have henceforth expressed the ways in which a ship may be blasphemous, and indeed, this is yet another manner. But yet, I say, are whaling voyages not uncommonly long? Longer, much, than the work in the merchant marines, longer than the skirmishes the navy may face. And I say, are whalemen (of all men) not the most conscious and heedful of sperm, and the value therein? And are not whaleships oft populated by men of pagan lands, unfamiliar with such Christian concerns? When a whaleman engages in the sodomical acts, he is aware of what he is offending, and what he gains by it, and the Christian whaleman is aware of what his spends, and how, despite such a wasting, God knows him in his heart of hearts, and recognizes the worship of the soul within. Therefore you must agree that the whaleman has taken all these into consideration, and, knowing himself, considers the actions worth doing, knowing God may forgive him all his sins in the light of his love and truth, as his son who died for us and to save our souls looked upon every sin that we may commit and washed us clean of all of them with his blood.

Having said this much, I shall argue no more for or against sodomical acts, and instead attempt to set forth a system of organization. I divide these acts into three types:

First. The wasting of vital essence on animals. This is the least occurring, and in fact in my time I have known not one person to have done such a thing. Whalemen are still men, despite what the world at large may think of our breed, and we are a proud class of men indeed. We do not fall to the bestial. On this first type, I shall say no more.

Second. The wasting of vital essence on nothing at all. This is the most common type of sodomy you will find on a whaling voyage, and if you examine indeed landsmen as well, you will find it is the most common among them. It is common enough, indeed, to have its own particular word: that of Onanism, after the first man to waste his seed upon the ground. More discussion of this is to be had, and I will explain it in greater depth in its respective section.