van chapman grew up eating hard tack and salt beef. she married a chef. her family is cursed to die young at sea. she grew old with someone she loved and opened a pub. she wanted to send him home to protect him. he wants to stay and make her tacos.

cloudward, ho! has really driven home to me that steampunk is good when people remember the punk part of it. because it’s written by brennan there are anticapitalist and anti-establishment themes. the characters are almost all old and/or disabled. olethra being trans is never brought up except to aggressively support her. the characters with generational wealth either own a pub or fund whimsical adventures. everyone cares deeply about each other.

brennan is clearly getting desperate for them to start thinking through the time dilation implications, he’s like yes this explorer was from THOUSANDS of years ago and the legio rex are from an ANCIENT CIVILISATION and goldbeard looks WEIRDLY GOOD

Hello 👋 this is Montgomery lamontgommery 🌲🍀adventurer🐻🐗 of 😷🤕😷🤧 gath 🥴🫠😶‍🌫️ I’m stranded 🧶🪢 here at [coordinates] 😮‍💨😓 this message 💌 is for comfrey macleod ☁️ IM 😰😥🫣 SCARED😰🤢😨😵‍💫 IM 😫🥺😭SO 😵🤧🫠SCARED 😱🫢🫨🤢😭🥺 I- I- I found your power ⚡️💡🌩️ station 🔋⚡️💡🚎🛰️🚙 at Ramansuuuuuuuu😭🥺😫😖😭🥺😰😥😭😫🥺 And I- I saw that “Montgomery 🐻🌲🏕️knows the way 🛣️🚦🚸🚏🚐🚴” I’m Montgomery🐻🦖🌸🦋🐐, but I cannot 🛑✋👎🚫⛔️find the way 😭🥺😫😰😖😥👎🚙🛣️😫 I’m on your old 👵📜🏚️ ship 🗝️🚢🛶🛳️⛵️ with a weak crew 👊🦾✨🐀🔫 they were the weakest😪🤧😷🤕😴 people I could find 😭😖😫 there’s one named Maxwell 🤵‍♂️🥸🕺gotch 👊💰🤑with the tiniest fists😈🤏👊🤜 😇OW 😖😫🤕sorry 🥺😭I’ve been bitten 🦷😬by a crab 🦀🐚🦞I have to pee💦😭🥺😫, I haven’t eaten🍔🍖🦀 comfrey ☁️🌦️🫵find me 😫😭🥺😖I have to peeeeeeeee 💦😫🥺💦🫛🫣😔I have to peeeeeeeee 😭😰😥😖😫🤢🫛💦🌊💧

sports bra and boxers can be lingerie if you're enlightened and impure of heart

very big fan of when shows put wigs on actors and say ‘yeah. That’s him when he was younger fuck you’. No anti aging ai, no teen actor hired. Just. The same guy with a fuckass wig

i think if you have a crush on someone that isnt into you the same way you should be able to throw up horrible black goo for about 10 minutes to make the crush go away

We really feeling this one huh

a genie grants you the ability to control one element completely and without fail. You’re not the first person to be offered this deal. You are the first to choose the element of surprise.

"You're too late to stop me Hero. All of the funds that I've stolen and embezzled have already been distributed to major charity networks all across the globe. The largest Diamond in the world? Already liquidated to help children with Cancer." The villain coughed, bloodied by the Hero's hands.

You're a dragon, but instead of gold, you hoard knowledge and the brilliant minds who create it. A knight in shining armor finally tracks you down, not to rescue a princess, but to ask if you're hiring a research assistant.

You are a princess. Your evil witch stepmother turns you into a swan. Instead of running away to mope around in a lake and be beautifully tragic, you decide to stick around the palace and cause problems on purpose.