I can be your Ellen the generous 😇.. or your Ellen degenerate 😈

you put them in the wrong order

im going to rearrange your cellular state to that of a fucking cabbage you insect

MAN [IN THICK ACCENT]: Black cat bring good luck.  Not bad luck.  I have black cat - See, him face - And I am not dead today: Good luck!

Out of Touch Thursday

OUT OF TOUCH THURSDAY

but im out of my head when you’re not around…

I love how ads about the military always involve some iteration of “they fight to keep us safe” cuz I truly cannot CANNOT believe that works. It still works! We believe that! We believe that the military is actively “protecting” us from harm. But harm from what?? You’re sitting on the couch watching tv waiting for a seamless delivery. There is no immediate threat to your person — at least not one at the direct hands of these evil forces the military claims to be fighting. The only people actually living under constant, violent bodily threat are the civilians of the middle eastern countries the US occupies. Yet the primary reason for this threat is due, in large part, to American occupation itself. The American military fights for oil, for money, for power, to maintain power. It DOES NOT fight to protect fucking anyone. Literally anyone! Every time I see someone say “thank you for fighting to keep us safe” to a vet or whatever I want to throw up