I guess... Hi?

I keep asking this question multiple times, almost everyday. There's one time I felt fulfilled and enlightened, but then my parents suddenly told me to remember that they are struggling and wanting me to go back "home" to have the empathy (that they didn't have the life I was having that time). I was confused then I decided to be happy when they are happy. So I put themselves first as my priority. I kept doing it over and over until I realized that I want to reach my own happiness too.. but everytime when I want to experience new thing, my parents always mock me because it's stupid for them (waste of money). They always say, "You haven't made us happy, or accomplished something that make us happy. So why do you want to do stuff by your own? Family comes first no matter what, and that's your happiness." I agreed and also disagreed with that statement though.. I've always wanted to follow my dreams and to create my own life timeline. But my parents always say, "You may have dreams, but it doesn't mean you can make them come true. Put your family first".

One day I tried to talk with my parents about the issues I'm dealing with but instead of being supportive, they frankly told me that they couldn't accept failures. My failures.