Ana's madness

Girl who cares so much it makes her sick: whatever I don’t even care

tumblr is so intimate like… i do not act like this around people i know…

The kid you loved wasn’t the man he became. You’re allowed to mourn the memory of your childhood you just lost even if you disapprove of the adult it made reality.

We were supposed to be mourning our 1D boys in our 80s. Not now. I’m speechless.

It's really really hard to go about your life after this . What makes it harder is how my life is physically not at all affected by him being gone. It's so difficult to digest that. He wasn't part of my life physically. None of my friends feel things like I do because he wasn't part of their lives at all. That's the reason i keep coming back. To the people who lost him like I did. Tumblr has always been a safe place. But now in times like this, it's a whole another level of a comfort. A hug, that's what it's like being here. Like we're all in a virtual room, all saddened and all missing him. I'm thankful for this place.

i have no idea how to process this. it’s not unfathomable and it’s something i’ve thought about many times but i don’t actually know how to process it. what do you mean he was such an integral part of me growing up and he did some fucked up things in part bc of the fucked up environment he grew up in and now he’s DEAD and can’t do anything to try and make amends. what do u mean the boys now means harry louis liam niall zayn. what do you mean he left behind a child less than 10 years old. what the fuck do you mean

i think part of it is just that i didn’t know him. he was in my phone and in my laptop singing in my ears for a decade but i didn’t know him. i never met him. i never spoke to him. how the hell am i supposed to grieve for someone so intangible when he will continue to be in my phone and in my laptop and continue to sing in my ears.

official boob post

something so beyond cruel and devastating that liam wanted that reunion more than anyone and the thing that brings them all back on that one direction account is his death i really really cannot wrap my head around this

I hope they all find peace in their time together and their time apart. I hope they remember all the good from that time in their life - traveling the world, living out your dreams, performing on stage with your best friends and never if rarely harp on the bad. I hope they all grow old and gray and never feel guilty about it. I hope they know that some are dealt a harder hand in life and death is the one thing in this world you cannot run away from. And the one thing you can do in the aftermath of death and loss is just live life to the fullest - with no regrets. You’re only given one.