There’s something that has been bothering me in the bujo community and it has more to do with the way people address things, rather than with the fact that they do. I am an extremely busy, exhausted, multitasking student and activist with an anxiety disorder that has only just started to not dominate my life completely. My anxiety has made me believe that if a single hour goes unproductive it is wasted and I should feel bad. I have given myself a total of 4 days of break during the holidays and I kept shaming myself for not passing my free time “productively” during them.
Given that, I understand and RELATE with the argument that yes, of course spending much time to make your bullet journal look pretty might not always help increase your productivity. Discipline is what will make you more productive, not aesthetic.
Now don’t get me wrong, I absolutely agree that no one should be pressured into thinking that the bujo they’ve started for themselves and them only should respond to any kind of perfection - and budget because oh my god are most stationery used unaffordable af - standards, and this should never apply any pressure to people in the community. I am all for better representation and diversity in bujo styles without having to compete to what is considered to be perfection by the majoroty, esp bc you bujo FOR YOU.
The issue is that most posts I’ve seen against aesthetic perfection have been shaming in their phrasing a drive for aesthetics that might feel like a stress relief activity for many of us. Let me elaborate.
As I mentioned before, I have bad anxiety and self esteem issues, and I’ve mercilessly pushed myself to burnout before. Let me clear something up: burnout SUCKS so don’t romanticize it, ever. It makes you incapable of ever enjoying what you do for months afterwards. You feel like there’s no choice but quitting. Given all that, when I first started spending 4 and 5 blissful consecutive hours on my bujo as the self care i had sorely needed for months, I naturally also started shaming myself and feeling extremely guilty for not doing something actually PRODUCTIVE. Because yeah, let’s face it, sticking images from my tumblr for a couple of hours isnt what my thesis supervisor would have considered as productive. The thing is, I needed that desperately. Bujoing, to this day, helps me so much to cope with my mental illness and gives me IMMENSE happiness, so much that I often feel I dont deserve it. Posts that are reminding me i’m not being productive enough for once again are doing nothing to help with my guilt and self-beating-up.
If bujoing isnt working in terms of productivity for a person, sooner or later they’ll find out and stop doing it themselves. Please dont belittle and shame people’s creative outlet for their stress, emotion and art by saying that “let me break it to y'all what u need is discipline” because most of our studyblrs are already run by perfectionist overachiever students as young as 14 who may forget to take care of themselves and may already push themselves too hard. Also,discipline is an ableist concept that certainly cannot be demanded from a person with adhd, anxiety, depression etc. so please consider. You cant ask me to live with discipline when sometimes its hard to even get out of bed or when Im already working myself sick bc otherwise i feel unworth of appreciation and love.
Thank you for reading!
ellievsbear
prguitarman
gummygunk
2087
turnnoffyourmind
