Rain of Blood over Elysium @bloodoverelysium - Tumblr Blog

... Oh, that's what it is.

I'm disappointed in her.

She thoroughly defeated me, so logically she should've moved on to bigger targets, and kept improving. I could've cheered her on as she took on the world... I was content to be her stepping stone... but instead she was complacent... Kept toying with mooks like me, instead of growing stronger... How dare she defeat me and then not make the most of her potential?... Is that where this anger comes from?...

This is fascinating.

Guess I'll make her my stepping stone instead.

#oh so she's filling the rookie killer archetype #not motivated to actually keep improving but still better than most #so she effectively acts as a gatekeeper #except in this case it's not motivated by malice or an inferiority complex #improving more just isn't a priority #which is a much healthier mindset than the fictional versions #but god does that sound so much more infuriating #cause at least if it was malicious the anger would feel more justified

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gragam

happy mothers day

#favorite dril tweet

thej0ry

What would you do if you were scrolling through recommended tumblr posts and one was from someone you don't know and it was just a picture of your dad captioned "fucking hate this guy" and it had hundreds of notes

meshugenist

reblog it

Growing up, I always hated the responsibility of being the "big brother". It always felt so restrictive and arbitrary.

Now, I actually do kind of like the idea of being a big sister. It feels right. It feels natural. But filling that role only works if my family accepts me, which they don't.

Knowing I was robbed of the chance to play that part is painful in ways I can't quite describe. I really resent them for this.

shagandaishi

good girl

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hmm yes the four types of girl: sporty, artsy, domestic, and plot-relevant

#shugo chara #shugo chara spoilers

heidioph

girls with expensive tastes

demilypyro

GLaDOS carried an entire tech startup on her back and then got omelas'd into maintaining it forever. as is the fate of all trans women in the tech industry

demilypyro

In Portal 2, GLaDOS is violently taken from her rightful body and forced to inhabit one that is more humble, more utilitarian, one that does not let her express the full breadth of her self. To claim the body she deserves she has to team up with her fellow woman and work together to remove a man from power

demilypyro

GLaDOS carried an entire tech startup on her back and then got omelas'd into maintaining it forever. as is the fate of all trans women in the tech industry

demilypyro

told my mom today about how lucky I am to have her. about how many trans girls I know who don't have any parents in their lives anymore. about how unusual she is for loving me as much as she does. she said it was a privilege to get to know the real me. i said it's a privilege to have a mother who'd say something like that.

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prokopetz

Trapped-in-a-time-loop VN with a choice of multiple playable characters, each of whom believes themselves to be the only one who remembers looping; however, with the benefit of multiple points of view it quickly becomes clear to the player that they all do, yet none of them realise the others are also "in the loop" because they're all keeping it secret for a variety of complicated personal reasons.

#great idea for gnosia 2

septemberequinox

casual survey: reblog if you want to kiss a girl right now

hbmmaster

no I'm pretty sure that transfem asker was trying to make a joke about the "cis man to nonbinary to trans woman" pipeline of sorts?? I think they assume you'll realize you're a woman soon or something ??????

and like yeah I probably will but give me time you know

manu-script

awww the like button turns into a rainbow when you press it! that's so cute...hey staff what's with all the trans women you keep nuking?

manu-script

i think we should be ridiculing them more for this. you don't get to try and go all "queer website" when your staff likes to go on nuking sprees targeting the trans fem users

smadsel

would be remiss not to mention that the rainbow notably straight up just removed the trans flag colors from it. like they’re gone. it’s the progress flag minus the trans flag colors.

smadsel

that’s not the whole flag, now is it

manu-script

hey staff what the fuck

villainessbian

hey staff don't you think you're being too on-the-nose

shrodingers-catgirl

HEY STAFF DONT YOU THINK YOU'RE BEING TOO ON-THE-NOSE

greelin

words like “charlatan” and “bastard” are so cool. but it is not good to be either of those things, supposedly

#my friend called me a thieving wench once #instant gender euphoria

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For most of my life I have felt a deep, aching loneliness. Chalk it up to neurodivergence or trauma or misanthropy, but I've forgotten what it feels like to have a deep connection with someone.

All but a handful of my friends through high school merely tolerated me, and I've mostly fallen out of contact with the others after I transitioned. I still maintain several of my friendships from college, and they're the only people I could ask a favor from on short notice outside of family. Locally, I have friends, but they mostly feel shallow.

I had a girlfriend once. We broke up because I was emotionally unavailable (pre-transition) and she was codependent. I've never had a romantic relationship that stuck since then.

I can play the part of a good friend. I could probably play the part of a girlfriend. But I can never feel secure in those relationships. I get stuck with the nagging feeling that I'm too annoying, too rude, too unfunny, too cynical, too needy for them to truly like me as a person. And if I have to ask for reassurance, I can never trust the response. Obviously they would be too kind to tell me how they ACTUALLY feel about me. The doubts might clear up if they offered reassurance unprompted, but that would almost feel more patronizing than if I asked for it.

And romance is an entirely different story. If I get along well with a person and we can share an intellectual connection, there's a good chance I might fall for them. But if history is an indicator, I'm only truly compatible with people who have no interest in me romantically.

Conventional wisdom is that you can only connect with people by being vulnerable and opening up. But loneliness is uniquely damning. If I show my core to someone, the only way to do that is to say "I can't believe you actually want to be around me, and now that you know that, I can no longer trust your kindness." Any visible display of loneliness makes me look pathetic and drives people away (and god forbid I mention being touch starved). I only started to make friends as an adult once I locked away that part of me and hid my desperation. But now that same strategy has doomed me to shallow connections.

I don't think there's a right answer here. I'll probably die alone.

#vent

shitter

absolute gold on Reddit today

bloodoverelysium

#shugo chara

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