āsee / spite is so much easier than love, heavy but I can hold it.ā
ā Jameson Fitzpatrick, from āResignationā
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āsee / spite is so much easier than love, heavy but I can hold it.ā
ā Jameson Fitzpatrick, from āResignationā

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Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina
banish the idea that platonic love is a lesser form of love
if you go through life not investing in your friendships the same way you invest in romantic relationships, you will always be looking for love, feeling lonely, completely blind to the love all around you
friendship is not a lower level relationship. it is not a lesser form of love.
But women have lust, too. Why should they be relegated to the position of custodian of emotions, watcher of the infants, feeder of soul, body and pride of man?
Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals

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āChildren of Shatilaā (Lebanon, 1998) film by Mai Masri. In this scene the youth of the Palestinian refugee camp interview an elder with a video camera.
āI hope one day we can forgive each other for not being what we wanted each other to be.ā
ā Kriti G.
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Tupac Shakur wearing a Rick James style wig, 1996 šø
~ Hortense Haudebourt-Lescot, Portrait of a lady in a wooded landscape (c.1820-1840) (detail)

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haha youāre a dork (i want to fuck you)
Lawrence Alma-Tadema - "A Foregone Conclusion" (1885)
Thomas Hardy, The Return of the Native
Let people grow.
When I was younger I was very right-wing. I meanā¦veryĀ right-wing. I wonāt go into detail, because Iām very deeply ashamed of it, but whatever youāre imagining, itās probably at least that bad. Iāve taken out a lot of pain on others; Iāve acted in ignorance and waved hate like a flag; Iāve said and did things that hurt a lot of people.
There are artefacts of my past selves online ā some of which Iāve locked down and keep around to remind me of my past sins, some of which Iāve scrubbed out, some of which are out of my grasp. If I were ever to become famous, people could find shit on me that would turn your stomach.
But thatās not me anymore. Iāve learned so much in the last ten years. Iāve become more open to seeing things through othersā eyes, and reforged my anger to turn on those who harm others rather than on those who simply want to exist. Iāve learned patience and compassion. Iāve learned how to recognise my privileges and listen to othersā perspectives. Iāve learned to stand up for others, how to hear, how to help, how to correct myself. And I learned some startling shit about myself along the way ā with all due irony, some of the things I used to lash out at others for are intrinsic parts of myself.
You wouldnāt know what I am now from what I was then. You wouldnāt know what I was then from what I am now.
It distresses me deeply to think of someone dredging up my dark, awful past and treating me as though that furiously hateful person is still me. It distresses me to see others dredging up the past for anyone who has made efforts to become a better person, out of some sick obsession with proving theyāreĀ āproblematic.ā
Purity culture tells you that once someone says or does something, they can never go back on it. Thatās a goddamn lie. While itās true that some remain unrepentant and never change their ways and continue to harm others, itās important to allow everyone the chance to learn from their mistakes. Saying something ignorant isnāt murder. Please stop treating it that way. Let people grow.
Still call it out and question it ā¦.
Bruh. No. Listen. Call out what people doĀ now,Ā absolutely. If they havenāt changed, call them out on their record. This post is explicitly not about people who HAVENāT changed. What this post IS saying is, if someone is making an effort to be a good person, donāt go digging around in their past for evidence that they were once for what theyāre now against, or once against what theyāre now for, asĀ āproofā of what theyĀ āreally think,ā because peopleās opinions and beliefs can change.Ā
The obsession with finding shit in someoneās past and then claiming that a questionable or even sordid past negates all possibility of a good present needs to become extinct. Gold-star activism and purity culture are bullshit and we need to collectively reject the fuck out of them.
If someone has changed for the better, donāt harass them about what they were like before they fuckinā changed. Thatās shitty and it needs to stop.
We canāt change the world if we decide people canāt change.
Gold-star activism and purity culture are bullshit and we need to collectively reject the fuck out of them.
We really need to start asking where this purity bullshit came from. Iām notĀ Christian and was not raised Christian but there has been a lot evidence that much of gold star activism and purity culture originated in of evangelical youth movements and then infiltrated progressive left-wing and center-left politics when those youth left their churches but failed to leave behind the black-n-white puritanicalĀ āyouāre going to hell if you stray one inch from the righteous pathā style of thinking they were taught.
I distinctly remember some conversations I had in the late 00s and very early 2010s with long time social justice activists who were baffled and disturbed by the new crop of youth activists who were practicing something that was decidedly NOT social justice despite stealing that phrase from us.
In the decade and a half that has passed since then, all of this gold-star activism and purity culture has done exactly what I predicted back then:Ā empowered the far-right while sowing division everywhere.
Folks. This shit needs to stop.
Instagram credit: coffeesoakedpages

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do u believe in men's rights by any chance? š“
menās right to shut upppppp
the slow casual creep of misogyny back into every point of our lives both digital and physical is making me feel fucking insane