unwavering vow

imagine you’re going to cracker barrel and you order a mac n cheese and it takes like 45 minutes which is way too long for a mac n cheese but you can see that they’re pretty busy and the waitress Sally is stressed enough as it is because when she took your order she seemed really troubled and you wonder if that’s just because its busy and so when she gets back you ask her what’s wrong and she says her son has been out sick from school today and she shows you a picture in her wallet and you see her drivers license and her full name is Sally Weanus so you ask her sons name and she says “that’s little Peanus” and you ask if you heard her correctly like is that really your son and she says “why yes, MY peanus weanus?”

My kink is being dumb as fuck and getting killed

i love female characters who SUCK. Like omg queen you suck so BAD 🤩🤩🤩 Youre a totally shitty person lol 🥰🥰🥰 never has anyone been so selfish and self centered 🤩🤩🤩 your morals are deeply warped and dude i mean it youre brain is SERIOUSLY fucked up 😘😘😘 let me spend every waking hour analyzing why you're so deeply disturbed 😄😄😄

"hogwash" still one of the best words ever. this shit is so unbelievable its pig water