i love garfield and gay sex

characters whose sexuality is "i'm under way too much stress to figure that shit out rn"

character whose gender is "im probably nonbinary but im on a quest so idrc about that rn"

"Why are my parents suddenly trying to be my friend now that I'm an adult??" Is crazymaking but putting together "oh, because children aren't seen as fully human so they're acceptable to abuse in a way that I'm not anymore. It was never actually about me as a person it was about children being property" may or may not feel Better. Makes sense though lol. Lmao. Everyone get more youthlib now

"what if they fucked" WRONG. what if they ruined each other's lives irreparably. what if there was nothing left but a smoldering heap. what if everything that brought them together twisted and corroded and ripped them apart. and then they fucked.

3. you can also pretend you’re a deep sea predator pretending to be aquatic plant life drifting in the currents to attract prey

Kids today need to learn how to pull the evil taffy.

4. Brush away the spiderwebs in the vast and mysterious crypt you're exploring

Forever haunted by the scene in the PHM book where the climatologist has to send nuclear bombs on Antarctica to give a few more years of sunlight to people and it goes against everything he is and stands for but it's the only thing he can do to help and when the nukes are launched and he says it's done, he starts sobbing like a child

imagine a park bench underneath

black with low white spotting

seal mink

I invented a new trend called “drink sleepy tea and go to bed”

It's just a fad, it'll pass.

Think again. China has been doing this trend I just invented for over 4,000 years.

they're called "bootlickers" because when there's a boot stomping on their neck they lean forward to kiss it

as soon as i clicked post i realized damn that's such an evocatively erotic description, i should be using this sort of language about noble kinksters, not wasting it on class traitors

that's the beta testing stage

i need to be cutesy dor school next year or i might not live any longer