bleached_muffin

Nightwing: [holds up a hand] WAIT!

Riddler: Did you just inter-

Nightwing: [not paying attention] wait, shhhhh...is that?

Riddler: ...[whispering] what?

Nightwing: [super excited] The ice cream van! Sorry, Nygma we have to cut this short. Let me just- [throws a batarang at the doom-machine of the day, destroying it] Ok, see you! [takes off]

Riddler: I- but- [weakly] wait...

-

Riddler: [burst out of an underground elevator] My my, Hood, looks like-

Red Hood: [shoots him in the leg]

Riddler: [yelps and collapses]

Red Hood: No, go on. Looks like...?

-

Riddler: One knows the past, the other-

Red Robin: [on his phone] lame

Riddler: the -the other... Would you pay ATTENTION?

Red Robin: WoUlD YOu PaY AttENtION

Riddler: Rude

Red Robin: [still on the phone] Hi, is this Del Taco? I'd like to make an order-

Riddler: Are you seriously calling for TAKE-OUT now?

Red Robin: [glares at him] it's Del Taco

Riddler: SO?

Red Robin: [dead serious] they have fr e sh avoca do.

Nightwing: [shouting from a nearby roof] WHY ARE YOU ON PATROL YOU'VE BEEN UP FOR 50 HOURS GO TO SLEEP

Red Robin: [whispers to Riddler] Ssshhh, he doesn't know I'm here.

-

Riddler: Looks like I have the upper hand-

Robin: [gaze fixed on Riddler's foot] You stepped on a beetle.

Riddler: -and Batman- wait what?

Robin: [stabs a katana through Riddler's other foot] SHE WAS AN INNOCENT

Riddler: WHY DO YOU PEOPLE ALWAYS GO FOR THE LEGS

-

Batman: Riddler. So you're behind this.

Riddler: [steps into the light] Yes! And now- you're at my mercy!

Batman: ...what are you planning? What could you possibly have to gain from this?

Riddler: Well, I got you here, didn't I? Which mean I can finally tell you tO GET YOUR FUCKING KIDS UNDER CONTROL THEY'RE MEAN AND VIOLENT AND THEY KEEP IGNORING ME HOW ARE YOU SO GOOD AT BEATING UP CRIMINALS AND SO USELESS AT TEACHING YOUR CHILDREN COMMON DECENCY?? I WORK HARD! [to his henchmen] DON'T I WORK HARD?? AND FOR WHAT??

Batman: ...