You'll never know who you'll run into next

I’ve been asked a lot about how I draw hoods, mostly Talon’s hood, so I hope this helps a little? Just a pretty basic thing but hey there ya go

Anonymous asked you:

Are you going to do a tutorial of your current coloring style by any chance ? I’m in love with it *w*

Hi anon!! I did this quickly in hopes it will prove useful! ;; i really want to be of help??;;;

Hi there! I would love to! I think I’ll start out with an example with filter words and then cut out the filter words to show you the difference.

For those of you who haven’t seen my post on Filter Words.

Now, for the example:

I felt a hand tap my shoulder as I realized I had made a huge mistake. I knew the consequences would be unsettling, but I had no other choice. I saw the light of my desk lamp bounce off of the officer’s badge before I had even turned around. It seemed like I always found my way into trouble.

It was the first thing off the top of my head, so it’s a bit rough sounding….

Now for without filter words (And a bit of revision):

A hand tapped my shoulder as it dawned on me: I had just made a huge mistake. The consequences would be unsettling if I didn’t get out of this mess, but I had no other choice. The light of my desk lamp bounced off of the officer’s badge. I always found my way into trouble.

By taking out filter words, you get right to the point.

I’d also like to add a few more notes that I didn’t have the chance to post previously.

Some Examples of Filtering:

I heard a noise in the hallway.

She felt embarrassed when she tripped.

I saw a light bouncing through the trees.

I tasted the sour tang of raspberries bursting on my tongue.

He smelled his teammate’s BO wafting through the locker room.

She remembered dancing at his wedding.

I think people should be kinder to one another.

How can you apply this?

Read your work to see how many of these filtering words you might be leaning on. Microsoft Word has a great Find and Highlight feature that I love to use when I’m editing. See how you can get rid of these filtering words and take your sentences to the next level by making stronger word choices. Take the above examples, and see how they can be reworked.

FILTERING EXAMPLE: I heard a noise in the hallway.

DESCRIBE THE SOUND: Heels tapped a staccato rhythm in the hallway.

FILTERING EXAMPLE: She felt embarrassed after she tripped.

DESCRIBE WHAT THE FEELING LOOKS LIKE: Her cheeks flushed and her shoulders hunched after she tripped.

FILTERING EXAMPLE: I saw a light bouncing through the trees.

DESCRIBE THE SIGHT: A light bounced through the trees.

FILTERING EXAMPLE: I tasted the sour tang of raspberries bursting on my tongue.

DESCRIBE THE TASTE: The sour tang of raspberries burst on my tongue.

FILTERING EXAMPLE: He smelled his teammate’s BO wafting through the locker room.

DESCRIBE THE SMELL: His teammate’s BO wafted through the locker room.

FILTERING EXAMPLE: She remembered dancing at his wedding.

DESCRIBE THE MEMORY: She had danced at his wedding.

FILTERING EXAMPLE: I think people should be kinder to one another.

DESCRIBE THE THOUGHT: People should be kinder to one another.

See what a difference it makes when you get rid of the filter? It’s simply not necessary to use them. By ditching them, you avoid “telling,” your voice is more active, and your pacing is helped along.

The above list is not comprehensive as there are many examples of filtering words. The idea is to be aware of the concept so that you can recognize instances of it happening in your work. Be aware of where you want to place the energy and power in your sentences. Let your observations flow through your characters with immediacy.

Ok, sorry for the lengthy answer, I know you just wanted an example…. sorry!

1. Set a monthly target.

How much do you want to earn in a month? Lets say you want to earn £400. Base this on your bills and living expenses, things you’re saving up for, etc.

That means each week you want to earn roughly £100.

(monthly target) / (four weeks) = [Weekly Target] £400 / 4 = £100

2. Determine how much time you are going to devote to commissions per week

For this example, lets go with 20 hours!

Also you’ll want to figure out how many hours per day that is so you don’t overwork yourself. There are 5 working days in a week, so thats four hours per day.

You don’t have to follow this exactly, but it’s good to know so you know when to stop and call it a day.

I suggest between 18-30 hours a week, and no more than 40.

(hours per week) / (5 days) = [Daily Hours] 20hrs / 5 = 4hrs

3. Calculate your hourly rate

To earn £100 in 20 hours, you need to earn £5 an hour.

NOTE: the numbers chosen are for the sake of an example, you should not be working below the minimum wage.

(weekly rate) / (number of hours) = [Hourly Rate] £100 / 20hrs = £5

4. Calculate how long you spend working on a piece.

this includes time spent researching, anything like getting used to a character’s design to finding references is labour that the commissioner is paying for, not just the final piece!

If you’re a digital artist, you can use Cash Clock to help with this!

it will track how long you are focused on windows you choose, and stop counting if you’re idle for a set amount of time. It’ll also do the next step for you. [http://www.online-stopwatch.com/download-stopwatch/]

for this example lets say you spent roughly two hours researching, doing practice sketches, etc., and then 6 hours on the final piece.

5. Calculate your price quote

(hourly rate) x (time spent) = [price per commission] (monthly target) / (price per commission) = [number of commissions]

for our example this is £5 x 8 hours = £40 per commission. to reach the goal of £400 a month thats 10 commissions a month.

Do this for each type of commission you offer! Lets say a sketch takes you 2 hours of research + 3 hours of drawing. That’s £25 a piece (16 sketches)

Tips:

- when you finish timing yourself working, add on an extra hour so you have some buffer time to polish and fix things. You’re likely to be spending longer on your paid work, so account for that!

- You ever notice how your first few doodles aren’t as good as what you draw after you’ve scrapped a few?

Keep that momentum, when you’ve finished sketching a piece, even if it’s not a sketch commission stop and continue on to sketch a different commission.

When you’ve finished sketching, do this again with the next stage in your process like flats or inking.

This is a more cost effective way of working - working in batches like this is commonly used in comics to maintain consistency between pages!

- don’t be afraid to ask for tips! 

How to Make Your Art Look Nice: Lighting

Think your drawings are lacking that extra “oomph”? Maybe adding a little bit of lighting can help!

_________

The “How to Make Your Art Look Nice” Series

As promised, here is a very brief overview of transparency art! Thank you all for your interest! Note: the images are transparent too!

Below the cut I included a sort of walkthrough of one of my transparency pieces!

Firstly, thank you for your interest! I will give a walkthrough of this piece here!

As a short disclaimers, I just want to say that this is my way of doing it, and there are many other ways different artists may make works as well, and all ways are correct! I’m just showing you how I do it!

Secondly, I’m specifically talking about photoshop CC, which is the program I am using. The concept itself is the same, but how to implement these features may vary program to program. 

Lastly, I still consider myself sort of a beginner, as I have not done transparency arts for that long, and I still have a lot to learn, so take these tips and walkthrough with a pinch of salt!

When deciding what to make, I wanted to go with the concept of a background inside someone, and the idea of the ocean and Lance hearing it through a shell kind of came to me. 

I first started with the lineart of Lance! It was initially drawn on white:

Then, I made a pure black background layer on top of the white background layer. That would be to see the white! Following that, I solid colored lance with pure white. It’s helpful to make the background color semi transparent so you can see both the black lineart and white. 

The use of layer masks was key to making these kinds of transparency works. They allow shades from black to white to be drawn ‘normally’ on the mask and translate them into levels of opacity! 

In this image, for demonstration, I made a bunch of rectangles on a mask layer over the plain white layer. The rectangles were drawn with different shades, but because they were on a layer mask, that translated those shades to opacities. White = completely solid Black = completely transparent

Using layer mask, I made the gradient for the ocean. 

The next was drawing the ocean and sky. I made these with pure white at different opacities. I tended to alter the opacity of the brush a lot to achieve the different variations of white. These were done on many white layers on top of one another.

I continued doing this and layering whites on top of one another until it resembled an ocean, then went back to the original white layer and added shadows using layer masks again! I repeated switching between layer masks and drawing on top with white these until they look satisfactory! 

I also used the voltron symbol and colored it pure white and added it in! Along with stars and other sources of light! I used a blurry brush with a low opacity for the ‘glow’ around the clouds and the icon!

Lastly, I opened Lance’s eyes! They were ‘drawn’ just by erasing the bottom white layer with the pencil tool I used for the lineart, but they could have also theoretically been done using layer masks too.

And he is done! 

Important: When saving the image, ensure you are saving it in a format that preserves opacity! For example, in photoshop I save it as a .png file! Make sure that you get rid of the background so you are left with nothing there! 

On photoshop it looks like this:

I hope this was helpful! Depending on the type of art, the techniques used in transparency works may vary! Sometimes I use mostly just solid erasing rather than layer masks, other times, like this, I use a lot of masks and layers. Often if you are doing works with gradients, varying levels of grey, shade and smaller details, masks are better, while for the type of “disappearing/changing” parts of linearts, erasing is better. This is only one way of doing it - the potential in this kind of art is endless!

I hope this reads okay, and if you have any other questions, you can always message me! If you got through this long walkthrough, thank you very much for reading!

FOOD

Find your nearest food bank or mission, for food

grocery stores with free samples, bakeries + stores with day-old bread

different fast food outlets have cheaper food and will generally let you hang out for a while.

some dollar stores carry food like cans of beans or fruit

SHELTER

Sleeping at beaches during the day is a good way to avoid suspicion and harassment

sleep with your bag strapped to you, so someone can’t steal it

Some churches offer short term residence

Find your nearest homeless shelter

Look for places that are open to the public

A large dumpster near a wall can often be moved so that flipping up the lids creates an angled shelter to stay dry

HYGIENE

A membership to the YMCA is usually only 10$, which has a shower, and sometimes laundry machines and lockers.

Public libraries have bathrooms you can use

Dollar stores carry low-end soaps and deodorant etc.

Wet wipes are all purpose and a life saver

Local beaches, go for a quick swim

Some truck stops have showers you can pay for

Staying clean is the best way to prevent disease, and potentially get a job to get back on your feet

Pack 7 pairs of socks/undies, 2 outfits, and one hooded rain jacket

OTHER

first aid kit

 sunscreen

 a travel alarm clock or watch

 mylar emergency blanket

 a backpack is a must

 downgrade your cellphone to a pay as you go with top-up cards

 sleeping bag

 travel kit of toothbrush, hair brush/comb, mirror

 swiss army knife

Take care of your feet - if you can’t walk, you stand a very real chance of dying. That’s not an exaggeration, take care of your feet.

Keep them dry, and if you can manage it try to change your socks daily - I had three pairs I would wash - more or less - and hang to dry so that I always had a dry pair to replace the ones I had on if they got wet.

Even a cheap plastic water bottle is a water bottle, fill it from public fountains and stay hydrated. If you can carry two and have room, keep one in your bag.

Your bag is your life. Do not put it down. I used to sleep with it on my front, it helped a little in terms of staying warm. DO NOT PUT IT DOWN.

Newspapers torn up and stuffed into your jacket can help you stay warm. Layers are your best defense, you don’t want to sweat because that will compromise your ability to stay warm and dry. If you get overheated you can peel off a layer and put it in your bag.

DONT overburden yourself. A heavy bag full of stuff might make you feel more prepared but it will also wear you out, trying to haul everything around. Pack smart, pack light.

Ziplock bags get thrown out all the time, grab them. You can pack anything you don’t want to get wet in them, and you can also suck the air out of them and seal them so they take up less space. You can stretch your food and store dry goods, GRAB the ZIPLOCK BAGS. My boots got soaked once and I even used ziplock bags to keep my feet dry while wearing them.

Learn to build shelter; this is a skill I personally think everyone should learn Just In Case, because dumpsters are great but they’re also dumpsters. You don’t want to sleep behind one unless you really, really have to.

Adulting 101: The post that started it all! Discount cards, xmas lights, and general food advice.

Adulting 102: Cacti, electric bills, and some inexpensive cleaning advice.

Adulting 103: Peeing after sex, chalkboard paint, and why you need scented trash bags in your life.

Adulting 104: Electric bill budgets, lint drawers, and why mixed greens are more trouble than they’re worth.

Adulting 105: Paper bills, Yankee Candles, and where to purchase postage stamps.

Adulting 106: Scented tampons, dishwasher pods, and why you should live next to a fire department.

Adulting 107: Command hooks, inexpensive bathroom decor, and why organic cucumbers are overrated. 

Adulting 108: An Adulting post dedicated entirely to apartment hunting!

Adulting 109: Cleaning your shower head, condiments, and why you should never buy Dollar Store paper towels.

even if you get along great with your family you will get along even better with them after moving out 

generic is almost always just as good as name brand. But there are some things you never buy generic, including: peanut butter, ketchup, liquid NyQuil, Chips-Ahoy chewy chocolate chip cookies

just imagine the person on the other end of the phone hates talking on the phone as much as you do. Even a receptionist. I worked as one and I hate talking on the phone

at least once in your life you will go to Wal-mart to buy something under $20 like an ironing board or something and your debit card will get rejected. No one will judge. Everyone at some point in their lives has had $2.98 in their bank account. 

thrift stores

everyone else is too busy panicking about everyone else noticing every tiny thing that could possibly be wrong about them to notice any tiny thing that could possibly be wrong about you

you will screw up. a lot. you live and you learn. and when you start to think too hard about that embarrassing thing that happened and how you wish you could change it, just tell yourself that what’s done is done. There’s no changing it, so just forget it and move on. It’s the only way to stay sane.

do the dishes before the sink grows its own ecosystem

you can’t put Dawn dishsoap in the dishwasher. 

if you are the only one in the aisle at the grocery store, and you need to get from one end to the other without even looking at anything in that aisle, then you should totally cart-surf down the aisle. Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional. Hold on to the little things. They make all the difference.

never try to make cake from scratch at 3am. You end up with a topographical map of Middle Earth.

15% tip. 

the best way to get money for food is to tell your grandparents about how you basically live on microwaved mac and cheese. Their horror may result in twenty bucks and orders to go out and get yourself “a real dinner”.

sometimes life sucks, and knowing that it might get better doesn’t always make it suck any less, but you’ll never get to the non-sucky days without enduring the suckiness. 

no seriously, NEVER put Dawn in your dishwasher

Always check the type of light bulb that goes in lamps. A 60w is not interchangeable with a 40w.

Rice, pasta, flour, sugar, cheese, eggs, milk, a pack of chicken, a pack of frozen veggies and a well stocked spice cabinet go a long way food-wise. Splurge and get the biggest container of rice you can. You don’t have to go back and buy it again anytime soon and it makes a TON of meals in the meantime.

Rice can be cooked on the stove. You don’t need a fancy rice cooker. Two parts water to every one part rice (two cups water for one cup of rice for example). Get your water boiling, add rice, put a plate or lid on it, put it on low for 20 minutes. It should be done.

Keep a calendar on your pc of bill due dates. If your bills are set up at inconvenient times, like all of the services started on the first or something, then call up the company and find out if you can get your billing date switched to something more manageable. A lot of places do try to work with you.

There is no shame in calling a company and asking for an extension on a bill. Let them know what you can pay, pay that amount, and they arrange when the rest of the payment is required. This can stop you from having services shut off man. It shows responsibility on your part.

Take time to eat, even when you don’t feel like eating. Your body needs energy to live.

Wash or rinse your dishes before putting them in the dishwasher. It prevents gross caked on junk.

“The Works” is an excellent cheap toilet cleaner.

MAGIC. FUCKING. ERASERS. THEY WORK ON EVERYTHING JUST DON’T SCRUB HARD. I took the ring out of our bathtub with one. Also generic ones work just as well.

Keep some bleach around but if you use it for cleaning? Dillute it. There’s rarely ever a case where you need to pout straight bleach on anything. A cap full or two in a bucket of water works just fine.

DO NOT MIX CLEANERS. Chemical reactions are can be very dangerous. Here’s a good list. (Note that vinegar and baking soda can actually be a good combo for removing smells from things but it’s not very good at actually -cleaning-.)

If you drink? Don’t take meds at the same time it’s just not good.

Make sure you check the dosages on your pill bottles. No one wants to accidentally overdose on cough syrup or ibuprofen.

If you have a uterus make sure you have a heating pad and ibuprofen on hand for the pain. Hot baths also generally help and Ginger Tea is excellent for any nausea.

Buy a first aid kit. It’s worth it in the long run.

You can often do your taxes online at places like TurboTax.

Here’s some good sex ed resources because I had to explain what a yeast infection was recently. 

Petroleum jelly (aka Vaseline) is good for chapped lips and you can get a decent sized tube or tub of it (generic brand version) for cheaper/same price as Chapstick.

KEEP TRIPLE ANTIBIOTIC OINTMENT IN YOUR HOUSE FOR CUTS AND SCRAPES AND SORES. 

~~Medications~~

Over the counter medications (stuff you can buy right off the shelf no prescription needed) have a name brand and a generic name. ALWAYS buy generic if it’s available it is literally the same thing and way cheaper usually.

Some names to remember when you’re looking for meds!

Acetaminophen = Tylenol

Used to treat pain and reduce fever. Do not take with Ibuprofen.

Ibuprofen = Advil, Midol, Motrin

Used for pain and fever, is an anti-inflammtory. Is good for period cramps because it is an NSAID (non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug).

Naproxen = Aleve, Naprosyn

Treats fever, pain, arthritis pain, gout, period cramps, tendinitis, headache, backache, and toothache. Is also an NSAID.

Acetaminophen + Asprin + Caffeine = Excedrin

Usually marketed as “Migraine Relief” as a generic.

Asprin = Bayer

Use for pain, fever, arthritis, and inflammation. Makes you bleed easily so should not be used for periods. Might reduce risk of heart attacks.\

Triple Antibiotic Ointment = Neosporin

Used on cuts, sores, and scrapes to reduce risk of infection and promote healing.

if you live off ramen, add stuff to it! add veggies you like, don’t use the whole flavor packet to cut down on sodium and msg or don’t use it at all and add your own spices.

if you’re making something with potatoes in it (beans, stew) potatoes are done when you can easily stab a fork through them.

you can microwave a hotdog as long as you put it in a microwave safe container of water. microwaves work by making water molecules vibrate. also, when reheating rice leftovers, add a small amount of water, like maybe a spoonfull, so it doesn’t get hard and crunchy.

the rice cooking advice above is for long grain rice. if you’re making short or medium grain rice, a 1:1 ratio (one cup water for one cup rice) is better, so the rice doesn’t come out too mushy.

buy a few cans of chicken. wholesale club stores like sam’s, costco, or bj’s tend to carry multipacks for a good price. they’re incredibly useful for when you forget to defrost meat.

buy meat on sale and put it in the freezer. buy vegetables on sale, and put them in the freezer. frozen veggies are often as flavorful and good as fresh ones, keep longer, and often come in microwaveable bags or with microwave directions.

soak ink stains in milk to help get them out or at least lighten them.

soak blood stains in water as soon as possible, with a bit of detergent or stain remover. scrub at them. use cold water, heat binds proteins to fabric. tbh, there’s no real need to change the washer from cold-cold setting unless the thing you’re washing says to wash in warm water.

-coolant or water if your car overheats (coolant is preferable cause it won’t hurt the engine in the long run but hey i know money is tight) 

-flashlight in case you break down at night and need to check under the hood and your phone is dead

-SPARE TIRE. 

-jumper cables.you will at some point leave your lights on. you just will. 

Don’t be afraid to go to your local food bank. They are there for a reason.

1. Buy a roll of parchment paper from the cooking shit aisle. A big roll will last you for-fucking-ever. Pretty much any time you’re using a baking pan you can line it with that stuff and save yourself A: food sticking to the pan and B: it’s a quick rinse and it’s clean.

2. Bread can get fucking expensive, so make your own. A bigass bag of flour and a bag of active dry yeast (store it in the friiiiidge!!!) works out a FUCK of a lot cheaper than buying bread at the store, and you can do so much more with it. Bread, pizza, rolls, cinnibuns, homemade pizza pockets. It seems intimidating but it’s stupid easy.

Seriously. It’s stupid simple to make, and most of the “3 hours” to make it is sitting around surfing the internet or doing whatever the fuck you want while the dough rises. If you have an afternoon free once a week to sit and play video games or surf the net, you have the time to make your own bread on the cheap. Here’s my simple-as-fuck recipe:

2 ¼ teaspoons active dry yeast (You can buy a bag of this stuff CHEAP in bulk stores, the little packets are hella stupid priced) 1 cup warm water (think a hot bath) 1 ½ teaspoons sugar 2 tablespoons oil (any kind works for the most part) 2 ¼ cups flour 1 teaspoon salt

1. Stir the yeast, water, sugar, and oil up in a bowl. Let it sit for about 10 minutes. It will foam up VERY high, this is the yeast getting happy! If it doesn’t get all foamy, the water may have been too hot or not hot enough. Remember, Yeast is alive! Treat it like a nice girlfriend!

2. Mix your flour, salt, and the yeast concoction up in a bowl.

3. Knead that shit for about 5 minutes. It will start sticky as heck, but will come together into a nice dough. If it’s still super sticky, toss in a bit more flour. Here’s how to knead it: 

4. Put your dough in a covered, lightly oiled bowl and leave it someplace warmish for an hour. At that point it will have roughly doubled in size, give it a gentle punch to release the gasses that have built up inside. Cover it again and let it sit for a bit longer.

Boom. You have bread dough. Here are some baking times and uses for ya:

Optional egg-wash: Just crack an egg into a bowl, add a pinch of salt, and mix the bejeebus out of it with a fork. Brush (or if you’re like me, goop it on with said fork) that shit thinly on bread before baking for a nice crust.

Pizza: Stretch it on a pan, stab the fucker all over with a fork, add toppings, bake 425*F 15-20 minutes. 

Bread Sticks: Make snake-shapes, let rest on pan 10-ish minutes, bake 400*F 10-20 minutes.

Dinner rolls: Make ball-sized (yes those balls) balls. Place on greased pan, let rest 10-20 minutes to rise. Egg-wash and bake 375*F 25 minutes.

Bread: Lightly score (cut) the top, let sit for 20-ish minutes on/in whatever you’re using to bake it, egg-wash, bake at 375*F for 20-ish minutes. It’s done when it sounds hollow if you knock on the bottom.

You bet your ass you can deep-fry this shit for cheapie yeast doughnuts. Roll that shit in sugar or dip it in whatever, it’s fucking tasty.

Bagels: YES. YOU. CAN. Form bagel-shapes out of the dough and boil them in salty water for about 2 minutes. Egg-wash them and bake them at 400*F for 10 minutes.

Cinnamon Rolls: Roll that shit out into a rectangle. Brush it with a mix of butter, cinnamon, sugar, and a pinch of salt (no exact amounts here, do it to your taste). Roll it up into a log, and cut it into discs. Let them sit 20 minutes in a pan and then bake at 375*F 15-17 minutes.

You can add whatever you want to the dough for some variety, just if it’s dried spices remember you really only need 1-ish tablespoons. I personally like making bread with about 1 tablespoon of dill in the dough. Roll it out flat, sprinkle it with cheddar, roll it into a log, squeeze the ends shut, and bake it like a regular loaf of bread. Cheesy dill bread OMNOMNOM.

*ahem* That got a bit long. But yeah. Bread’s expensive, yo. Save your wallet.

If you want to buy & store a ton of rice at a time, buy white rice. Brown & wild rices may be better for you, but they only last a few months whereas white rice lasts forever. Also, a tablespoon of butter (or I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter in my case XD) plus a dash of salt will really help plain white rice to not be quite so flavourless and boring.

When you buy meat, plan to portion it same day & buy Ziploc freezer bags and put them in the bags in individual portions. That way, you can freeze them individually & take your meat out for dinner the night before & have it thawed and ready by 5 o’clock without having to buy the day of or something stupid. You also save a little bit of money buying the ‘family pack’ sizes of meat like chicken breasts, ground beef, & Costco steaks. I portion mine ¼ lbs. ground beef to one bag, one chicken breast to one bag (unless they’re huge, then I cut them in half), and roughly cut the steak into chunks about 4-6 oz. each. Plastic sandwich & freezer bags aren’t expensive at all when you consider how many you’re getting, plus if you buy them from Costco you’ll be set for literal years.

I’d also suggest adding hamburger buns to your basic-foods-to-have-on-hand list. Hamburger buns are convenient - You can use them for any kind of sandwich - tuna, egg salad, PB & J, and of course burgers - and it’s just grab & go.

Stock up on cheese when it goes on sale! When I buy mine it’s like $3.96 or something down from almost six bucks, and the big bricks are always cheaper than the small ones. The big bricks (450-500g?) can easily be portioned for a recipe because ¼ of that bad boy = 1 cup grated cheese. Cheddar can be used in almost anything. Get some garlic butter and hamburger buns and you’ve got yourself some garlic bread. Get some pizza sauce or any generic tomato sauce, pepperoni, and some mozza on sale and you’ve got mini pizzas.

Frozen veggies are a godsend!! I’m not a veggie person but I love the taste and convenience of Green Giant frozen corn & peas (peaches & cream and sweetlets respectively). Just put some in a microwave safe container with a splash of water and a lid on top (not secured, just loose), and in 1-2 minutes time drain them & you have an easy side dish. It’s genius, and they’re dirt cheap. Always have some frozen easy veg in your freezer.

It’s not a bad idea to buy some discount microwave dinners for when you’re having a rough time. If you can’t find the energy to cook or clean, you still need to remember to eat. Get some Michelinas for $1 on sale to put away in your freezer for those off days.

You can put bread in the fridge to keep it from moulding. People used to bitch at me for putting my bread in the fridge because it makes it go stale faster - it doesn’t unless you leave the bag open & untied, but then that’d be the same case sitting on the counter, wouldn’t it? Storebought bread lasts just over a week on the counter, but bread tossed in the fridge a few days ahead of expiry keeps it for damn near a month. If you’re making a burger with those buns I told you to buy, throw them on a cookie sheet and toast them in the oven for a minute or two (don’t even preheat just turn it on), no more cold bread. Problem solved.

your condom breaks

you feel a lump on your breast

your friends are ignoring you

you’re stranded on an island 

you got rejected by a crush

you get into a car accident

you got stung by a bee/wasp

you got fired from your job

you’re in an earthquake

your tattoo gets infected

your house is on fire

you’re lost in the woods

you get arrested abroad

you get robbed

your partner cheated on you

you’re on a ship that’s sinking

you fall into ice

you’re stuck in an elevator

you hit a deer with your car

you have food poisoning

your pet passed away

you fall off of a horse

you or your friend has alcohol poisoning

you have toxic shock syndrome

your condom breaks

you feel a lump on your breast

your friends are ignoring you

you’re stranded on an island 

you got rejected by a crush

you get into a car accident

you got stung by a bee/wasp

you got fired from your job

you’re in an earthquake

your tattoo gets infected

your house is on fire

you’re lost in the woods

you get arrested abroad

you get robbed

your partner cheated on you

you’re on a ship that’s sinking

you fall into ice

you’re stuck in an elevator

you hit a deer with your car

you have food poisoning

your pet passed away

you fall off of a horse

you or your friend has alcohol poisoning

you have toxic shock syndrome

Baking by Lori Stern on Instagram