Miss Atomic Bomb

I like hearing “I want you to come” instead of “you can come if you want”

my nasty ass was confused bc i thought this was about busting a nut

Humans will pack bond with anything. 

I once saw a really bumpy lime at the grocery store, just a real ugly fruit. Later that night my boyfriend & I were driving home from rehearsal at like 11:30pm & passed the grocery store & I stared crying & he said “is it that lime? Do you want to go back and get it?” And I nodded and pulled the car around and bought the lime.

I saw this post once but IT GOT EVEN BETTER

the plot chickens

why do 70,000 people have as bad of a sense of humor as me

Hey I don’t say this a lot but I will miss the birth of my first child to watch this fucking shitty ass show for one night only

They should have called it super doo instead

Boyfriend: will you marry me? Me: You cannot offer me this ring Boyfriend: I’m giving it to you! Me: Don’t tEMPT ME FRODO!