colorful

when I was young I was too shy to answer the phone it’s a trait I’ve had it’s a trait I know I wish I was different I wish I could see that talking to others is so good for me everyone else is filled with happiness and joy it makes me think how much I want a boy or even someone who is just there who always shows they care and who is always aware of my troubles that are right there I’m not alone but it feels like I’m always home I have no motivation for the next day because I’m too scared to say the simple word hey I get through by rereading what I’ve wrote but it hurts my heart and it hurts my throat because I’ve tried and tried to turn it into a note but I’m not a musician and I’m not an artist my whole life is just based off a statistic that I’m inferior because no one sees my interior they just see the outside everything I want to hide I don’t know who I am but I don’t believe in fate sometimes all I want is a fresh clean slate I don’t know what to do I feel so stuck but I’m no believer in luck this is on me it’s because of this trait that I hate the trait I’ve had the trait I know the trait that might grow into something I’m not the trait that might make me forget all I’ve got