jarchivist lovebot

jonathan "paranoid" sims is paranoid in the same way that hamlet's a procrastinator and othello's jealous and macbeth's ambitious.

crucially, none of those characters possess even an ounce of the trait they're most commonly associated with. hamlet doesn't procrastinate, if anything everything falls apart the moment he acts without verifying the facts. and from then on, his problems stem from an impulsive tunnel vision driving him forward. othello isn't jealous, the correlation between othello and jealousy comes from iago's famous line of "beware jealousy, it is the green eyed monster." othello's fatal flaw is distrust and insecurity. macbeth doesn't have many personal ambitions, he's just very susceptible to peer pressure.

and jonathan archivist sims isn't paranoid. he wasn't paranoid for even a second of the podcast. if anything, he's naive for a large chunk of it. but since he works at Gaslighting Central, everyone around him is telling him that he's being paranoid when he worries about getting brutally murdered at the workplace; the thing that happened to his predecessor, all of her assistants, and the vast majority of his friends.

elias's "don't be so dramatic jon" and notSasha's "let's have no more of this paranoia" have become as defining for jon as iago's "green eyed monster" line became for othello.

guy who kept the coffin of the buried in his living room and used it as a coffee table

walked out of the spiral because his dog needed dinner

the plumber who was so inattentive that the stranger put on a whole spectacle for him and he straight-up missed it all

THE BURN LINE by @jonnywaistcoat is out in the UK in TWO DAYS.

West End Lane Books are offering signed editions (with international shipping, if North America can't wait the six addition weeks for your banging edition)

Have you seen his boyfriend?