Black Rose

Love wasn’t real. I didn’t know what love was. I guessed it was some pretentious way of people making out that they had a connection better than everybody else’s. It was almost like they were competing. I knew the truth though; love didn’t exist. Sure, you could like someone a great deal but love was nothing more than really liking someone. I didn’t buy the whole ‘falling in love’ concept either. How could you fall in love with a stranger in a bar? Either you were female and drunk, or male and wanting to get laid. That was it. Nothing else. ​But sadly enough, that was where everything changed.​

My outlook on life was a constant worry to my mother. I don’t know why she cared so much. Maybe she wanted me to find someone special to spend the rest of my life with, so that my eventual marriage wouldn’t be as much of a sham as hers had been. Or maybe, and more feasibly, she couldn’t wait for an excuse to have a huge wedding. She loved organising parties, sending out invites, excluding friends who’d minutely offended her and making a huge deal out of nothing. 

Every time she managed to get hold of me, she’d make me go somewhere with her, somewhere she could meet all her friends who had daughters around the same age as me. It was a joke. I was never, ever, going to hook up with any of those kinds of girls. They were so fake, almost as fake as me. Designer clothes, designer jewelry, designer handbags, designer shoes… it went on and on and I couldn’t bear it. The thought of spending my life with someone so pretentious made me want to laugh out loud. I endured it for my mother’s sake, not because I felt any real affection towards her, but more because I felt like I should. She was the one who’d brought me into the goddamn world and I felt obligated to be the kind of son she wanted. 

And so I played the part. I did all those things I saw doting sons doing, pulling out her chair for her, kissing her on her cheek, telling her about my life. I went to the opera with her, for walks in the park, to art galleries, to Michelin-starred restaurants, even to the goddamn ballet. Ballet. Over-priced tickets, for over-rehearsed performances, surrounded by over-dressed people. I used to dread going to the ballet.

Ballet was a staple favourite of my mother’s. I’d probably accompanied her to over a hundred performances throughout my life. I liked the music, and sometimes the dancing impressed me, but usually all I saw was a bunch of men in tights which I found pretty pathetic. 

Things changed, one Saturday night. It was November, and we went to see The Nutcracker. I’d seen the show over ten times, and each production had been tediously similar. I didn’t have high hopes. It started off the same as always; nothing new, nothing excitingly different. The first Act was unimpressive. Intermission. Cigar smoke. Lots of talking. A girl my mother wanted me to meet. Needless to say, she was as boring as the ballet. And finally, Act II which began with the Sugar Plum Fairy’s solo dance. In a way, I knew it was going to be special even before it really begun; that ethereal, glockenspiel-like celestial composition, the hushed stillness of the audience, everyone’s attention focused on the sole figure on stage. 

The ballerina was okay but something else had caught my attention. I don’t know what it was about her, but for once I found myself absorbed. Everything about her embodied joy and seasonal spirit. I’d never been so immersed on a woman before.

I didn’t realise I’d been holding my breath until she was standing with the crowd clapping at the performance. The applause was riotous but I barely heard it. I didn’t expect that anything could make me feel so much emotion. I sat quite still, my heart pounding even though I hadn’t moved a muscle.

“Who is that?” I whispered to myself but my mother had heard me. 

“Alessandra O’Neal. She was the understudy. Clara Kasson was supposed to be the Sugar Plum but she was injured during rehearsals.”

“Not her, her.” I mumbled pointing at her as she continued to watch this damn play. Following my hand, a smirk graced upon my mother’s face as her eyes landed on this gorgeous woman who’s sight I couldn’t get away from.

“Oh that’s Drew Smith, she’s down here as an intern writing a paper about New York. You know Unconventional Magazine.” She mumbled. For the first time in my life, I appreciated her obsession with ballet.

Removing my eyes from her frame, I watched the remainder of the show and the bows while I kept sneaking little peaks at her frame. I went home at the end of the night and out of sheer curiosity, scoured the internet for information on Drew Smith. She was everywhere. Awards, dance magazine covers, high definition photo-shoots. She was beautiful. Even frozen into one mini-second, you couldn’t deny that she was beautiful. Honey Brown hair, heart-shaped face, hazel eyes, smooth skin, a perfect sized mouth. And that sparkle in her eye, the slight lift of her mouth… like she was hiding some incredible secret. 

I wanted to know what that secret was. I was already obsessed with her aura. 

Suddenly, my days had an order. I couldn’t go a day without having her blazing inside of brain.

Before long, I knew her story, knew she’d joined the Unconventional Magazine Company at seventeen, and had progressed steadily through the ranks. She’d been there four years, played some semi-major roles and was about to be promoted to head editor, which explains why she’s here.

I read the few articles she’d written, almost memorising every last sentence. I felt like I already knew her. I knew every fluid line of her body, the perfect two to one ratio of legs to torso, the dip of her waist, the luscious curves that she possessed. She was sexy and curvy like a pink diamond. And if she was a diamond, what did that make me? The hunter? It fit. I was stalking her through webpages, finding out everything I could about her, waiting for a chance to approach her. Maybe it just gave me something to do, a change from my monotonous meaningless life, but I felt like it was more than that. I felt like I had a connection to her, even without officially meeting her, I would spend hours on end just drawing murals of her gorgeous face. I had to find a way to approach her. All my attention was focused on her, on meeting her and having my feelings reciprocated and that was all I concentrated on. I didn’t stop to consider whether I was behaving rationally. I just had this one goal and I did everything I needed to do in order to achieve my goal. A normal person would say I was obsessed and honestly? I was. Maybe I needed to go talk to a shrink or connect with people in a real way but I never thought about that. All I thought about was her. Until the day she had finally approached me.

The heat was blazing throughout the area as I continued on my stroll to the Irish Pub. As soon as I entered the bar, my eyes landed on the teens doing horrible karaoke. The blue lights displayed an comforting setting setting while everyone enjoyed themselves. 

“Good evening sir, welcome to the Irish Pub, my name is Tina and I will be your waiter for the evening. What will you be drinking tonight sir?” The waiter mumbled looking me up and down while biting down on her bottom lip admiring my distressed physique. She smiled a lust filled smile as she walked away while I tried to return the favor. It didn’t take her long to grab my drink but she made sure to leave her number on the piece of napkin before she made her way back into the back.

I sat at the table just staring into my drink. It had been a long stress filled day and the heat had a way of dragging me down more. The Pub was showing the effects of a long and comfy spot as there were massive amounts of people enjoying the company of others.

As I begin to slosh the ice around in my cup I seen the door open and in walked the most gorgeous woman my eye have ever landed on. The computer couldn’t even compare to seeing her in person. She looked as though she just got out of a business meeting wearing a nice fitting pair of work jeans that hugged her jeans perfectly, a white shirt that showed off little to none of her boobs because of the cheetah scarf, and a pair of heels that made added height to her height but I could tell that was short.  I felt my entire body flush and quickly turned back to my drink.  I finished the drink in one quick gulp and set the glass aside. The annoying waitress was quick to take the glass and immediately replace it with a new drink.

While I was thanking the waitress, I noticed that she was staring at me causing me to become extremely nervous making me force my head back down. 

 “Your dream girl is right there in front of, YOU BETTER GO GET THAT!” My inner me viciously spoke out to me making me feel like I was less of a man. 

 “I’m nervous okay.” I mumbled as I listened for the sound of her heels coming my way. 

 “Nigga she’s coming towards us, she wants the dick man!” He yelled fading away into oblivion before my breathing became too hard to handle at the sight of her jacket appearing at the head of my table. Her scent was too intoxicating making me feel like I was sniffing heaven and all of its particles. I wanted to inspect the flaws of her facial structure but the nerves wouldn’t allow me to look up at her face to face. 

 “Andrew Carter?” She mumbled with a hint of confusion laced in her voice. Her voice was even music to my ears as she spoke my name. “I’m Drew Reynolds. I couldn’t help recognising you. I’m doing an article for Unconventional magazine on New York City and I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind talking with me for a little while.” That night literally felt like heaven on earth to me, even though it only lasted for one night, it was still the best. I finally got to have sex with the woman of my dreams and that night was the same night that the old Adrian Carter left the window.

Five Years Later

Drew

The sound of my ringing alarm system went off throughout my room forcing me to awaken from my deep slumber that I had found myself so caught up in. A deep exhausted sigh escaped from my torn face once I realized what happened to me once again. Focusing my eyes on the alarm clock that now rested on my nightstand, the time read 7:00 p.m., “I’m going to be late.” I mumbled as I tried to ignore the fact that I still had my fingers resting inside of my dripping pink ocean.

 Another night wasted dreaming about the past that he wouldn’t allow me to re-enter. Another pair of panties wasted on a nonexistent dick that ended up being my fingers once my eyes popped back into reality. A disgusted look that came across my face every time I caught myself in such a downgrading way, me in my sleeping sexcapade, because I had let my dreams go on for to long. The pain that my heart endured every time I had to look to the side where his body once rested upon and not see a very attractive male laying beside me resting his arm around my waist. He was too busy pleasing his job the way he used to please me to even realize the pain he’s been putting me through over the past five years. The agony that I had to face seeing him across the television screen showcasing his talent while I stayed at home was just something my heart wouldn’t allow me to even attempt to swallow. I should’ve been there with my arm secured around his arm supporting him on all of his success. A small sigh escaped my lips as I finally removed my fingers from the wet substance between my legs. 

 A groan escaped my lips as I somehow conjured up enough strength to lift myself up so that I could rest on the bed that held so many profound memories. Memories that still traumatized my dreams that were caused by the flaws that I let him conquer. That’s what happens when you throw gasoline into a world surrounded by fire… It explodes and destroys everything in its path permanently without repair. 

Removing the covers from my sweat covered body, I stood up from the drenched bed and made my way towards my closet to quickly pick out an outit for my date tonight. Spotting my red Herve Leger dress, a golden smirk appeared on my face as I imagined his face when he sees me in this. He makes the most adorable facial expressions when I put on something sexy. Well hell, everything I wear is gorgeous to him but whatever. Once I found my dress for tonight, I began searching for the right shoes to go with it. Suddenly my gold Giuseppe Zanotti Sandals caught my eye, so I picked them up and placed them beside my dress on the bed. 

Once I found my outfit I went to grab my towel before walking into my bathroom so that I could wash away the deadly sins that has planted themselves inside of my dreams. Turning the shower knobs to the temperature of my desire, I hurriedly undressed from my damp underwear and jumped inside immediately feeling the water trickle down my body leaving me feeling relaxed and undead. Grabbing my favorite body wash, Forever Red, I spread a little onto my wash cloth before I soothingly massaged my aching skin while I allowed my thoughts to wander around in my mind. Turning the knobs off, I grabbed my towel wiping off my face before drying my body off a little so that I could step out without falling like last time. Securely wrapping my towel my body, I removed myself from the fog covered shower door. 

After I had wiped off some of the fog from the mirror, I brushed my teeth and washed my face getting rid of the dead appearance that was plastered across my face not so long ago.

 Picking up my phone to check the time, the time had now read 7:40 meaning I was already late and I know that everyone was pissed the fuck off by my lateness. Before I could even place my phone back on the counter an incoming call was popping up on my screen. Seeing the name flash across my screen, sadness instantly strolled though my body because I felt like I had already let him down. 

 “Hello!” I immediately spoke as my heart beat began to run a mile a minute. 

“Where are you?” He mumbled sounding like he was chewing some type of food. Hearing his voice instantly had my heart melting at the sound of it. The sadness in his tone instantly made me want to cry because he was sad because of me. 

 “I’m so sorry babe, I’m on my way now okay and I miss you soooooooo much.” I annoyingly cooed trying to make him feel better, which seemed to be working because he began to giggle at my cuteness. 

 “I miss you, want to know how many.” He excitedly asked. 

 “How many?” I giggled going along with his cuteness. “

One hundred and infinity seconds is how much I miss you. You read me a bedtime story okay?” He whispered, not wanting his little posse to hear him. 

“Anything for you baby, but I’ll call you later because I have to finish getting pretty for our date.” I mumbled. 

 “You already pretty.” He mumbled causing me to chuckle at how cute he was being right now. He is the light that shines through this dark cloud overshadowing my happiness. If he wasn’t in my life, the happiness that I do receive would be nonexistent. My life would be in complete shambles. “Red coming?” He mumbled referring to his favorite perfume which he continues to compare to another human. 

 “Of course but I will see you shortly baby, let me finish getting ready okay.” I mumbled pulling my damp hair up into a high bun. 

 “Alright.” He mumbled sounding like he was butt hurt that I had to get off the phone with him. He does this everytime I have to get off the phone with him, or leave his side. I just love me some him. Once the call had ended I hurriedly finished dressing myself into my little outfit. Once I was fully dressed, I sprayed on some smell good to balance out my body wash, before placing my chanel earrings and my chanel necklace where they belonged. Considering I was almost an hour late for my date, I just decided to blow dry my hair out and just wear my natural curls; nor did I wear any make-up minus my eye liner and my ruby red lipstick. Taking a quick glimpse into my full body mirror, I couldn’t help but to smirk at how good I looked. My ass and boobs were sitting so right in this dress. Grabbing my purse and car keys, I made sure I turned off all of my lights before I left out of my room. Look at me getting all bedazzled for him. Before I left my house I made sure everything was turned off before making my way out the door. After I locked the door, I decided to ride my white audi s5 today.

Pushing the unlock button on my keypad, I hurriedly walked towards my car to rid myself from this night time heat that was beaming down on me. Once my car was started, I turned the AC unit on backing out of my parking lot as another incoming call began to blare from my cellphone. Fishing through my purse, while keeping my eyes on the road, I sighed in relief as my hand grasped ny ringing phone. “Hello…” I mumbled connecting the call to my car speaker as I stopped at a red light. 

 “Babeeee I miss you.” My over dramatic best friend Tanya mumbled adding in a little fake cry at the end of her statement. 

 “Why is everyone missing me all of a sudden and stop all of that whining?” 

“Because everyone is addicted to your sexy ass but anyways what are you doing?” She mumbled once she finished cackling at me. 

 “On my way to pick Zion up so that we could go out on a little da….” Before I could even finish my statement, she was hollering in my ear. See the dramatics that I have to go through when dealing with her? 

“Y'all are sooooooo cute, I swear. Ugh now I want one just from watching how you and him interact. He loves the fuck out you baby. Them little girls better watch out.” She continued to rant on how much me and Zion’s relationship inspires her. I couldn’t keep myself from smiling at the truth laced behind her words. 

 “Well thank you baby but I’ll call you back tomorrow, I’m about to go see my man.” I mumbled cutting her off as I pulled into the familiar driveway that I’d grown accustomed to. Once we said our farewells, we hung up with each other before I looked to see if my make-up was still in tact, which it was. Turning my car off, I grabbed my purse and phone before making my way towards the front door. 

 Before I could even have the pleasure of knocking on the door, it was being pulled opened by just the man that I wanted to see as he stared back at me with a huge smile on his face causing me to mirror his contagious smile. “Where you been?” He tried to yell, but failed miserably, while crossing his little arms as I tried my hardest to not laugh at him trying to play the bad guy. 

 “I’m sorry lil man, mommy over slept. Do you forgive me?” Slouching down to his level, I came face to face with him awaiting his answer. 

 “No you make me sad.” He mumbled turning his head trying not to see my face so that he wouldn’t give in. I just thought this was the cutest thing to watch. 

“Okay so you don’t want to go out with someone as hot as me is what you’re telling me?” I mumbled pulling on his little necklace that I’d bought him for his birthday as he tried to hide his little smile. 

 “No.” He stated as he turned his whole body around giving me his backside. 

“Oooohhhhh so that’s how it is now? Okay I’m leaving.” I lied standing up walking outside the door. 

 5…4…3…2…1 

 “Mommy no leave me, I forgive you, I sowwie!” He screamed running after me and attached himself on my legs. Hearing his little sniffles instantly put me in my mother mode and I was now sad for making him cry. Reaching down to him, I lifted him up instantly comforting him as he placed his head in the nape of my neck as he wrapped his arms around me. 

 “Zion I was only kidding baby, I will never leave you okay baby. Mommy is sorry okay baby.” Trying to keep my composure was very hard because I just found it so cute that he was such a mommy’s boy. 

 “Okay mommy, I forgive you but no happen again okay.” He sternly stated as he pointed his little finger in my face as my mother laughed in the background as she watched as this whole incident went about. 

 “Go say bye to your grandma for me.” I watched as be released himself from my hold and ran his little tale towards my mother happily wrapping her up in a tight hold. 

 “Bye gwammy, I wuv you, I be back mommy take me out.” He excitedly smiled as he told my mother our plans for the evening, even though she already knew that. 

“That’s great Zion, are you excited.“ She said as they released each other from their strong hold. He viciously shook his head yes while his pearly whites continued to expose the little teeth he has. The joy that came from his little heart whenever he spoke of me or even mentioning my name. This was literally the greatest feeling knowing that no matter what you do, you’ll always have that one person that’ll leave you in the wind. 

“Will you make sure all of the men stay away from her?” 

 “Nooooo she mine!” He hollered out as he ran towards me clenching his little arms around my legs. 

“Mommy I yours okay.” He stated looking up at me with the eyes of his father, staring deep into my soul.