Black Man Writing

Living Alone by Yaoyao Ma Van As.

Fun little personal project!

“I’ve made my name now.  I’m a journalist.  I live in a nice neighborhood.  But it was hard growing up in Paris as a black girl.  I’m from the island of Martinique.  It used to be a French colony.  There were no jobs on our island, so I came to study in Paris at the age of twelve.  Things were very difficult.  I was one of the only black students at my school.  There was a lot of racism.  One teacher especially made my life difficult.  She taught economics.  It wasn’t my best subject because I was more interested in literature, so occasionally I’d talk to my friend during class.  And the teacher failed me for ‘disrespecting her.’  She told me to go back to ‘the coconut islands.’  She said I’d never amount to anything in life.  I ended up pursuing a more artistic path.  And a few years later I became the principal dancer in a big musical.  It was a showcase of music from my island.  Many famous musicians participated.  I convinced my white friend to invite that economics teacher to the performance.  She had no clue I was involved.  When the show was over, I walked straight into the audience, found her seat, and asked: ‘Does this count as doing something with my life?’ (Paris, France)

“I don’t know why my mother hated me.  She had a sickness that you could not see.  But she convinced me that I was sick.  And that everything was because of me.  And that I’m a monster.  She criticized everything.  My way of eating.  My way of speaking.  My way of dressing.  Anything that brought me joy, she would deny me.  If I defended myself, she would hit me.  I was terrified of lunch and dinner because that’s when I had to face her.  I spent my entire childhood alone.  I just played with my cats in the garden.  Or sat on the floor of my bedroom.  I’d try so hard to leave my body because I didn’t want to be on earth.  And that’s when the spirits and fairies would come to me.  Even Mother Mary came to me.  I was never afraid of them.  They’d comfort me.  I remember being seven years old, sitting alone beneath a tree, talking to the fairies.  Another little girl walked up and asked what game I was playing.  That’s when I realized nobody else could see what I was seeing.  And it’s been a very lonely existence since then.” (Paris, France)

Marianne is a social pariah, Connell is a football player. Sally Rooney’s nuanced, flinty love story opens in a small town in Ireland, where two teens who “get” each other get together.