Running On Caffeine And Denial

Let's try this again, shall we? Hi, I'm C. The person who had a bad day and accidentally deleted her Tumblr. If you followed me on my former blog, please follow me again. 🤦🏽‍♀️ Most people know me as CSMarton63 from My AO3. Please mind the tags for warnings, as some topics I write about may trigger people. My blog is 18+. Read at your own risk.

I am the creator of the pairings Daisy & Seb, Teddy & Essie, Darcy & Seb, and Haley & Jack. Plus, all the other OCs I've introduced you to over the years. Neither series is finished. However, my primary focus is currently: Everything Is Waiting for You. Updates are usually monthly. You can also Buy Me A Coffee here.

My more well-known series is From That Front Porch View with Daisy, Seb, and the Coles.

Currently also in the works are:

Never Letting Go (Teddy and Essie One-Shot Series)

Half of Something Else (You'll know soon enough)

Standing Still With You (Daisy & Seb plus everyone else)

Some original work, but that's still being tossed around in my head

I'm a plant person. I also love dogs, cats, traveling, most music (especially Indie), reading, taking pretty pictures of books, coffee, and tea.

Favorite playlists to write/edit to:

New Order Best Of

Write It Out (Personal)

Everything Is Waiting for You (official)

My Socials

Goodreads

Storygraph

Instagram Book Blog

Discord: snobbyc63

Ask me about anything, and I'll answer the best I can. I promise I'm nice. Commissions are currently closed, but that might change this year. 👀👀👀 We’ll see what happens.

The Haley and Jack vibes...🔥🔥🔥

"We broke up."

"I'm sorry."

"No you're not."

☠️

Me: No, but I saw a video of an orange cat hissing at a gray cat, then immediately became submissive when the gray cat put his paw on him, so...

Him: Pretty much, yeah.

Is the song that inspired the final scene of ‘Everything Is Waiting for You,’ and

Is the first scene’s song for the sequel, ‘Atonement’ (working title).

My work season is officially over until June (holding firm on this, no matter how many of my clients push for me to take them sooner).

My house is (mostly) functioning again—despite my destructive puppies, who ate two pounds of pine nuts and now have to be monitored.

My achilles tendonitis is flaring up (probably from work), and it’s forced me to couch rot—which I needed more than I liked to admit.

I’ve read books. Not as many as I typically do in a month but time for myself is a win. Daggermouth, We Who Will Die, The ReDo List, and The Scattered Bones remain my top reads for this year (so far). Broken Souls, the Bones and the Blood & Souls Duology, and the Dungeon Crawler Carl Series are also worth the read. Our Ex’s Wedding (current read) might join that Storygraph list.

I’ve finally caught up with The Pitt. Don’t ask me if I’m Team Langdon or Team Santos. The answer is both. And therapy for everyone who isn't currently receiving it. Also, for the love of all things holy, Abbott isn't geriatric. He's like a fine wine that keeps getting better with age.

I’ve been rereading chapters from ‘Everything Is Waiting for You,’ and listening to playlists. I have a working title for part 2 and a general idea of the plot.

My am-staff pit/boxer/blue tick mix not wanting to feel left out, ate part of a tennis ball and might need emergency surgery.

I feel I owe you all an explanation for why it's been over a year since my last update. The person who wrote the 'From That Front Porch View' series looks quite different today. I don't know what downtime feels like anymore. If I'm lucky, I get two hours to myself a day. Often late at night, when I can barely keep my eyes open.

In the past year, my husband changed jobs, and everything suddenly fell on me. My dad's health declined, and his dementia progressed more rapidly than we expected. My kids' schedules became more demanding. The volunteer leadership role I took on in my community turned into something I resented, even as I kept showing up to cover for those who weren't pulling their weight. I picked up additional freelance work to help balance our additional expenses, and often work around my family's schedule, well into the late evening. I also lost my mind and adopted two cats and two older puppies. To say my life is chaotic would be an understatement.

I went from a functioning adult with managed undiagnosed ADHD to someone triggered by their inbox and phone because it goes off nonstop. The number of flags on my reminder to-do list makes me want to hide from it. I turned 40 a couple of weeks ago. My body feels old, but my mind still thinks I'm in my late twenties. My life is good, but it's also exhausting.

That said, I miss writing. I think about these characters often. I read in what little free time I have. It's easier, and good for my mental health, but I miss this part of myself. I'm finally past having a panic attack when I open Scrivener to write. I've been reading through previous chapters, listening to old writing playlists, and taking notes on words and ideas I want to use in my writing and future works. I'm working 60 hours next week, but after that, my life is slowing down significantly. I have two months off, and I intend to focus on writing during that time.

Please bear with me, stay subscribed, and/or keep that bookmark saved. The next chapter is halfway written. I'm determined to finish both this part of the story and the next. Until my next update,

I'm attending a writer's symposium in the hopes of overcoming my brutal writer's block while navigating parenting in a messed-up world, mourning the loss of my dog, juggling work without consistent childcare, trying not to scream no matter how much I want to, and reading every book I can.

The next scene is in my mind. The words are there. But there's so much noise in my life that I don't know how to focus on writing anymore.

I'm asking you to not give up on me. My children are finally in the same school starting in a couple of weeks. We are adopting another dog, and I'm in the middle of my busy season with work. However, that is all about to slow down.

I'm trying different things to find the words again, but I think part of that is getting to know the person who used to write them again while embracing the person I've become.