Won't get notes anyways.
Being an introvert is terrible. You usually only have a small handful of friends. And if you want to chat with them, you're at their mercy of availability. Some can't because of plans. Others are already in a group and don't check their messages. Sometimes you get invited out and you try and be social, but in the long run, you just want one person to connect with for a while. Sometimes, you get someone who shares an interest, but you're passionate about it and they aren't. You go into this long winded rant about it, and they just stare at you like you're insane. They get up and go. Then the neurosis sets in, "I'm weird, I can't be amongst these people." Anxiety eats at you and you want to forever avoid being yourself around anyone even your friends. You try and make plans with people who could be up for it, then last minute everyone drops out. Sure, it's a movie, we can go another time. You already bought your ticket and drink. It's only 15 minutes till show time. Fuck it, you're going alone to this. You're always feeling emotionally alone anyways. You don't need friends who never even thought about when your birthday is. Even the thimble full of people who know never say it to you the day of. Maybe the day after, maybe a week. But you're still alone. And all you want is to connect with someone. Being an introvert, with all the standard neuroses and anxieties, you lose hope. Sometimes one person comes out after you've finally started crying out, sometimes two. But anxiety tells you that you can't have help. That if they're trying to help you now, it's to better themselves, and to put you in debt to them. That's not the case. It's in your head though.
