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@bizarrebaby
Masterlist
it ainât much, but itâs honest work
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Halloween Costume Headcanons| Madman!Lalo & Princesa
Pairing: Lalo Salamanca/Princesa (the reader insert character of @richeeduvie 's Madman!Au) Notes: I am not the author of Madman! But I do think about it a lot. More than a healthy person, for sure. Anyways, these are just my thoughts on couples costumes for Lalo and Princesa!
Lalo is not big on hosting parties or even going to them, especially not now that he has Princesa. But he does love to show her off, and a little Halloween party at the hacienda once a year is a perfect way to do that.
Neither of them did much to celebrate Halloween as kids, but seeing it in so many movies, Princesa always dreamed about having a perfect costume, of dressing like her favorite characters from the silver screen.
Obviously her relationship with her dad, and the way that he was, wasnât one in which he would ever be buying her a costume or taking her out to trick-or-treat. Not to mention, they didnât exactly live in a great neighborhood for it.
So dressing Princesa up for halloween and having a partyâ itâs another way that Laloâs being a good papi for her. The man is a little obsessed with healing her inner child. In a way, he wants to overwrite all of that suffering from before she knew himâ making her life with him perfect in a way it never couldâve been without him.
I know youâve touched on Lalo seeing Princesaâs favorite old movie stars (and how she clearly has a type and itâs cock with mustache lmao) and just like. Itâs a good thing Princesa likes old movies and these actors are already dead lol imagine if Princesa was fawning over like. Pedro Pascal. Man would be in danger!!!
Anyways, I like to imagine that Princesa likes lots of romantic movies with heartthrob starsâ Tom Conway, Errol Flynn, Cary Grant, Peter Oâtooleâ and at first it makes Lalo a little jealous because of course it does. Lalo is the type of dude who wonât buy Princesa Frosted Flakes bc why does she need some buff tiger man on her cereal. Could see her reading the very hungry caterpillar and be mad sheâs reading abt other men. Sheâs like âyouâre the handsomest man I knowâ and heâs like âyou know other men???â
But then one day Princesa says something that totally changes his whole perception of it.
âYou know, I used to put on this movie and dream of being just like her. A handsome man showing up out of nowhere and sweeping me away somewhere⌠and my dream came true.â
â I used to depend so much on these movies because⌠they kept me company. While I was waiting for you to find meâ for us to meet, you know?â
And then itâs like Lalo canât bring himself to hate all these ancient gringos from the movies. Because he knows little Princesa was so lonely and just as needy as she is nowâ but she didnât have anyone (once again his hands are always flexing when he thinks about poor little girl Princesa). So they kept her company while she was waiting on her guy, yeah? Theyâre not so bad. And now, she doesnât even need them anymore. But heâll still keep buying her movies. Itâs good that she has something to do that can keep her inside.
Alsoâ I think Lalo is so in love with Princesa (love is what weâre calling it to be nice lol) that he definitely thinks theyâre like a fated pair and heâs basically the only man in the entire world who can give her what she needs, so their meeting was like destiny. And to hear that she kinda thinks the same wayâ that her life up until Lalo was her waiting for Lalo? That makes him so happy itâs almost sick. And heâs definitely bringing it up when they fuck (cough cough make love) for the next eternity.
I think it helps Lalo's jealousy that her old hollywood stars always end up looking at him or exist in his image. Suave man with a mustache, cock with a mustache. I think it also gets at him cause he hates to think he's believing Princesa is made for him and they're soulmates - it's so weak of a thought for a big, strong man like him to have. You know, the way he thinks of himself. But him thinking that while Princesa's attraction to him was based on her childhood crushes. But I love this!
The idea of Lalo being cautious of the Frosted Flakes Tiger cause he's ripped has me cracking up though. Tony's got some chesticles idk what to say-
"You know...it was just that I used to put on this movie and dream of being just like her. I know it's childish...which is fair, I guess. I was a little girl. But I would just think about someone coming, someone kind and...everything, and they'd take me away, even if it was just for day. I think it happened, it came true, maybe."
She sniffles. Even after all this time, Princesa can't meet Lalo's eyes when she talks like this in his arms.
"They kept me company, I didn't really have a way with making friends. For the most part. But then I grew up and they were still company - noise, while I was waiting for us to...meet, you know?"
Lalo stares down at her.
There is no possible way that they didn't make love that night.
The thought thrives in Lalo's head, that they are meant to be. She's made for him, and all of his life up until he met her was to make sure that he'd be able to take care of you. He wouldn't exactly say it, the words would make him too open, weak in the head and arms. But he feels it and his ego, his delusion in his obsession revels at Princesa's words. She's braver than him to say it.
Then the way little Princesa was alone as a little girl that takes up space in his head. She's so needy now, he's gotta think a child that needs a mama and papa and friends would be even needier, but she didn't have anyone to come and save her...no good papa and no mama at all, and all she had were movies to keep her company?
Yeah, not a good thought.
"Now you don't need these movies anymore, no? Just me?"
"...Lalo."
"Just saying."
Pillowcases | Lalo Salamanca/Reader
Pairing: Madman!Lalo Salamanca/Reader Warnings: NSFT. Lalo is a straight up freak in this. Blood kink EXTREME. Unsanitary. Summary: The dry season has hit Mexico, and it's not doing you any favors. Three times you get a nosebleed around Lalo-- and what he's gonna do about it. Notes: The Madman!AU belongs to @richeeduvie (let me know if you want me to stop tagging you every time I rip off your content lol). This contains references to Madman but can be read as a separate thing.
1â You lean forward a little too suddenly for Laloâs liking, hand cupping the bottom half of your face. Heâs caught in a trance for just a moment, seeing the red drip between your fingers and onto the ceramic floor with a quiet plat plat. He grabs some tissues from the box on the coffee table, his free hand finding the small of your back.
âAi, pobrecitaâ itâs the dry season now, baby. You must not be used to it, huh?â Lalo brings the tissues up to your face.
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I imagine itâs almost impossible for Lalo to get emotional during a movie, but the closest he gets is when thereâs a little girl in a movie thatâs crying and scared and alone. Alice in wonderland got to him just a little. Panâs labyrinth DESTROYED this man inside.
Because every time he sees a little girl crying and scared he thinks of princesa when she called him on the night he killed her father. And he thinks of how many times princesa must have cried as a little girl, all alone and scared, before she grew up and Lalo found her. Before he even knew she existed. And it makes Lalo burn. He wants to dig up her father and kill him again 1000 different ways, but it still wouldnât be enough.
This is Not for Tears - blurb
You catch Lalo almost crying at the movie you're watching. You don't know why. anon ily and ur thinking, everything comes back to Princesa lets be fr.
.ăťă.ăťăâăť.ăťâŤăťăăťă. .ăťă.
It's a harsh scene, but you're also thinking on how good of an actress that little girl is. She's crying, eyes squeezing shut and there's just something different, something more of a heartbreaking when a child cries - especially her, she's alone in the story now.
"Please, I'm sorry! Come back!"
You swallow, letting your head fall to Lalo's shoulder, arm locked with his.
You pride yourself, as stupid as it is, that you can really focus when it comes to film and TV, but the grip of Lalo's hand on his knee catches your eye.
But it's his eyes, the tensity that burns into the screen.
"Lalo?"
It's like he could break his jeans with the hold of his palm, the pulsing of his fingers.
"Are you okay?"
Lalo takes in a breath he doesn't let go. He doesn't share the air with you...almost like its wrong to breathe when he's angry like this.
"...This is a bad movie."
You blink, sitting back up. "What?"
He sniffs harshly, straightening out his body against the couch. "Why are they making this niĂąita cry like this?"
"Because...she - or the character...she's going through a lot. She just got lost in the la-"
"It's a bad movie, Princesa. Little girls shouldn't cry like that."
...You don't know what to do, you barely know what to think when it comes to what Lalo must be feeling. You sniffle.
"It is sad."
Lalo huffs before he shakes his head once.
"No kidding."
In the dark, it's almost impossible to see everything that makes up Lalo's face right now - but when the screen flashes bright, you see a...dewiness on the edge of his waterlines.
Like he's about to cry.
But that can't be it. Lalo doesn't cry. Not over movies, anyway - but you've never seen him cry before.
And you know him, you know you shouldn't mention it at all.
Lalo sniffs again.
"Lalo? Is it really that sad-"
"What kind of people think of a story where there's a niĂąita crying throughout half of it, huh? What kind of sick mind is that?"
You swallow again.
"I don't know, when I was little - I used to write things like that, before I realized I liked drawing better. But I know, it is a lot."
You sniffle again. Lalo turns to you, turns to stare into your eyes before getting up. You pause the movie to get up with him. He wipes his nose.
"It's just...it's not no story that should be real."
His body takes you to the kitchen, Lalo opens the fridge to take out two beers. Not for one for him and one for you, both to share one bottle.
"You want your slice of cake?"
From the other day when you were craving cake.
"Now?"
"...You want your slice."
Lalo takes it out to put it on the table. You sit down.
"You and me can watch some late night TV later. But Princesa, you..."
Lalo smiles, head tilting to the side and tilting low. He pinches your nose, holding it for five seconds or so.
"I what?"
There's nothing on his face before he smiles, off to grab a fork. He comes back to sit at your side, pulling his chair so close. The air between the both of you is little, but it tickles.
He takes a piece of the cake over on the fork, you know to open your mouth.
"Nothing."
And you believe him for the cake slice and the two beers, then the third. Then the fourth.
The fifth is where you can only bare focus to the hilarity of the TV, choking on giggles against Lalo's chest. The fifth is where he spills, even though you don't really know it.
"I did have a hard life when I was a boy. I didn't think nothing of it. Still don't." Lalo coughs and rubs your back, a soothing motion you curl into. He's got warm hands. "But little Princesa had a hard life too. Hard, hard life."
He says it into your hair, you feel the rumble of his chest, the coarseness of his goatee.
"You tell me things about you as a little girl, sweet girl...and you laugh on it. You don't think I think about it. Hm?"
He taps on your spine. You don't know if he wants to respond to whatever he's saying. But he's...calm. Sure of his words. They're low.
You blink into his chest, fingers curling over his shirt.
"I don't think you know that I would do what I did to your papa over and over again."
You don't know whatever he sees you don't know. You believe him. You smile warm when he kisses your hair and wraps his arms around you tighter.
"You don't know."
"Mhm."
You can't help but smile even wider when Lalo kisses you one more time under a pause in the dark.
Backstitch | Nacho Varga/Reader
Pairing: Nacho/Reader Warnings: none. its a little spicy. Summary: Nacho is helping you learn how to sew.
âYouâve got the bobbin the wrong way around,â Nacho remarks evenly, having to suppress the urge to just quickly put it right for you. Youâre supposed to be learning.Â
âIt matters?â You mutter, taking it out from the bed of the machine and turning it around. You pout when you concentrateâ itâs cute.Â
Lobita | Lalo Salamanca/Reader
Pairing: Lalo Salamanca/Reader (third person, female pronouns) Warnings: blood, somewhat graphic violence, NSFT. Usual Lalo warnings lol Summary: You and Lalo are on the road back to Mexico. Back home. But long car rides are never uneventful with Lalo, are they?
Author's notes: This is basically all for @richeeduvie who has BEWITCHED me with her writing for all the BCS characters. This was based pretty heavily on Lalo and Princesa in Madman, but I gave her a different pet name to differentiate because I wanted to make her a little more unhinged and violent, even if she's still Lalo's helpless sweet girl <3
Theyâd been caught off guard. No use in denying itâ it happens to everyone. Itâs been one of those long, quiet drives between New Mexico and, well, Old Mexico. Just Lalo and his girl (the way it should be, no?) and nothing around for miles except for an old farm or the remains of some abandoned building in the desert. He keeps one hand on the wheel, relaxed for the stretch of lonely road, a hand on her thigh so she can play with his fingersâ a way to keep those silly little thoughts out of her head during the silence. He hates to put an end to her focus.
âAiâ gonna pull over, querida,â he hums, turning over his hand so he can loosely squeeze hers for a moment. âBeen on the road for a whileâ gotta stretch those beautiful legs of yours, hm? AsegĂşrate de ser amable y flexible. Andâ not to be crudeâ but your guyâs gotta take a piss, cariĂąo.â She hums in response, a little tired. Just how he likes her.
Sylvian Weave | Pt. 3
Pairing: Gale/Tav Ao3 Link Summary: Astarion is in the mix and he's stirring it up as usual Warnings: again. Fear & Hunger material heehee
Sylvian Weave | Pt 2
Pairing: Gale/Tav Ao3 Link Summary: Gale and Mystra talk about you heehee Warnings: Once again Tav being freaky

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Sylvian Weave
Pairing: Gale/Tav Ao3 Link
Summary: Tav comes from a place so far away, she's never even heard of Mystra. And Gale thinks that's just fascinating. Warnings: This is a little bit of a Fear & Hunger crossover, so there's some far-out kinda descriptions of injury and madness lol
Sinner [Dark!Din Djarin x F!Reader] *SMUT*
Summary: The Mandalorian has been attending confession for weeks now, with the sole intensive purpose to see you.Â
Rating: 18+ smut
Warnings: Dark!Din, implied age difference, religion kink (donât come for meâŚ), sex in a place of worship, smut: loss of virginity, mutual masturbation, dirty talk, degradation, unprotected p in v, cunningless, death mention, alcohol mention, brothel mention.Â
Word Count: 4000+
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REBLOGS APPRECIATED!<3
Heâd been coming to confess for about a year now. Heâd gone off the rails when he lost the kid. Youâd heard rumours about the Mandalorian â strong, fierce, brave⌠a warrior. You certainly wouldnât have pinned him for a man of faith. Youâd seen him a few times when you were shadowing your father in church. He was tall, broad shouldered, and only came during the dead of night, when the abbey was completely isolated.
âHello,â you greeted him, your soft voice echoing throughout the chambers. Your crimson red heels clicked against the marble floor beneath you as you approached the masked figure. Curtseying politely and removing your hood, you couldnât help but bat your eyelashes in the direction the Mandalorian. âItâs quite late. I was just closing for the night.â you admitted, biting down on your lower lip in hope that heâd understand.
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@auty-ren @tintinwrites COME AND GET YâALLS RELIGION KINK
Preview!
Pairing: VampireHunter!Whiskey/Vampire!Reader
Warnings: reference to suicide
Summary: This is sort of a Castlevania/medieval kind of AU. Whiskey comes from a long long line of vampire slayers, and after the death of his pregnant wife at the hands of one of those monsters, he intends on keeping the tradition going. Then he meets you.
You were tense as you walked beside Whiskey towards the heart of the nearby forest. His face was illuminated by the moonlight that broke through the trees, serious and contemplative. You were waiting for him to change his mind and slay you where you stood. You endeavored to look away whenever his eyes drifted back to you. He saw your ears twitch when you turned your head.
HAPPY 46TH BIRTHDAY JOSĂ PEDRO BALMACEDA PASCAL 2nd APRIL, 1975
I and all the Pedro characters will be taking @bizarrebaby in a fight
I want to say âwhat did I doââŚâŚ. but I think I know.
âYOUR BABY BRAIN WILL FALL OUT SO YOUR ADULT BRAIN CAN GROW INâ
âI was home schooledâ âoh that explains a lotâ
Look at this picture of snails eating mushrooms with little forks and knives and maybe youâll calm down

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I and all the Pedro characters will be taking @bizarrebaby in a fight
I want to say âwhat did I doâ....... but I think I know.
a dangerous game | Marcus Pike x Reader x Max Phillips | Part One
A/N: This is gonna be a very naughty angsty fic gdsighskjf
Rating: 18+
Warning:Â Fem!Reader. This is based on Jekyll and Hyde with Max being Hyde so heâs an asshole. This shouldnât be a warning but reader is a prostitute hello we support sex workers in this house (tho men are assholes about it and there is mention of that ugh). Some sexual references. Naughty words. Pining. Angst.
Word count: 3,260, apparently!!
Summary: Marcus likes you and you like him, but youâre both too cautious to admit it. When Marcus takes a pill to make himself more confident, it changes him completely.
GIF credit: ^ Please let me know if you donât want me using your GIF!
Tags: @phoenixhalliwellâ @grandfanficstationâ @reader-s-cantinaâ @an-author-of-stars @readsalot73â @supernaturalgirlâ @star-wars-hellâ @vonschweetzâ @meshlamandoâ @kindablackenedsuperhero @03stepedwa @popascalâ @alexisinorbitâ @zoovweemommaâ @dark-twisted-and-mechanical-mindâ @thefineandnobleartofavoidanceâ @tiredbutwannaimagineâ @pure-etherealâ @ghostwiththemostbitchâ @writingletterstothefireâ @pedro4everâ @djjarinsâ @morrison-mercuryâ @catchmeupimgettingoutofhere @you-and-i-deserve-the-worldâ @freeshavocadooooâ @ajeff855â @codenamewife @heresathreebeeâ @giselatropicanaâ
                         ââââââ
Marcus was never the type to be shy; he was sweet, but not shy.
When it came to what he wanted, he went for it and was maybe a little bit pushy. Maybe he moved a little too fast so he wouldnât waste his time.
But with a divorce and a broken-off engagement under his belt, he wondered if that approach wasnât really working for him.
If he wanted too much, if he pushed too hard even if he convinced himself he wasnât putting pressure on people, if he moved uncomfortably fast, if he was so focused on falling in love that he was choosing people who didnât want the same things as him.
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I love this so much, and I am SO SO SO excited to see where this goes! Iâm not a huge Marcus fan, but I love max, and this is making me feel... complicated..... I canât wait for more!