BI Weekly News

Privilege Served on a Silver Spoon

 Before we can talk about bi privilege let’s talk about privilege. Privilege is a right or immunity granted as a peculiar benefit, advantage, or favor. Privilege in our society is the result of our family and where we live. I don’t know If anyone is familiar with the wheel of oppression and privilege, but it’s good for understanding how privilege works in our western society.

To explain is the picture above, on the top are the aspects of identity that are granted privileges, while diagonally on the same line the opposite aspects that are the oppressed identity. Along the lines you will also notice the many “isms” That are associated with that form of oppression. Of course, privilege is tied up within identity and that itself is a multi-faceted concept, which leads to people falling on different areas of privilege and oppression. For example, a white gay disabled man has a different set of oppression and privileges than an able-bodied queer trans woman of color.

 Privilege does not mean that people don’t struggle, or that they coast through life. It just means that throughout life they’ll have benefits that their counterpart will not.

  Get ready for Heteronormativity’s New Way of Thinking

 Let’s note that LGBT is on the opposite end of the line for Heterosexual.  Heterosexism is the discrimination associated with the oppression. Heterosexism is discrimination or prejudice against homosexuals on the assumption that heterosexuality is the default sexual orientation. Colloquially, our society associates this term with homophobia, biphobia, transphobia etc., as well as heteronormative. Heteronormative is denoting or relating to a world view that promotes heterosexuality as the normal or preferred sexual orientation.

 In layman’s terms heteronormativity is the assumption that everyone is straight until proven otherwise. Heteronormativity though is not specific to people or places. It’s in how our society creates institutions and rules that support the idea of heterosexual couples and/or denounce other sexualities. A lot of gay couples had hard times visiting their significant other in the hospital when they weren’t considered real family members, as Tara Parker-Pope points out in her article How Hospitals Treat Same-Sex Couples.

 Don’t be fooled though heteronormativity does not have to be malicious with its intent. When I was in high school we had a same-sex marriage debate, on whether people of the same-sex should be allowed to get married or not. The way the discussion was held and handled was if there were no members of the LGBT community in the classroom. It was as if LGBT people were something that existed outside and not within the walls of the school. Also, the way the other kids talked about rights that people can and cannot be allowed was very upsetting. I was not out at the time and was not about to out myself in front of high schoolers to prove a point. While I did not like the way the conversation went, I recognize that no one in the class had a good understanding of LGBT issues, not even me. The social ladder of high school is a scary place. However, that situation is an example of how Heteronormativity works in our society. Heteronormativity also feeds directly into the idea of being straight “passing.”

 Congratulations You “Pass!”

 Straight passing is the idea that a person (a bisexual person in the terms of this post) can “pass” as straight. Usually people argue this because bisexuals have the option to be with someone who presents as the opposite gender, creating a relationship that appears to be straight. They believe in doing so bisexuals will thus, not be a victim to the transgressions that other queer people face.

 Heteronormativity’s big role here is that people assume that couple to be straight. In the same way people often assume a single person on the street to be heterosexual. We’re not raised to think about people being queer without having to come out or present their sexuality in some way.

 The Term “Passing” for other Identities

Now let’s talk about “passing.” This term and way of thinking stems from the idea of People of color being white passing. This refers to people who appear as or are often mistaken for Caucasian even though they are not. These people tend to be biracial, however that is not always the case. The importance of the term is more about the treatment of people of lighter skin versus people with darker skin. People that pass as white are given privileges as white people even though they are member of an oppressed group. They can benefit from these privileges until the illusion is shattered in which case they are back to being treated as a minority.

 Colorism plays a big role in those dynamics, but that’s not the take away here. Instead focus on how members of a minority group are awarded privileges because they appear to be apart of the majority. That’s the issue that many lesbian, gay and other queer people have with bisexuality. They feel bisexuals can pretend to be straight until they choose not to be.  So, the” privilege” they get is not being discriminated against for their sexual orientation.

 What does this Mean?

Race and sexuality have similarities in the face of discrimination but are not the same at the end of the day. This isn’t to say one oppression is worse than the other. We’re not playing the oppression Olympics. The intersection of these two identities is important especially for members of both communities but understanding the differences might highlight why “passing” doesn’t work as well.

 Race is a visual part of one’s identity. It’s something that cannot be hidden. Sexuality is not inherently visual. People can choose to express themselves in a way that makes their sexuality visual. Heteronormativity however, dictates that people see the default sexuality as heterosexual unless that view is challenged. Therefore, anyone not a relationship can appear as straight.

 The Verdict

 So, does bi privilege exist, or is it a hoax. Does it have any truth, or are people grasping for straws? Well the answer is…

 I don’t know.

 I know what you’re thinking it sounds like a cop out, but it’s not. This is a very complex and layered issue that I don’t take lightly. I did my research and I’m not afraid to admit that I don’t have all the answers. When I first came out it just made sense that bi privilege existed, and I’ve gone back and forth on it. Personally nowadays, I don’t feel it exists. I can’t imagine people hiding part of themselves ever truly being happy. It just seems they’re still trapping themselves in another closet. However, I see the argument to made for why people think it exist. In 2015, Lindsay Ellis, a movie reviewer and video essayist, formerly known as the Nostalgia Chick published a post called Bisexual Privilege, Bisexual Erasure.  It focuses mostly on Lindsay’s journey with her identity but does bring up the idea “passing.”  In the article, she states bisexuals reap the benefits of the LGBT+ community, but contribute the least. She also argues that they can contribute the least because they can opt out.  The first time I read it, I had mix feelings. She said bi privilege exists. I respect Lindsay and I love her content and the fact she was bisexual was mind blowing. So, I went back reread it. Upon further review I contemplated about what she was saying. I still don’t agree, but I do see her points and the reasoning to how she got there.

 I don’t want to present my opinion as fact. I encourage everyone to draw their own conclusions. I’ve given information to present how I’ve come to reach my own understanding. I’m not saying that answer is right, but for me it’s how I feel based on what I‘ve learned. I’m sure as I learn more my answer will change in time. Everyone always remember to question things, sometimes the answer isn’t simple.