Wandering the World

And for some reason waterboy automatically sits on his knees staring up at Robert with puppy eyes and teary eyes

So now Robert has beef and waterboy staring at him with puppy eyes

Pffft

That’s an adorable imagine XD

For the sake of humor and crack…if this did happen….

Robert would be so fucking confused and he feels weird.

For starters, he RARELY scolds Beef like, EVER. He just goes “BEEF! NO!” When Beef tries to eat things he’s not supposed to.

And now..both Beef and his boyfriend are just..looking sad at him and sitting.

He’s like “..Not you Herm. You’re good.”

It’s too pitiful it works every time

Oh he totally does. Robert still will do it but he’s done it less cause Herm gives him the saddest look hearing his love talk about himself like that. And seeing Herm that sad makes him sad too. He HATES seeing Herm sad. And Herm knows Robert hates seeing him sad.

But sometimes Herm gets..snappy too. It’s..VERY RARE. (Talked about this scenerio with @lio-the-chaotic-nonbeanie-weenie this ask reminded me of it. )

So Robert, Herm and the Z team are all out drinking and Visi is trying to dig into Robert’s personal life a little (she’s trying to win a bet that if Robert did drugs or not). And Roberts not exactly sober but he isn’t drunk..but he just gives a little smirk and is like “oh wouldn’t YOU like to know?”. Visi huffs and goes “Boo you whore!” And corrects her by going “Ah! RETIRED Whore.”

And now everyone is immediately asking a bunch of questions. Herm doesn’t himself and..he looks a bit..uncomfortable. Robert says yes he’s hooked up with people and yes he’s done things for money cause $20 is $20. And the Z team laugh and start calling him names like “whorebert” and “slutbert” and he’s like “yeah yeah, I know you fuckers have done WAY worse than me. Especially you Flambae.”

After Robert stops ragebaiting Flambae, Herm and him are the only ones at the booth and Robert realizes Herm has been…very quiet. And he looks over and he sees Herm looks uncomfortable. Robert and Herm haven’t talked about this part of their relationship cause they’re..well..fairly new still. And they just started feeling comfortable kissing. Robert finishes his drink and asks if he’s jealous. Robert thinks this might be the dealbreaker and he..isn’t looking forward to this conversation. And Herm blinks and he shakes his head. He says he’s not. He..doesn’t like what they called Robert. Robert says it’s part of his past. He did some shit he’s not proud of and he fucked around. Herm’s gotta face it, his precious mecha man was a who-

“STOP CALLING YOURSELF THAT!”

Robert is shocked at Herm’s outburst and Herm looks shocked himself but he still looks..upset. He’s frustrated and maybe a little bit mad too. And Herm says he doesn’t care if Robert “did things” for pleasure or to survive before they got together. He doesn’t care that Robert’s done things cause he loves Robert and it’s in the past. What he DOES care about is their friends calling him names like that cause they don’t have to be MEAN about it. And Robert CERTAINLY shouldn’t call himself that, like it makes him feel less worthy.

And Robert is shocked and he blinks, immediately a little more sober than before. He doesn’t know what to say other than “so it’s..not a jealously thing?”. Herm goes a little red and he says he won’t lie about being intimidated by Robert’s previous partners cause..he knows he has so much less experience. He isn’t jealous just..worried he might not stack up. And Robert comforts him and tells him that the difference between doing shit with strangers and Herm is he’s actually dating Herm. He’s emotionally invested.

He likes they’ve been going slow, taking things carefully. He likes that..he’s allowed to breathe. He isn’t expected to just..go right into it. They can work themselves out more. So..whenever Herm does feel like he’s ready, he’ll take that next step with him. But..he really likes working on them. And Herm smiles a little and he says he does too. Robert then tells him to stop saying he’s not good enough. Herm says he’ll try if Robert stops calling himself a whore and works on his self deprecation. Robert sighs and says he’ll try. And Herm looks happier

Robert then asks if that means he can’t call anyone a whore and Herm blinks and he’s like “Hm? N-No go ah-ahead. I just d-don’t want you c-calling yourself one.” And robert laughs and Herm can’t help but giggle cause Robert’s laugh makes him laugh. Robert just thinks ‘geez this guy’.

Usually, it wouldn't bother him. He's gotten over this, and he's more confident than he's ever been. But today.. today was already a bad day, he just wants to lie down with all his kitties.

Each word burns into his mind, each tease, all the insults.

It gets to him.

Ooooooooof the feeeeeels. Forgive me for this being a bit long.

So…two scenarios come to mind and both can absolutely happen.

I do think the Z team will make fun of his stutter for a little while, even with Robert telling them to knock it off. It’s not everyone who does it. Plus he’s gotten used to it and..they’re just having fun…right? This is what..friends do for fun. Make fun of each other.

But uh..one day it just..hits wrong.

Herm gets another phone number from another woman and he’s flustered and stammers and stutters but he’s smiling a little cause..he doesn’t think he’s attractive but it’s nice to pretend. And the team tease him for a bit about him getting some lady’s number and Herm says “sh-she’s really bea-be-beau-pretty!”.

And then there’s some teasing of Herm having no game or being a virgin. He’s used to that and he knows it’s true. He’s trying to work on it. But uh..then some of the others start making fun of him going on a date or asking someone out. Visi and Flambae imitate him asking someone out with a stutter and Herm just..sulks a little. That’s…what he really would sound like huh?

Robert tells them to shut the fuck up and Flambae says they’re all doing it in good fun. It’s what they do. And when Flambae addresses his “right?” to Herm, and Herm tries to sound as…unbothered as he can but he’s never that successful. He just goes “Y-Yeah! Fun! Heh…”.

And the rest of the shift he’s..entirely quiet.

The team all had plans on going out and Herm was amongst the group excitedly talking about plans earlier in he day. But when they all gather to go out together, Herm says with a heavier than usual stutter that he just remembered he had important things to do that night so he’s going home. Everyone is surprised and they said they thought he was free. And Herm laughs nervously saying he forgot that he has a..very specific once a month chore to keep up with the house! And his grandma needs her medicine organized!

And Robert goes “Herm…it’s the third of the month.”

But Herm says he schedules it for the third of the month, and when he realizes he’s not..doing great at lying just smiles and says he’s sorry for dipping out before hurrying off.

When he gets home he takes care of his grandma, pretending to be okay and he tells her that their plans got cancelled so they’re doing it another day. When she’s in bed..the mask comes off. Herm is in a T-shirt and pajama shorts now. He goes to the bathroom and leaves the door open a crack. He just..lays down on the floor and curls up in a ball and cries. The kitties come in, curious as ever and they won’t get too close, but they start licking up the massive puddle he’s forming. Herm pretends they’re there cause they’re concerned for him and he just cries.

That Monday when it’s time to go back to work Herm is back to normal or well..as back to normal as he can be. Flambae and Visi haven’t apologized for what they did and Herm knows they probably won’t. He doesn’t expect them to.

He’s eating lunch in the breakroom when a hand missing two fingers reaches over him and places something in front of him. It’s one of Herm’s favorite things to treat himself with. Melon Ramune. Herm turns, surprises and he wants to thank, but Flambae is already leaving. Herm..realizes it’s a silent apology of sorts.

Visi still doesn’t apologize but..she doesn’t make fun of his stutter anymore either. No one on the team does anymore. They make fun of him for other less hurtful things but literally no one makes fun of his stutter anymore. He doesn’t know what happened to get them to change but SOMETHING happened while he wasn’t there.

And after that day, the team are actually DEFENSIVE when someone else makes fun of Herm’s stutter. Including Visi. They’ll be out together when someone makes fun of his stutter and the team squares up. Herm is..thankful for that.

So it should be no surprise they’re PISSED when a villain does it to him.

Herm is going against a villain and he’s TRYING his best. And he’s talking to the villain attempting to try to settle things a little more peacefully but then the villain laughs. He asks if Herm is glitching or skipping (like a record or a CD). It’s not the most creative insult and Herm doesn’t mind it as much.

But then the villain laughs again, asking how he can even be a hero if he can’t even “talk right”? And Herm freezes. He’s..heard some mean people telling him to “talk right” or other mean people asking “why can’t you just talk right?” In the past. It’s not..all the time but..it hurts. So he starts getting in his head.

And he starts getting his ass handed to him. Robert heard the exchange and he’s trying to get Herm to focus and ignore what that villain said. And as Prism is walking by to go on break when she hears Robert say “Look what he said about your stutter is utter bullshit now-“

Prism is gone.

She’s rushing out and she’s telling literally everyone else on the team. Robert notices that..a lot of the Z team are..just abandoning their jobs? And Prism is back on the field when he told her to go on break?? Like what the fuck is happening?

Robert asks what the hell are they doing? They need to finish their jobs! Punch up says “I don’t give a F U C K about mowing some eejit’s lawn!!”. Flambae says that the kids at the school he was at can learn about fire safety by their damn selves. Malevola insists that they didn’t REALLY need her help directing traffic. Prism, who’s supposed to be on break, says no one fucks with her boy (Herm is one of two boys).

Even Phenomaman is on his way. He was supposed to calm some people down about a property dispute but Phen just says “Do not fret Robert Robertson. I have moved the house.” And Robert is just staring at the screen just..in shock before saying “What do you mean you moved the house???”. Phen doesn’t answer back.

And Robert hears Herm make a shocked sound and what..sounds like fighting? And Herm timidly asks Robert if..he sent literally everyone. Robert just sighs, holding his head in his hands and he’s like “No. I didn’t.”

Married the love of my life at 50.

Got my Class A CDL at 59.

You've got time.

Ok this is so funny! Just sad little “MROOOOOOOOOW” noises from Herm when he wants attention. Also just imagining him yowling in the middle of the night.

For me personally I don’t think he would do that per se. I see him wanting to give attention more than he asks for attention but uh…he DEFINITELY has his moments.

BUT I CAN TOTALLY SEE HIM ASKING FOR ATTENTION IN A DIFFERENT CAT WAY.

Y’know when cats try to get your attention they’ll tap at you with their paws? Yeah he does that. At first it starts with a gentle tap. Then it goes to a gentle Pat if his partner is still preoccupied or..not giving him attention. And then it’s another pat.

And if THOSE DONT WORK

His partner will feel a bonk against them. Herm has bonked his head against their shoulder, chest, back, etc. And then he bonks again but this time it comes with a nuzzle. It’s usually at this point his partner cannot resist any longer.

And they turn to him and pat his head and asks what’s up. And sometimes…just like a cat…he goes-

“W-What do y-you want f-for dinner tonight?”

He’s asking about food. Pretty ironic considering cats will pat humans when they want food.

When Victor talks to Herman about it, he immediately assumes Victor thinks he's part fish or something. It's not that though.

It's the cat behavior. The slow blinking, the meowing, the way Herman curls up like a cat when he's sleeping, how he stretches like a cat when he wakes up, affectionately headbutting his friends/partner(s), etc. Herman has picked up so many little quirks from being around all of his grandma's cats all the time that Sonar can't fully write off the possibility that Herman is a hybrid.

HAAAAAAAAAAA

And Herm is just..an average metahuman with no hybrid qualities.

And sonar just WONT believe him. And Herm INSISTS but Sonar just won’t give up.

So Herm has to show him that no, he doesn’t have whiskers, or claws, or somehow hidden cat ears. Or a tail (Herm is very humiliated by that one but sonar isn’t givjng up). He doesn’t purr, his teeth are normal. His FEET are normal.

He’s NORMAL.

And then Sonar nods. Then squints. And then says “I don’t believe you.”

The entirety of her break was spent setting up Roberts dating profile and flirting with strangers.

When Robert enters the break room for his daily twinkie, he sees her grinning mischievously with device in hand, entirely too focused on whatever she was doing.

“You’re in a good mood.” He noted.

It takes him until after he retrieves the sweet treat and pats his pockets to realize that…

One: His phone is missing.

And

Two: Courtney’s holding it. Right in front of him.

She looks up from the phone and finally acknowledges Robert with a laugh.

Then she talks his ear off about how she’s wayyyy better at talking to girls than he is.

The teasing doesn’t stop. It ends up being the z-teams go-to when picking on their dispatcher.

“Take someone on a date, god. It’s sad knowing you go home to that empty ass apartment.”

For some reason that one stuck with him. He realized: ‘yeah, that is pretty sad huh?’

Once shift ends, Robert hovers over the app. He’s avoided it entirely, not wanting to see the conversations Visi had on HIS account…until now.

He cringes at the profile she set up for him.

The bio was pretty normal but of course, the normalcy ended when Visi wrote how big of a Mecha Man fan Robert apparently is.

“Can’t have any enemies.” She’d tell him.

Robert fixes his profile and skims through his matches.

he groans, stretching himself as much as he could. he takes a look around the hospital room, “how long…” his voice is rough after months of sleep.

“4 months. they had to put you-” you choke and he grabs your hand, squeezing lightly. “they had to put you in a medically-induced coma for your injuries, remember?”

realization dawns on him and he groans again. “then why does everything still hurt?” you laugh, voice wet with tears. your laughs turn into sobs as you bury your head into his chest. “oh shit- babe-”

“i was so fucking worried, robert.” you clutch onto him and he tries his best to hug you, “i thought you died and then i find out you’re in a fucking coma.” you shake, trying to hold back your anguish.

“i know-” he pets your hair, leaning back. robert clears his throat and you quickly move to get him water. he grabs your hand, “wait.” he pauses, swallowing, “i know you didn’t sign up for this.” he gestures to himself and you sigh, “and i know you deserve better than me.”

“robert-”

“just listen… but i love you and that’s all i have now. you are all i have.” he gives you his smile and you feel yourself melting to his charm once more, “and a shitty apartment plus a broken mech-suit-”

you shut him up, leaning over to press a kiss to his lips. robert tries his best to pull you into his lap, but with his broken arm and ribs, you don’t let him. “you need to get better first.” he groans, but lets you go.

robert takes a moment to look at your face and you smile, suddenly shy. he wipes your tears, “im glad i got to wake up to your beautiful face.” you feel warmth crawl up your face, “so is beef okay?”

“oh yeah, he loves living with me.”

oh do not even get me started (no wait do)

you know the drill. MDNI

tags - cw pretty nsfw, crying during sex, no physical descriptors for reader

wc - idk writing on the tumblr app. not very long?

Robert Robertson III x Original Female Character

Chapter One - Old Friends