That's a good wisdom.

[Excerpt compiled from MBMBaM 437: A Silent Chug. Press J to automatically scroll past long transcript!]

Griffin: Uh, Travis has, uh, set up, uh, “buttercupisagood”…”good”…”girl”…

Travis: “buttercupisaverygoodgirl.com”! And let me say this–

Griffin: Tops.

Travis: –uh, we have got ourselves a second dog. Her name is Lily, she is ALSO a very good girl, dot com, and as soon as I get enough pictures of her, I will be building another Squarespace website called “lilyisaverygoodgirl.com”–I should go buy that now before this episode goes up–

Griffin: Yes.

Travis: –and just go ahead and sit on that–

Griffin: I mean, the real competition, I think, is you need to do it before Justin does it, ‘cause he–

Travis: Oh, no!

Griffin: –yeah, the, Juice, the race is on, if you’ve recovered, and are able to [indecipherable]

Travis: Alright, well, he’s gonna be way faster at it than me! Oh, sorry, I’m racing Justin!

Griffin: Yeah, I can’t wait to see the results of this.

Travis: I’m just gonna lose it, he needs this. Umm–

Justin: I NEED it? I don’t– I don’t need your CHARITY!

Travis: [a single loud lumberjack guffaw]

Justin: Don’t need your CHARITY.

Travis: Okay, then, you read the next one while Iiiiiii get it.

Justin: Alright, yeah, you grab it, Trav. Go for, it bud! Get it, Trav, get it! I don’t have it!

Travis: Oh no, did you already get it?!

Griffin: [the delighted cackling of a crow]

Justin: You have any troubles getting it, bud?

Travis: [slightly higher pitch] Did you already get it?!

Justin: Aww, bud, I got it three weeks ago, bud!

Griffin: [ascends to a higher plane of corvine joy]

Travis: No…

Justine: No, I got it when you adopted the dog, bud!

Travis: Oh, no…

Justin: You shouldn’t have texted me that you were getting a dog before you got the URL of your dog! OBVIOUSLY!

i no longer feel that way.

i no longer feel that way because, as of yesterday, you absolute fucking buffoons have ran your mouth so far that your fire new radical materialist feminist discourse so hot even fellow lgbts cant handle????????? has reached lena fucking dunham

do you want to know WHY your radical materialist feminist discourse reached lena dunham?????

because a bisexual journalist made this simple ass tweet

and in response, some straight white woman decided to tweet this

which would have just stayed straight nonsense if an extremely smart and clever white lesbian writer friend of hers hadn’t decided to join in with a searing hot take based on a radical perspective towards gender that could only have been achieved with her clearly useful phd in queer literature

which would have just stayed mildly irritating if she and the rest of her friends hadn’t proceeded to defend themselves by arguing that bi women deserve rape and abuse actually

which would have only been horrifyingly offensive if all of these people weren’t 1.) people who make money writing about lgbt shit that 2.) were tweeting from their work accounts where 3.) they have enough reach to be followed by actually influential people such as comrade lena dunham

so seeing as the “close your eyes and maybe itll go away” method has CLEARLY failed, i am genuinely pleased to announce my new tactic. its called

Like. 

This kind of person is, straight (haha) up, the kind of person who is only here for “I want mine”. If they’d been born a straight guy they’d be the worst kind of bros. 

This is a thing that happens: I know PLENTY of straight white women whose grasp of feminism is limited strictly to “this affects me, so it’s important”. And of every other stripe of identity.