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2026 Adam/He-Man has officially stolen my heart and it’s wild that tumblr isn’t talking abt this guy. He’s a loser. He infodumps about his home planet on a first date and gets dumped immediately. He works in HR. He can’t drive. He gets mesmerized by his own abs. He’s convinced he can talk things out with the bad guys despite this never working once the entire film. He goes to the gym in a pink kitten sweater that says “alpha male.” He’s been arrested. He sneaks away to transform into he-man as if it’s a secret but literally everyone knows. He brought his earth roommate to eternia to prove he wasn’t crazy. He even killed Jared Leto. What a guy.
next time you encounter something confusing, try using your fan fiction reading device to access websites like "wikipedia" or "miriam webster" to break down those pesky difficult topics. its sorta like a "enemies to lovers" situation, where the scary new knowledge can become your friend - and then you won't look so unflattering when you comment
Thank you to everyone who participated in the inaugural PWHLblr awards during this time of suffering, uncertainty, and sorrow (expansion). We had 500 votes which was amazing! Please enjoy the intentional graphic-design-is-my-passion graphics and the corny text I wrote for each award. They might be shit but at least it's not AI!!!!!!!
Accessibility note: This post is image-heavy but all descriptions of the graphic text are written underneath, alt text contains description of the photographs themselves.
Most Deserving City That Didn’t Get An Expansion Team - Winner: Denver, Colorado - 25.6%
Denver, Colorado wins first place as the most deserving city that didn't get an expansion team this year. Sending our condolences to all of the PWHL fans in Colorado.
Runner ups: 2. Halifax, Nova Scotia - 19.5%, 3. Edmonton, Alberta - 15.3%
The Dearly Departed Award - Winner: The Royale Tiger Towel Paper Towel Power Play Power Through Tough Messes (existing to not existing) - 73.9%
The Royale Tiger Towel Paper Towel Power Play will never be forgotten.
Runner ups: 2. Abby Roque (NY to MTL) - 6.6%, 3. Sarah Nurse (TOR to VAN) - 5.4%
The Jared Award For Excellence In Refereeing - Winner: Jared - 61.3%
Congratulations to Jared for winning the award for worst referee in the league. The fact that we even know his name is a testament to how bad he is at his job.
Runner up: Central Situation Room - 34.2%
The "WTF" Coaching and Management Award - Winner: Steve O’Rourke and the Seattle Torrent - 45.9%
Despite having an absolutely stacked roster of some of the best players in the league, the Seattle Torrent spent the 2025-26 season being run into the ground by horrible coaching. We can only hope it will go up from here.
Runner up: Troy Ryan and the Toronto Sceptres - 42%
Goalie Who Most Deserves A Gun - Winner: Gwyneth Philips - 68.8%
You could say that Gwyneth Philips carried the Ottawa Charge to both of their Walter Cup Finals. From 41-shot shutouts to spinning around the ice like a beyblade, Philips definitely had to deal with a lot of bullshit this season.
God's Most Suffering Player - Winner: still Gwyneth Philips - 45.1%
As one tumblr user put it, the Ottawa Charge had quite a few games where it was "no offense, no defense, just Gwyneth Philips and a dream." From losing her glove in a puck battle to the heartbreaking back-to-back Walter Cup losses, Gwyn has absolutely been through it.
Ad Break of the Year - Winner: Gay Time Check - 41.7%
We're just getting started. 🌈
Runner up: DVD Corner Bounce - 38.2%
The "Which Could Mean Nothing" Partnership Award - Winner: Kenzie Lalonde and Cheryl Pounder - 45.9%
I mean, like. It could mean nothing. 👀
Runner ups: 2. Laura Stacey, Marie-Philip Poulin, and Abby Roque - 33.5%, 3. The Entire Seattle Torrent - 12.5%
The Kristýna Kaltounková Most Overly-Penalized Player Award - Winner: Kristýna Kaltounková - 36.6%
Congratulations to Kristýna Kaltounková for winning the award named for her! With a record rookie total of 45 penalty minutes this season, Kalty is well on her way to being the bane of refs and rule books everywhere.
The "Stop That, You Can Text Her After The Game" Award for Most Egregious Checking - Winner: Jill Saulnier pushing down Ann-Renée Desbiens - 35.5%
Saulnier. Come on. There are easier ways to get someone's attention.
Runner ups: 2. Jocelyne Larocque and Renata Fast WWE Super Slam - 31%, 3. Micah Zandee-Hart and Laura Stacey Skate Lace Entanglement - 22.4%
The Prudential Center Clown Fan Clown Hockey Moment of the Year - Winner: Abby Roque scoring with her face - 30.6%
This award was named in honor of @newyorksirens for dressing up as a clown at the Prudential Center and created due to the perpetual aura that the Ottawa Charge carry with them everywhere. Congratulations to honorary Charge member Abby Roque for scoring a Walter Cup Finals goal with her face.
Runner ups: 2. TD Place Arena Ice Hole - 21.5%, 3. Danielle Serdachny sliding into an empty net, scoring a goal - 18.1%
Lesbians' Choice Award - Winner: Carly “CJ” Jackson - 23.2%
The Seattle Torrent's resident mullet-haver Carly "CJ" Jackson is the winner of the Lesbians' Choice Award. Whether it's advocating for trans people's inclusion in sports, eating hot dogs, cutting all their sleeves off of their shirts, or making sick saves, CJ has certainly managed to catch the hearts of lesbian and other queer PWHL fans.
Fight of the Year - Winner: Abby Roque vs. Britta Curl Playoff Scrum - 36.3%
Sam Cogan of the Frost accidentally set off this fight during the first playoff game between Minnesota and Montreal. Curl and Roque got matching penalties, but Roque got to take home a "souvenir" in the form of her now-iconic black eye.
Runner ups: 2. Montreal Victoire vs. New York Sirens line brawl (feat. Kayle Osborne) - 28.3%, 3. Boston Fleet vs. Toronto Sceptres line brawl (feat. Frankel & Tapani hug) - 20.7%
Quote of the Year - Winner: "Today is today!" - Lina Ljungblom - 36.1%
Thank you, Lina, for the phrase that all of us will probably still be hearing as a PWHL meme in 2035.
Runner ups: 2. "I think I peed a little." - Marie-Philip Poulin - 23.1%, 3. "How can you not be romantic about hockey?" - Eric Gallanty - 21.9%
Blorbo of the Year - Winner: Abby Roque - 16.5%
Votes for this category were split in over 25 different ways, but Abby Roque emerged victorious. From her black eye to the wife line jokes to her charming demeanor, it's easy to see why Roque wins Blorbo of the Year.
'Alligator Bites Never Heal', fanbind for @flawlessassholes !!!! A spectacular fic (with an ongoing sequel!) that I was genuinely so happy to make physical!! Also posted over on my AO3, along with my other ficbinds!
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Actually FUCK IT list of times Shane calls Ilya baby:
- Ilya gets a sunburn during the first cottage summer and neither of them realize it until Ilya is taking his shirt off that night and Shane sees the lobster-red flush across his shoulders. He sucks in a hiss through his teeth and says, "Oh, baby, ouch," and presses the big, broad pads of his fingertips so tenderly to Ilya's shoulder and Ilya has to close his eyes because he feels like he's going to crack apart.
- When he answers the phone and he's alone. "Hi baby," said so softly if it's been a long day. Or a hard one. Or if it's late. "Hey baby," more energetically, usually in the morning, in a way that reminds Ilya of how his teammates answer the phone to their girlfriends and wives. Masculine and jockish and very North American in a way that makes Ilya feel pleased for Shane, in a weird way.
- Glass on the floor in the kitchen. Ilya blindly following the sound of the shatter and not really even thinking about it until he's standing amongst the shards and Shane is gesturing frantically with the broom. "Put on some fucking shoes, baby, please! Fuck, where are your slides--no, don't move, I'll get them--"
- Said gently, as a question, on days when he perhaps stays in bed longer than can be justified by sleepiness.
- "Hey, baby," said some mornings when Ilya comes downstairs dressed for the day and Shane really likes his outfit. Usually an indication that Ilya will not be wearing those clothes for very long.
- In bed less often than you'd think. Really a vanilla sex only thing, because being called baby can sometimes bring Ilya out of it when he's really in the groove. But Shane will lose it a little sometimes, when Ilya says, "Tell me you like it," and Shane says, "Yes baby fuck fuck I like it fuck please don't stop fuck baby please let me cum" and that's. Very good. Obviously.
- Said with a very particular warning lilt and only AFTER Shane has already said, "Ilya." and then, "Rozanov." In the same tone. This is actually one of only two circumstances where the very elusive 'babe' comes into play. If Shane REALLY wants Ilya to stop whatever he's doing or saying, it's a hand around the wrist and the word, "Babe," quiet but firm. And it does shut Ilya up approximately 100% of the time.
- Other instance of 'babe': Any sort of crowd. 'Ilya' is three syllables (Because Shane...pronounces it a bit wrong.) and unique enough that Shane sometimes worries about drawing attention. 'Babe' is one syllable and can be barked above the crowd in the Captain Hollander voice loud enough that Ilya will have no choice but to hear him if he's within the surrounding 500 feet. They have Marco-Polo'd themselves back to each other with 'BABE' and 'SHANE' multiple times in multiple countries.
- One time someone accidently brings several bottles of fortified wine to the barbecue. It's quite high proof for wine and several people get tipsier than normal, including Shane. Halfway through the evening he puts his head on Ilya's shoulder and plays with his fingers and murmurs, "My baby," into the seam of his shirt and Ilya, looking down at him so fondly, says, "Yes. Yours. Drink some water for me, sweetheart."
- "YES BABY." Yelled directly in Ilya's face during goal cellies. Obviously. This is also the first thing Ilya hears when the ringing in his ears stops after he scores the game-winning goal in overtime in game seven of the Stanley Cup finals. Knees on the ice, sobbing, screaming, laughing, and his husband barrels towards him at damn near light speed, tackles him, skids onto his knees and sends them sliding along the ice together, knocks Ilya's helmet off and puts his hands on his face and yells Yes baby! Fuck yes, baby! We did it!
Also while we are (rightfully) hating on (all) transphobes that doesn’t extend into fanbases thank you future Detroit fans for the iconic domain name of puckcurl.com
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