its been... several years since i interacted with this blog. steven universe has ended [save for the upcoming spinoff "lars of the stars"]. the initial reason for my dissatisfaction with the show [bismuth's bubbling] was resolved. after all this time, i think back to my time engaging with this aspect of the su fandom with regret and shame.
to be completely honest? i let my resentment drive me for too long. far too long. it transformed my passion for animation, television, art as a whole, into a black pit of bile in my soul. i gave up on pursuing any career using my drawing skills. i go months without drawing now. all my spite drove me nowhere. i think on some level i was channeling my fear and anxiety about my mother's cancer and subsequent death into hating steven universe. i wasnt as fair to the show as i could have been then. if im being honest, it really devolved into nitpicking for nitpicking's sake midway through.
i stopped watching the show altogether before the finale. didnt see the point if it was making me miserable. i did watch the movie, and a few episodes of su future. i liked them. but my appetite for the show had spoiled by then, and any positive feelings were soiled by... this. this black stain in my brain. i couldnt think about the show without thinking about all the things i hated about it. i still cant.
i probably wont delete this blog. as much as i hate looking back on this period of my life, it is a part of me. i was the one who made the choice to write all those diatribes. and i do still stand by some of the criticisms raised for it; they just didnt deserve the level of scorn i displayed. someday ill be able to watch the whole show with neither derision or blind adoration. one day ill be able to enjoy steven universe as just A Show. but im not there yet. maybe when i get there, i will consider this chapter of my life closed and fully at peace.
take care, everyone. there are unfortunately bigger problems today than a childrens show.













