The pieces we forgot.

So, it's been just over 24 hours since we heard the news that shook our world. I'm talking about the historic conservative majority mandate we awarded to the govt after they failed at parliament. Across the world, we've been watching people fight with their lives to oust their corrupt regimes. Our corrupt govt falls on an unprecedented finding -- contempt of parliament -- and we give it more power. Unchecked, absolute power.

Contempt of parliament: Harper tells us that's just empty rhetoric; partisan games. Desperate power grabs from desperate men. I think, on some level, we'd like to believe our governments. At least I would -- I never have, but I'm idealistic at heart. So, in that way, I can't really fault the naive public for rewarding Harper's contempt machine. And I guess if you take everything PM Harper says as honest truth, and didn't stop to look at the actual facts & his trackrecord, you could be convinced.

Contempt of parliament is a breach of parliamentary law. These laws are put in place to ensure the health of our democracy is kept alive. In other words, checks in balance to make sure our govt does not become corrupt. The law Harper's cons broke was for failing to submit to parliament their total spending for their new crime bills, fighter jet promises & other things. We, the Canadian taxpayers, support the govt spending, so it is important we know what we are buying. And the price. In a democracy, this is how it works in Canada. But the conservatives won't tell. They were ordered by the Speaker in the House of Commons, but they still wouldn't show the pricetag. So, we can only assume 1) They are refusing to release the costs because they are more than they budgeted 2) They don't feel they need to share or 3) They don't know. Or maybe they were wanting to force an election (hell, it wouldn't be the first time!) so they purposely withheld, who knows. We can only speculate, but after months and months of resistance the finding of contempt was revealed. The most respected Speaker that we have ever had in Canada, brought the finding. It was nonpartisan, based on the facts. Then, the vote of non-confidence. Harper was ousted from power. I really thought we could do it.

After watching the leaders debates, I could have puked. Such a mix of emotions -- I appreciated that Harper was being called out on his corruption & lies (he called this "partisan bickering"), but there's something about a leader lying to your face, unblinking, that really turns your stomach. Just on a very basic, moral level, I can't support that. But with those lies, he painted the sky blue. The mainstream media prided Harper on "keeping to script" and "not losing his cool". Okay, what? Are these now points to admire? He told us scripted lies, didn't answer any questions and all but ignored the other leaders. That's not my PM.

But it gets worse. On a purely psychological level, his entire machine is sickly impressive. My studies in psychology can't keep me from analyzing, observing, remembering. And like a chess game, Harper is moving his muzzled men. Govt watchdog agencies are overturned with a conservative slant. Rights advocacy groups are quietly starved. Social programs (you know, the ones we are known for) are snip, snip, snip. He's already stacked the senate with more appointments than any other Canadian PM & he's used them to override the will of the House of Commons. Now he'll get to appoint 4 Supreme Court justices to stack the courts in his favor. He's selecting the new house Speaker, too, so there goes any future contempt findings. He's already appointed hundreds of other court workers & lower level judges as well. Our RCMP & the OPP have been implicated to having conservative ties & under the influence of the govt. And his version of transparency? He appointed an Integrity Commissioner -- whom played an essentially useless position until she was slapped with a gag order & slipped $500,000 severance. It is very easy to be "accountable" when you're watching yourself. He is slowly infecting our entire system & poisoning it. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. And we just handed him it, on a silver platter.

Now the media is trying to scare us about the NDP opposition ("their MPs are too young/not French enough/on vacation/just students/no jobs"). The opposition, who pose no real threat against Harper's power, were more "threatening" in the minority govt than they are now. But still, Harper's propaganda machine is setting the stage. Quietly warning you of what may be ahead. Implying you shouldn't trust them. So then when they start screaming to spread the word about what Harper is plotting, they will be painted with the "over reacting" brush. I can see it coming. The new attack ads will focus on the NDP, to cut their credibility & strenghten the Conservative machine. Young, non-govt groomed people in parliament?!? The Harper con worst enemy. Our opposition will be loud, even if not influential.

Call me optimistic, but I have to be. I see younger people in parliament as a good thing, really. What is govt if it isn't represented by the people? I think everyone that is entitled to a Canadian citizenship should feel represented in the house. And what better way than to get some voices in there. Politics in Canada has always been a rich white man sport; they have lost their perspective. And Canada, where we pride ourselves in being multicultural & accepting (except for the Ignatieff-foreigner! fearslander) we should be ready to make a change. Well, we are ready; we've elected them. Media was cautioning us to "think this through" and that "a vote for NDP is a vote for an NDP govt", and we've done it. We also have our first elected Green MP. We have some ears & eyes in the House of Commons, so all is not lost yet.

Yes, the next 4 will be tough. I felt as if I was sentenced when I saw the seat count. When the results started coming through from the Atlantic I already felt sick. I shed a tear. Not for me, but for Canada. For all those who will be hurt worse by the increased crimping of govt services. All the opportunity lost. As our social programs erode so does our decency. We judge the value of society by how they treat their marginalized. Or at least, I do. Canada is a huge property & small population.. we have so many natural resources, it makes no sense that we have to scrimp & so many of us are going without. And I work in the social services industries. I will see the effects firsthand. I have looked at his budget platform. It has many, many gaps.

So, today was my day of mourning.

My biggest fear is being confined; I live by the freedom beyond these institutions & the walls in which society yearns to confine us.

For years I struggled against this rebellion -- the misplaced thought that I may one day grow past this -- instead I realize now I had grown past this too early

& wasted many years desperate to find my way back.

Our years are spent blithering & building walls of possessions & achievements which work out to be little more than plastic & papers