السلام عليكم

It's an interesting psychological phenoma that has barely been explored.

Salaam aleykum,Sis, it's okay to vent to me. I won't judge you in anyway. Ameen to your dua and may Allah Azzawajal bless you and heal you in all the places you're hurt. May you learn to love yourself and be at ease. Bi'idnillah you will be among those in Jannah. 💗

Salaam aleykum,I'm not going to lie, I feel uncomfortable to be asked questions like this because I feel like there is a certain expectation you have of me to be asking for guidance and I do not wish to let you down.I don't know how exactly to advice you because of your limited info. I don't like giving cliched advice because it comes across as presumptuous and a cheap form of sympathy. It also presumes that there’s a singular way to live and grow when there is nuance involved and the layered complexity of humans isn't something we can pidgeon hole easily. Nevertheless, I'll try my best to help.You say that when you need to communicate with men you feel pleased and you're guilt tripping yourself over this. My dear, you know it's not haram to talk to the opposite gender if it's done in an appropriate and Islamic manner? The fact that you said NEED and not WANT should tell you that it's okay. We all have natural desires that are part of us being human beings and the only thing Islam does make sure we do thing correctly and it organises those natural desires into something meaningful. So if you are person yearning for companionship and you are prepared then Islam has adviced us get married so that out of this normal urge comes something meaningful.There is nothing wrong with feeling happy about your accomplishments and sharing it with your loved ones. But be careful of the evil eye as not everyone wishes you well. Also, don't ever use your achievements to belittle others. Being proud of your work whilst remaining grateful to Allah is okay, being conceited is not. You need to remember my dear, that all of Allah Azzawajal's creation sins and the best of those who sin are those who repent, as the saying of the Prophet (peace be upon him) goes. So don't beat yourself up for it.I could be very wrong but this limited info exposes a emotionally repressed and confused individual. Perhaps your constant guilt of feeling any pleasure comes from your childhood? You need to understand what is shackling your conscious. Deeply reflect on yourself in that aspect. I hope I helped you even a little. Have a great day 😊💕

Salaam aleykom,Basically our parents' generation have a tendency of focusing more on Somalia and it's issues than trying to build wealth and a stable community in the West. This is especially a bigger issue for Somalis in Europe whose bodies are here but mentally are back home. If you ask them about it they'll tell you that they never wished to be here for too long anyway. That would have been fine normally but it has jeopardized and ruined so much of our youth's potential because they see the West as their home while their parents do not.For example, the money used to build a house back in Somalia could have so easily been used to buy homes in the countries they live in which then would have saved them from generational poverty and the issues that come with it. Instead they are almost content with their council or rented houses which is usually situated in low income areas that are rife with crime which will definitely affect their children.