Newtie

if i was a court jester i’d flirt with the king at any given opportunity. subtle at first but if he was interested and we’d share banter then i’d sit in his lap. then he would say i’m the funniest silliest little man alive and kiss me with tongue

how could he NOT fall in love with me though like i am literally there making him giggle, daily. a grown man covered in gold and he is just laughing at my stupid little jokes. i have that bastard wrapped around my finger. He knows it

I’m sooo strong and masculine my arm doesn’t even shake when I’m holding a pot over the sink while I fill it up with water (lying)

Customers aren’t valid

Hey if u like the ocean look at this its rly cool I think

PLEASE UNMUTE THIS I HAVENT LAUGHED THIS HARD IN MY LIFE

It was the zombie apocalypse but I still had to go to work.