local cryptid

femmes i am giving you flowers and holding you close and watching you do your makeup in awe and also fucking you until you can't move

One of my roommates is from China and neither of us speaks the other’s language but lately when she’s in a chatty mood she comes into our kitchen and shows me these douyin Matt Damon x Ben Affleck RPF videos and puts her theories about how Ben has been pining for Matt into google translate for me to read. fujoing out transcends language barriers

Casual dating? Yeah fuckin right dude, I've been working on my vows since we made accidental eye contact

i was giving this girl head in my car and she pulled me up and said "look, someone's coming" so i looked and there was just a guy skateboarding down the road wielding a double-edged lightsaber