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Ripped my tights for a lil pussy play outside my job
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The Punany Poets have a conversation in regards to ass play. They speak about their own personal experience.
Also how some black women and black men are hesitant to admit they enjoy it.
Thoughts???? I think they bring up a lot of good points especially the whole black men feel the whole world is in their bed room judging them.
That âsociety in the bedroomâ line is a key and connects with some other issues that black men have.
They root their sense of selves in things outside of themselves, so it leads to them not being comfortable with their actual selves sometimes.
Thatâs it right there.
@reggaeboy876 I agree to a certain extent. Iâm a baby of the 80s so I grew up in the 90s and I remember back in the day asking a woman if she gave head was equivalent two asking her if she engages in anal. Now in retrospect things have changed to the point where women openly admit to doing it.
Now I know things have changed in regards to men opening up more but you have guys like Drake and others admitting that they do enjoy for a woman to do that to them.
I just donât know that can ever be considered the norm when many men especially black feels that act has a certain stigma to it.
And to be fair some men are reluctant to open up to their woman to admit that they enjoy that out of fear of being judged as we saw was insecure and the way Molly judge the guy she was dating when she found out about his past.
@spacehead29 no not at all itâs not saying that youâre not open. Itâs more of a reference to those who are interested in doing so bar reluctant to do so because they are afraid of how others will view them. I personally got a question from a guy who said he wanted his significant other to do that to him but he was afraid to ask because he was afraid that would make him seem quote-unquote suspect. And thatâs basically what the video is talking about thatâs certain black man feel that the whole world is inside the bedroom.
Itâs not just limited to sex because @earthshaker1217 mention this in another conversation that men specially black men are raised in a certain way that is different. I remember going to a panel where is is a group of black men talking to each other and the conversation was basically about how we we were raised as children and are currently raising our own children right now.
That one of the panel speakers said that he was raised in a certain type of way because his father sells that as a black man he couldnât walk in the world âsoftâ because of the obstacles he would later have to face as a man. So his father used to tell him that crying is a weakness or stop acting like a girl etc etc. He spoke about how he had to break that cycle so you went past those trace onto his own son.
My father was raised like that but he broke the cycle with me therefore Iâm passing on what he taught me towards my son.
I know I kind of got off subject but basically what Iâm saying is that we usually associate certain type of stigmas when we donât have to.
You never have to do anything that you donât want to do thereâs nothing wrong with that but at the same time you shouldnât be hesitant to not do something to try something just out of fear of the way the world will label you
Right right.
This is a great conversation starter. In the African/African-American community there are so many stigmas and fears about anal play and male masculinity. She hit the nail on the head when she spoke about men thinking all of society is in the bedroom with them. There are so many issues that effect our sexuality. From religious dogma, cultural stigma, and legacies of slavery we have become a sexually confused and scared group of human beings when it comes to sex (in other areas also yet thatâs a conversation for another day).
What it means to be a man in our community is so fragile that we cling to things that have nothing to do with the other in order to be considered men.
Not to mention our women do not help in this stigma, because like Killa said before our women are quick to judge and ostracize a man if they do not accept his sexual history or past in regards to what they deem masculine and manly.
So we find that opening up in our community outside of whatâs widely accepted as the norm is frowned upon. To change this we must start dialogue about these topics of conversation and letâs learn to not judge yet be accepting and willing to learn some new things from other people.
Thank you for contributing and you hit it right on the head as did the woman. A lot of black men fear being judged to the point theyâre hesitant to try something they are curious or want to try.  Â
I just got a comment from a woman who didnât want to be identified but wanted me to mention that there are women out there who want to engage in this type of play as well but they feel if they admit to this they will be looked at as ânastyâ or âhoishâ
Youâre correct we have to start this dialogue because as @earthshaker1217 said just because I donât get down like that doesnât mean itâs wrong for others.Â
Iâm noticing on the video you have men at that table but theyâre remaining silent.Â
Honestly, Iâm curious though what would a black woman do if her lover that was a man told her he was interested in this. Would she reject him? Would she look at him differently? Would she feel he is less of a man?
Not a woman, but I wouldnât be surprised when women also buy into toxic masculinity and homophobic patterns.
Just from what Iâve witnessed.
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I mean we saw it exposed on the show insecure. As well from movie director Dee Rees and Tarell McCraney who the movie moonlight was about from their own personal experience. Women can be every bit as homophobic as men.
Even on the show insecure we see Molly say that she need her man to act like a man. As you said toxic masculinity is not only just enforced by men.
Yes toxic masculinity has to stop. It hurts both of us. You can see it in the way men act. It is sad because I think sometimes they canât enjoy sex the way they should because they are worried about reinforcing stereotypes and being seen as less of a man if they did not do everything they hear they should.
I had a man I had casual sex with who I felt was genuinely holding back. I remember the first time we did it the condom slipped off and he didnât openly say it but he was so embarrassed. I could sense it. I remember he would always ask me questions not focused on if I enjoyed the sex we were having it felt more like a performance review. Sometimes he would cum fast and try to keep fucking because he didnât want to admit he nutted fast asl. IM NOT SAYING THAT TO DEMEAN HIM AT ALL. ITS NATURAL. But what bothered me the most was that he felt embarrassed about it. You could sense his shame.
I realized he was afraid I would expose him for whack dick when the condom slipped off and he was like âu gone tell all your friends huhâ. It made me sad that he felt he had to put up a front instead of enjoy himself and that he did not trust my discretion. A lot of times he wouldnât look at me or grab my body during because I could tell he was trying last longer. At the same time I love sucking dick and swallowing and wouldnât give him head cause I was afraid he would think I was too easy even though I genuinely wanted to.
Sorry for the paragraph it just bothered me so much because I felt like he was having sex for society not to enjoy himself and my body. It also made me sad that he felt so pressure to perform.
Do not apologize for the length of your response because what you touched upon was so dope and I want to touch on that as well. Because you are correct Batman also enforced toxic masculinity patterns.
For example some guys are so embarrassed as you said cum too fast or have a difficult time maintaining an erection. Like I get questions on that all the time and I have to tell people itâs normal. One example is I was with my sonâs mother for so long that once I started having sex with someone else I was no longer used to putting on a condom so sometimes I would lose an erection and at first I thought that was something wrong with me but then as I did more research I found out this is something thatâs very common. I basically just had to get in the swing of things again.
We donât have platforms or forms where men can have these type of conversation or where they can ask these type of questions without fear of being looked upon less than a man. I think this is one of the reasons why a lot of men feel they know everything about sex because they donât really ask questions. I person say all the time that my experience with a older women helped shape me sexually to the person I am now but before then I was the same way.
Man I love this, she broke it all the way down.
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