i loathe myself.

‘ probably being the funny one. i hear good looks are the trendier defense mechanism lately. ’

alex just stared blankly at the stranger. his awkwardness was radiating out of his body that it was nearly affecting the wizard as well. hues now squinted, she just watched the male, “you know.. you remind me of someone. my brother who was a major alien nerd. so congrats, you have just bored me to death. and i am sure in another universe, you are not brad pitt. i’m starting believe you might actually be my brother.”

i got to this message late too. i hope it’s okay, but i wanted to keep it in my inbox so i could come back to it and look at it when i needed a pick-me-up. i lied before. apparently i can cry lately, because this immediately made me literally choke up and i kind of forgot how to breathe for a second. there were no tears, but man, was the emotion was just as real.

i’m really glad that my passion is noticeable. chandler isn’t just a character i picked up one day, raised my brow at and say ‘huh, this awkward guy would be fun to RP.’ he’s kind of really personal to me. it’s one thing to like a character so you read other people’s writing, but the fact that you want to watch a show because you like my writing and i’ve made you like the character(?) oh my god i’m not crying you’re crying shut up!

i love you so much for this message. i’m going to embarrassingly reread this all the time. i hope you watch FRIENDS. it has a lot of problems, and its politics aged so poorly that it’s almost embarrassing, but it makes you happy and fuzzy sometimes. besides, i got really attached to chandler so i couldn’t have stopped watching it despite of all its flaws. if you don’t have a good day today, something is really fuckin wrong with the universe.

“i wasn’t aware you had to exchange a gift for love.” nora looked over at the male across the room “here i was under the impression if you loved somebody, gifts don’t matter.” she added “things sure were different a hundred and thirty three years ago.” she added at a murmur.

woah, easy there nihilistic nietzsche, jokes are supposed to make you laugh. then again, valentine’s was supposed to be a day of love, not... ice cream and loneliness. hey, speaking of jokes and valentine’s: he’s never really had a valentine’s date. must explain why he wasn’t able to cash in a gift for any love from his parents. har-har! he packs up that joke in a box and labels it ‘jokes people will people will awkwardly ignore later.’ friends only past this point. you must be this close to get on the trauma boat ride.

i actually put off responding to these because i wanted to space out my OOC with some IC responses first, but please know that doesn’t mean i appreciate your compliments any less than the other ones. it’s actually because of you all that i was able to get to my replies today. i was going to “take a break” and then probably feel really bummed out and “forget” to ever do them.

but this meant so much to me, and it helped me stop pitying myself. if i start feeling bad again, i’ll just read these. it kind of hits me sometimes that FRIENDS was a show close to a lot of peoples hearts and as a consequence is really nostalgic to them – like me! – when that happens, i realize people have EXTRA high expectations. and honestly? it means all the more to me that you love my portrayal and Chandler was your favorite! i’m so glad i can do our favorite justice! could i be any more thankful?! i love you!

this……. i can’t cry lately but if anything could make me, it would be this. i am so, so flattered. i’ve never heard someone say they were in awe of my portrayal, ever. now that that’s out of the way…

THAT’S UNFAIR! i was on anon when i sent my appreciation!!!!! BUT REALLY THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THINKING SO. i’m so insecure about my portrayal that i actually have to watch an episode before i can even start my replies for the day. this helps a lot.

and hey, i hear you’re having a hard time lately. if you want to talk about it, my IMs are always open, ok? have some platonic hearts. <3 <3 <3

so, awkward hug or lame cool guy handshake? thank you so much!!!!!!!! you are amazing and hey, guess what? you’re so kind, and that means people love you! don’t forget it!