I’m the clown and here’s the carnival

these teenagers and their dog are trying ruin our money laundering business. no tony put the gun down were doing this the old fashioned way. were gonna dress up as monsters and scare them

I love any variation on the joke of like "able bodied... for now" "not disabled. Yet" etc etc I love that it sounds like a threat and then we get to be like And why is that threatening to you, hmm. Now they feel like kind of a bad person. I am going to break their legs though so that's understandable

Why are you so afraid of having a body like mine, huh? Sounds like you have a lot of biases to unlearn and reflect on what societal ideas you've internalized that make you feel that way <- holding a comically large hammer behind my back

yo mama so crumb that strong ants took her away forever

big life tips dont be neurodivergent dont be poor dont get in any sort of situation and dont let yourself need or crave

not getting good reports back on your progress with this guys

[very clearly indulging the urge] im fighting the urge

affirmations they will not kill me at work today. it is not in my job description to get killed. if they did kill me at work that would be weird and probably not worth it for them

i love to be the most laidback customer to ever grace an establishment. comrade i will wait one william years for your goods and services

gerard way really does smoke like a beleaguered 1920s starlet. and a beautiful woman aswell

i've been phasing the phrase 'google it' out of my vocabulary and going back to 'look it up'. fuck you youve lost your generic trademark privileges

listening to black parade -> danger days means u go from "i cannot kill myself, killing myself is the myself killer" to "there isn't a bitch bad enough to kill me"

"i am not afraid to keep on living, i am not afraid to walk this world alone" -> "shut up and lemme see your jazz hands!!!!!!"

its kind of fun to uninstall programs you arent using to free up space and see them all beg for their lives