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FULL MOON TONIGHT! I know I quit but hey it’s my birthday weekend and Oahu is one of the most beautiful places on the planet and also butts are funny. #oahu #northshore #fullmoon #butt https://www.instagram.com/p/CnG99lFOsMn/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

HAPPY NEW YEAR from the World Famous @laughfactoryhw. Few things make me happier than ringing in the new year on stage. Probably bc I have mental problems. Remember the secret to happiness is very easy: 1. Honor your word. 2. Don’t take anything personally. 3. Try your best. 4. Stand up for those who can’t. 5. Ass play. At least take a crack at it. I wish all of you an amazing 2023! And hope to see 10% of you soon! ❤️❤️❤️ #laughfactory #hollywood #happynewyear #newyearseve #love https://www.instagram.com/p/Cm3oL2SukGs/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

The new black belts under @marcusvinicius_bhjjc. After being hit by an SUV, 2 separated shoulders, a torn miniscus, a broken toe, a brief coma, adorable cauliflowered ears, 4 herniated discs, bloody eyeballs, rashes, ringworm, and a constant barrage of humiliation, I will spend 2023 as a black belt. Now that I have it, I know have to earn it. Which means living with honor and integrity and, at the very least, letting scumbags know that they will be choked out if they want to victimize someone you know. As @danaherjohn once said, sometimes it’s good to think of life as a zero-sum game. Which means, SOMETIMES, it’s not bad to let an evil person know that you’ll rip their f**king head off. #oss 🙏 #bjj #bjjlifestyle #samurai #blackbelt #billdawes https://www.instagram.com/p/CmwBAlZLJSl/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

The new black belts under @marcusvinicius_bhjjc. After being hit by an SUV, 2 separated shoulders, a torn miniscus, a broken toe, a brief coma, adorable cauliflowered ears, 4 herniated discs, bloody eyeballs, rashes, ringworm, and a constant barrage of humiliation, I will spend 2023 as a black belt. Now that I have it, I know have to earn it. Which means living with honor and integrity and, at the very least, letting scumbags know that they will be choked out if they want to victimize someone you know. As @danaherjohn once said, sometimes it’s good to think of life as a zero-sum game. Which means, SOMETIMES, it’s not bad to let an evil person know that you’ll rip their f**king head off. #oss 🙏 #bjj #bjjlifestyle #samurai #blackbelt #billdawes https://www.instagram.com/p/CmwBAlZLJSl/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

It’s been over a decade, but I finally got my black belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. A journey that started with @renzogracieacademy and @danaherjohn in NYC ended with @marcusvinicius_bhjjc in LA. The legacy and track records of my teachers are truly humbling and the discipline itself makes me feel like a decrepit old white belt, but it’s an honor to get a black belt from a coral belt trained by a red belt, Master Munsor, who studied under Helio Gracie. It’s also a first step in the much longer journey of being a lifelong black belt and representing the sport, the academy, and the Gracie tradition. I’ll never be a competitor, but I hope I can honor my masters and use any skills I have to protect the innocent and put evildoers in reverse cross-over toe holds. Also, I didn’t start into well into my 30’s, so if you’re interested in #bjj, just find a mat. It’ll change your life. 🥋 #oss #bjj #renzogracie #johndanaher #bhjj #10thplanet #anthonybourdain #blackbelt https://www.instagram.com/p/CmWzv8gJZ50/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Fun Fact: I screen tested for the part of 11 on @strangerthingstv. I was told I lost the part on small technicalities like I was not a “local hire” and “creepily old” and “how did I get past security?” In all seriousness, I’m trying to get used to this new bald head. It seems like I’m on the fence. By that, I mean I look like I should be patrolling a barbed wire fence in 40’s Germany. BUT spoiler alert: I’m Jewish. ⭐️ #happyshabbat #truestory (at The Laugh Factory) https://www.instagram.com/p/CmODfIGr-tS/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Playing @jeffbezos in new biopic! Details to come soon! 🤙 https://www.instagram.com/p/ClzbEklA-qV/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

In NY POST today. I said funny things but they cut them out and this just makes me look like a weird loser. (Spoiler alert: I’m a weird loser). But hey, being a regular winner sounds boring, no? What are 5 fun facts about YOU? The weirdest loser wins a $50 Amazon Gift Card. 👇 https://www.instagram.com/p/ClUA01TAJLx/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Agree or no? 🤔 https://www.instagram.com/p/ClM5bXZv4Gd/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

CROWD-SOURCING: keep the goatee or no? Do I want to be only in bio-pics about January 6th? Also, should I shave my head bald for a role? YOUR ANSWERS will determine my fate. Truly. Let me know in the comments below: 👇 (at Vancouver, British Columbia) https://www.instagram.com/p/Ck17JUISE63/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Sometimes I forget how beautiful New York is…. #brookylnbridge #manhattan #sunset #nyc #love https://www.instagram.com/p/CkonOyPg2eV/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Me and my new homie. If you haven’t seen her yet on @alaskadailyabc, check it out. It keeps getting better and better, and I heard the next couple episodes are going to be really amazing. 👍 https://www.instagram.com/p/CkoRpclgbqF/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

“Did you just heckle me, cracka?!” I said, probably. I was 222 pounds here. 🤦 #neveragain https://www.instagram.com/p/CkgIy9KgztI/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

This Halloween, I will be playing the descent into right wing madness. Scroll towards the end… #cosplay #halloween #geterdone #roughneck #igetit #billdawes https://www.instagram.com/p/CkLrakwrEXC/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Frame in frame. I always feel most at home in a makeup trailer, because I can relay all my insecurities about my crooked nose, thinning hair, pale skin, beady eyes and make it seem like I’m getting into character, when I’m truth I just want to feel pretty. 🥰 #makeup #acting #billdawes #nda (at Vancouver, British Columbia) https://www.instagram.com/p/CkJNezLg9oo/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Covid is over. But once it’s officially OVER over, I’m gonna take this commie face shield off and f**k some s**t up. If you’re not watching @alaskadailyabc, binge on @hulu or #abc. If you ARE, what do you think? Things are about to get wild…. #alaskadaily #acting #covidregulations #seriously #igottawearthis? #butiwastested #plusihadittwice #covidisover #itsnot? #ugh #caniwearafaceshield? #billdawes #alaskadaily https://www.instagram.com/p/CkEArpOpXMC/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

New episode of Alaska Daily on ABC tonight! Am I in it? I actually am not sure, but I will be soon so check it out. in the meantime, enjoying Vancouver even though the entire city shuts down at 5 PM. Watch @alaskadailyabc TONIGHT! It’s the number one broadcast drama since Covid started. 🤙 #alaskadaily #hillaryswank #abc #billdawes https://www.instagram.com/p/Cj9auWoDmHA/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=