Neo-soul.

On Tumblr sugar community I see a lot of posts about how you have to look a certain way to attract rich men and how to achieve that look. Being smart comes up here and there but I’ve never seen a detailed how-to post about it like the ones about appearance.

Honestly? I am quite lazy about my appearance upkeep (and I’m the first one to admit this is something I need to improve) and never had any problems getting successful men to fall for me. And they all say how charmed they are by my intelligence, and how fascinating it is to talk to me.

In my opinion, if you’re young and cute and have proper hygiene you’re most likely attractive enough for them to be attracted to you. Of course, the look is important, but here’s the thing; it isn’t a dealbreaker for men with money because a lot of it can be fixed by throwing money at it.

I’ve had a man who gave me 10k to be his date for a charity dinner. He spent another 10k on my look for the day. He had his assistant arrange everything: hair to pedicure, gown, shoes, jewelry, what have you. At that event, there was a girl who was a date to another man at the dinner. She was gorgeous. Possibly the most gorgeous at the table, but she didn’t know what NATO was. Everyone else at the table was engaging in conversations about international affairs and the girl just sat there, embarassed and visibly bored.

To spend money on you he needs to enjoy spending time with you and in order to enjoy spending time with you, he needs to enjoy talking to you. This is especially true if you’re taking the SGF route that requires a more genuine connection.

Sorry for long preface here are the tips~

I skipped the generic tips like keep eye contact, really listen to him blah blah blah… y’all probably already know that.

1. Absorb information

Documentaries, podcasts, books, what have you. The kind middle aged men are interested in and also the kind they aren’t, so you can get both “Oh she likes this stuff, too. Awesome” and “Wow that’s something I didn’t know of. She has her own unique taste. Cool.”

I will do a “podcasts I listen to as an SB” post, so that might be helpful.

2. Make that information your own and form your own opinions

If you just keep bringing up facts after facts, you’ll just sound obnoxious and you don’t want that. The knowledge you absorbed should be a tool for conversation, not the conversation itself.

3. You can have “bad” taste, but you must have a taste.

You can like things that aren’t liked by others. You don’t have to like all the “right” things. But you have to know what you like or don’t like and why, and be able to elaborate on it. If you can do that, they will not look down on you for liking the “wrong” thing. They respect you for being opinionated, and being able to stand by an unpopular opinion. For example, certain movies that I love are considered trashy by cinephiles as well as the general population. But I can go on and on about why I enjoy them. This pot sat across from me with his eyes sparkling in interest, as I went on a tangent about why one of the worst movies in this country’s film history is actually a cinematic masterpiece. He thought it was ridiculous, in a good way.

You know how it’s so cute when someone talks excitedly about something they are passionate about? That’s how your SD will see you and that makes him fall for you.

4. Stay rooted to your culture and heritage. Constantly learn more about it.

This is particularly important to me as an Asian SB whose target demographic is foreign expats, but it applies to everybody. If you’re conversing with someone from the same culture, you can bond over it, and with someone from a different culture you can share and enlighten. SDs often ask me why people here do certain things certain way, and I would tell them the history behind it, and they will be surprised. They will say that the domestic officials they work with here had not been able to explain them and instead said “idk we just do it” and they are supposed to be experts that run this country. If you can fulfil their curiosity, you will be interesting.

5. Don’t be afraid to change topics and be random

A lot of the times the reason people get stuck is because they are trying to stay on topic when it’s okay to move on to another. If he’s clearly passionate about a topic, don’t force the change and instead just listen and respond to him, but if the conversation stagnates, he obviously does not feel the need to talk more about the topic, so jump to another one. It can be unrelated to the previous thing you were talking about. One time I didn’t know what to talk about and then I saw a recycling bin outside so I said, “I recently watched a documentary about plastic recycling facilities…” and the conversation went from there. This is where #1 comes in handy.

6. Share anecdotes, the defining moments of your life. They don’t have to be real.

This makes them feel like they’re really getting to know you and getting closer to you. If you don’t have anything interesting or you just don’t want to share personal stuff with him, make something up. Make something up beforehand and repeat it a few times in your head so you can tell them naturally as if it’s true. Have several stories made up for SDs and pots.

7. Share future plans and aspirations. Again, doesn’t need to be real.

Same reason as above apply, and also, if your life is going nowhere, that can make you boring. Successful men are driven and they usually like people who are equally as driven. Also, if they truly are generous they will want to help, and even if the goal is fake you most likely still can benefit from it. I told my SD why I want to buy a house as soon as I can and exactly how I plan to do that, he was extremely impressed that I had such a detailed plan that actually makes sense, and offered to give me some money so I can have my planned deposit right now instead of having to keep saving till the end of next year like I planned, as well as use his connections to help me get a good deal with mortgage. (Imma get the other daddy to pay that mortgage let me tell you)

8. Sense of humor can be cultivated.

I love stand-up comedy and sitcoms. They do help with sense of humor and the jokes themselves come in handy when a situation relevant to the joke comes up. If it’s a common joke just steal it, if it’s not, you can say, “Comedian (insert name) said, (joke)” and it’s still funny and that’s what’s important. Also, inside jokes will make him feel really connected to you. Stay away from self-deprecating humor, though. A little bit can be funny but when it comes to SDs you want to maximize your value so don’t diminish that, not even for humor.

I am also guilty of stealing a lot of jokes I saw on Tumblr… lmao

9. It’s less about the topic itself and more about what you do with it and how you do it.