me me big boy🍻

Ummm, isn’t it like always time for a party? 

Heck yeah, girl, I like the way you think! I’m like, always down to party!

Who in their right mind would want something to look like Ed Hardy?

Ed Hardy totally rocked back in the day, man! ‘Cause it’s like, tattoos but for your clothes! Y’know what I mean?

You know, planning another world tour is exhausting, why can’t I just do little shows here and there for right now? I literally just dropped my album.

You could totally pull a Gorillaz and just, like, have a virtual version of yourself do all the singing and dancing for you, y’know. OH, or, or, or, or..! You should pull a Hatsune Miku and get a holographic version of yourself... Dude, that would be so sick!

Busiest few weeks ever.  Had to fly from here to there to here to there, but at least I can proudly announce I booked yet another role in another movie. Quinn Fabray is back, bitches. Time is up.

Dunno where all these here’s and there’s are but it sounds like you have a rockin’ time! But like, time’s up for what? We gonna party? Is it time for a party? I wanna party.

Oh, I hadn’t even considered that possibility! I wouldn’t do well in Hawaii, though. I’d want to go exploring one of those volcanoes and then I’d probably fall in. Not even because of the disability, just because I’d probably try to get a good shot on my phone and then be like.. Ope, there I go. 

Nick! All sorts of name puns to make. But yeah, different people are what makes for interesting books. And conversations, I guess, if I can manage not to be awkward enough for the time it takes to have one. 

But dude, dude-- you could like, get a camera on a drone and just like, fly it over the volcano and that’d be such a kickass video! And then you could like, film yourself in front of a green screen so it looks like you’re totally wheeling over the volcano and doing sick tricks, you know what I mean?

Exactly, man! Although I’m not too sure how I feel about the use of the word “spiffy”, you pretty much got it in one!

Well she could probably like, soup up the jumpsuit and bedazzle it and turn it into a total Ed Hardy jumpsuit, y’know? That’d be pretty freakin’ sweet. Hella spiffy.

I’m going with you to Disneyland. I’m not paying for you or anything like that – though, if anyone asks you if I did you should tell them yes. Charity always looks good no matter what kind. We’ll do the whole thing and as stupid as they are I will agree that mouse ears are a must. 

Good, because if you’re drunk when I show up we’re not going. It’s not take your alcoholic acquaintance to Disneyland day. Good, be stoked, because the next best thing to Disney World is Disneyland. 

Okay, okay, gotcha-- I’ll pay my own way and I’ll even buy you some Mickey ears to show my thanks ‘cause this trip is gonna be hella awesome!

Santa? Riiight, sure thing, Nicky. Well obviously I can’t just let you continue going on being pitiful and pathetic never having been to Disneyland. So, yes, I’m going with you. We’ll go and do the whole Disney thing and eat the disgusting food and ride the stupid Matterhorn and watch the dumb fireworks.

Text me your address – I’ll give you my number – and I’ll pick you up. And if you aren’t awake, I’ll find your hide-a-key and march right in and give you the rudest awakening you’ve ever seen so be ready.

Serious? You’re really gonna just take me to Disneyland? Just like that?? Dude, that’s so freakin’ awesome! Man, I wanna go on all the rides and meet all the people and do all of the freakin’ things! First stop is getting a hat with the Mickey ears of course, though, y’know?

There is nothing wrong with pets, my whole life has been about pets. I guess I just wanted something more you know. Trust me I know I have had my share of drama. 

Well, I mean, you can totally have both though, right? Anybody that doesn’t wanna be with you ‘cause you got a dog should be kicked to the curb, you know what I mean?

A fair on steroids is the perfect way to describe it, honestly. It’s much cleaner than fairs, too and that’s a plus. Are you serious? Didn’t we just establish that Mickey Mouse isn’t real? I’m so confused. Fine, whatever, I’ll go with you. No, I don’t know what you mean. 

OK but just because the Mickey Mouse at Disney ain’t real doesn’t mean that Mickey himself ain’t real, y’know? That’s like saying the mall Santa isn’t the real Santa so Santa can’t be real. Like, we got no clue if Santa is real or not because no one’s ever seen the dude for realsies. But whoa, wait, what? You’re gonna go to Disney with me? For real? For really really real??

I’m not going to spoil anything for you, babe. The title is pretty cool. Piper is shown to be super girly and all that gross shit. So she’s swapping ‘little black dresses’ for an orange jumpsuit. Orange is the new black. See?

Ohhh. Dude, I totally get it now. ‘Cause she’s like the new girl in town and got herself a spiffy new orange suit but then everyone’s eyeballin’ her ‘cause she’s the new meat and try’na figure what she’s up to, yeah? 

I think it’s actually Gwen Stefani and the Backstreet Boys. But I didn’t go see a concert. It was a friend’s birthday and I figured I could use my slight celebrity to get us into some high-end places. You’re absolutely right about losing all sense of time though. I was playing the slots while my friends were slipping off a hangover and completely lost a couple of hours.

Man, I gotta get better plugged into the entertainment blogosphere or something ‘cause I got no clue who’s playing what at where anymore. Birthdays are awesome ‘cause you get cake! Dude, was the cake like, tiered? Gotta go over-the-top for some kickass cake, you know what I mean? Did you win anything fun at the slots? Like, you could pull a National Lampoon Vegas Vacation and totally win a brand-new car, y’know?

Cousins are weird because sometimes you love them and other times it’s like ‘dredge up another old, vaguely embarrassing picture for everyone to see ONE MORE TIME’. Ahem. Anyway. 

I’m Artie. Pleased to make your acquaintance on this wonderful site of ours. Online communities are fascinating, aren’t they? 

At least you don’t live in Hawaii! ‘Cause then everyone’s a cousin or something, right? Isn’t that what the Lilo & Stitch cartoon says? Then everyone you know would be showing embarrassing pictures of you all of the time.

Okay…you got me there, those are all very good dogs. That would be awesome. Huh. You ever wonder if Clifford is so big because he comes from a long line of Dinosaur dogs? Clifford might be prehistoric, dude.

That’s scary because when you party is when you need to eat. Remind me to sneak some protein bars into your pockets the next time I see you. I see your point, though. That’s okay, dude, you can definitely babysit and get your fill of dog-petting. I’ll pre-fill some food bowls beforehand and trust me, it’ll be fine. 

Bro, that hadn’t even occurred to me because like, what if Clifford ever had puppies and they were like, raptor dogs? Then I could totally be like Owen Grady from Jurassic World and have drive an ATV leading my raptor-dog pack. Now I’m just imagining all the dinosaurs from the movies but they’re dogs.

Protein bars? I like the ones that got chocolate in them but the ones with the oats taste weird, man. Can I just eat a Snickers instead? Peanuts is protein, right? I figure there’s no way I can mess up baby-sitting a dog ‘cause the mom or dad can be the one to tell me whether or not it can have jello ‘cause like, what if dogs love jello but can’t eat it ‘cause it’s poison or something, y’know what I mean? I hear dogs can’t have chocolate and that’s so sad ‘cause who doesn’t love chocolate and I don’t even know what I would do if chocolate killed me, man.

I don’t know what to do with myself now I’ve finished watching Orange Is The New Black. I should probably do something productive and get some videos done, but I kind of just want to lay around all day.

Yo, no spoilers or nothin’ ‘cause I ain’t even caught up yet but like, I never got the title because like... Orange isn’t black? It’s Orange..?????¿¿¿¿ I am like, totes confused at the title. 

Okay so I just bout my dog the cutest outfit and we went to the park and met this older woman with her five, yes five dogs. They were all dressed cute and she was calling them her babies and I just realized I have become one of those pet people who when they aren’t working their lives revolve around their pets… this is not my lfie or the life I wanted so i need help. Someone point me towards a dating site so i can get out more. I have seen my future and its not cute.

Yo but what’s wrong with pets because they’re like super awesome and keep you company and like, you couldn’t date a dog but it would never break up with you at the same time, you know what I mean?