Part-time soulmate, full-time problem

i love olruggio witchhat so much. he’s a sun-coded black cat. he’s a lethally chronic procrastinator. he’s a girl dad. he lies to the police. his magic is warm. his kids bully him and they’re right. he’s in a decade-long magically induced situationship, but he doesn’t know it’s cursed and he’s in it for love of the game. he’s lowkey a celebrity but chooses to live in a cottage on the countryside with said situationship and their four children. he sleeps on the couch. he was a crazy child. he’s a bit of a picky eater. he has chronic anemia and is two minutes away from passing out at all times. he hates hurting things so much that he struggles to kill a disgusting giant leech. he’s a burnt out gifted kid. he is begrudgingly excellent at one of his jobs and on-purposely atrocious at the other one. he has a baby face and is nearly unrecognizable without his beard. he carries an enormous, inexplicable guilt. he’s the sky’s kindest, most radiant star. he’s the perfect man

we’re so lucky that gilgamesh survived and is a banger. can you imagine if we found the oldest written human story ever recorded and it sucked balls.