when did i say anyone was or wasn't queer enough? this isn't about deciding who does or doesn't actually count as queer this is saying that people are not automatically in community with each other by sharing an orientation label.
here's some examples of how these phrases are used that i don't like:
"the queer community needs to remember our history!" which history? in practice, on tumblr at least, almost always the american lgbt movement. i think its wrong to imply that american queer history Is queer history, and not just the history of queerness in one corner of the world. i think expecting any and everyone to both know and be deferential to the history of the american lgbt movement just because they are queer and speak english, regardless of whether or not thats actually their history, is weird nationalist behavior.
"the trans community has too much infighting" this is a statement that serves to imply that trans people are not allowed to have or capable of having legitimate ideological conflict with each other. it's frequently used to paint trans women specifically as instigators of meaningless internet drama, and completely discredit the critiques they have of the way they're treated by people who are supposedly 'in community' with them
i think pretty much every time "the lesbian community" with no further qualifiers is rhetorically used in a discussion it's been at best meaningless but often actually harmful, because understanding of lesbian identity has long been pretty heavily split between people who are using bioessentialist ideas about who actually Counts as a lesbian and people who aren't. i am not in community with twerfs and never will be, and i think trying to understand or portray lesbianism as a "community" without factoring in these peoples' presence just throws trans women under the bus.
"we refers to anyone who is fighting beside me" is literally a meaningless statement to make to a stranger. i dont know who you are. i don't know what you're fighting for. i dont know what someone has to do to qualify as being beside you. that clarifies nothing. the problem isn't broadness of the category, it is the complete lack of specificity regarding the criteria used to categorize. i'm not trying to gatekeep or police anyone, i'm just saying if you're trying to have a conversation about groups of people, you need to make sure whoever you're addressing can understand who is being rhetorically included in that group.