ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ bertha jorkins

The illegal circus claim sounded just as outrageous as the other rumor going around the school, the one that was trying to pin those four boys as Death Eaters, as Dark wizards. But it was something that Wendy would find herself believing over the alternative. If she were going to think of these four Gryffindors as anything, it would be mad enough to try to steal the Loch Ness Monster.  At Bertha’s words, Wendy found herself nodding and smiling. “Of course! I’ll sign your petition,” she waited patiently for Bertha to gather her parchment and quill, smoothing it out as it was handed to her. Wendy signed her name, noting the other signatures and it made her heart feel heavy with hope. Hope that not everyone will think of those four boys as monsters.

“Looks like you’re getting somewhere on this petition. Do you need any help getting more?” 

Bertha was beaming as she gained another signature, especially one that seemed interested in the cause. Wendy Slinkhard wasn’t someone who often came on Bertha’s radar, she was more of a quiet type of girl or at least one that didn’t get into too much trouble. That made Bertha like her automatically, especially with the prospect of a partner in her journey for justice! “Actually that would be amazing! With the two of us, I’m sure we could get loads of signatures on our path for justice!” Even though Wendy probably had her own supplies Bertha reached into her bag to rip off a piece of parchment and hand it off to Wendy. “Shall we get to work?” She didn’t wait for an answer before skipping off, already spotting two underclassmen in the distance.

END.

Bertha was gentle, for the most part. If you just let her run her course, in the kindest of ways, she would be as docile as a bunny, and Frank saw to it not to be as vile as some others might’ve been. “Well, it was yer birthday, I wasn’t ‘bout t’ send nothin’.” He said, moving the book from the table to avoid it getting ruined from the risk of spilled pumpkin juice, and tucking it into his bag for safe keeping. “Aye, it wouldn’t be much of a secret if I spilled them so quickly, though!” He grinned, knowing if he did put something in there for Bertha to see, sadly, it would’ve been an arbitrary tone from the truth. “I promise t’leave you this in my will, you can run off and write my biography. Might be borin’ though.” Frank countered.

Pulling the plate forward once more, he dug into it, a bite as he mulled. “Birthdays are usually something me ‘n me mum do together, I spent most of my break with her.” He said, and Frank had no qualms having done such a thing. It was special, times where he didn’t see her so frequently. Augusta Longbottom might’ve been hardened and crass—but she was still his mother, and Frank knew for all the faults she might’ve held—he also understood her reasons. No mother was perfect, but she was perfectly fit with him. “That’s a shame you were sick but I like the snowman, you’ll have to see if you can re-create it here—maybe we can get Fancourt t’bring it t’life!” He only suggested it jokingly.

Frank was so kind, a gentle sort of man that usually ran under her raider. She had a type, and that was flashy handsome men that she could be easily distracted by but Frank Longbottom was sort of an exception to that. Well, at least now he was. She couldn’t help but gush as he continued to talk, beaming at the kindness he was sending towards her. “Frank we really should get to know each other better!” It was her way of trying to initiate a friendship, though as she didn’t really have any friends she wasn’t sure how to. “I’m sure it will be wonderful and I’ll be sure to do your life justice! Though waiting until your death seems awfully long and sad, what if I die first? What if I’m too sad to read all your adventures? I petition that I should get a secret a year!” She raised her index finger towards the sky in declaration. 

As someone who was close to her father Bertha could understand the feeling of wanting to spend time with a parent. Plus she heard men got along much better with their mothers rather than their fathers. “Merlin that would be great! We could have a great snowman competition and whoever makes the best one Pandora could bring to life! A little winter companion! Though I’ll be quite sad when it gets warmer and he’ll have to melt.”

Something alluring came to mind when Bertha was involved. She was a pretty girl, there was no doubt. Dumb as a doorknob at best, but weren’t those the kind you wanted to break into their minds. Not that it was hard—or that Bertha had something to offer him. Amycus simply liked the idea of keeping his options open. “Oh no—“ He held a hand to his heart, feigning some sympathy to Black and his equally dull friends. A shameful situation if you asked the elder twin. But there it was, like he couldn’t help the idea of prodding within her mind—and turned his head. “My holidays were wonderful, you know—“ He picked up easily enough to her thought process. “No meatball contest, I suppose, but I did hear someone had a birthday you know, was yours well enough?” Like he cared. “It was good enough—a party, yes, the Lestrange end of the year, really quite spectacular, shame you weren’t there.”

It felt good the way Amycus actually cared to listen to her. She was so used to rattling off and having people just nod along but Amycus seemed to actually care about her. Enough to genuinely keep the conversation going at least and Bertha considered him a dear friend. She’d probably tell him anything he wanted to know. “OOh, that’s great!” she cheered, actually clapping her hands in excitement. She was quite shocked when he mentioned a meatball contest but Xan had probably told him about it. They were housemates and it was quite an impressive feat. If she were Xan she’d probably brag about it to everyone. “It was wonderful, lots of celebrating with my dad and got a few presents from friends as well.” She giggled. “It would have been much too fancy for me, it surely suits people like you, Lestrange, and Rita. Probably would be much too starstruck as well, but I’m glad to hear you had fun. Did you do anything else fun?”

Maybe the dislike stemmed from Bertha’s flitting around those who had the potential for stories, much like Charity with Muggleborns and halfbloods that had experience in the Muggle world. They weren’t unlike one another in that sense now were they? Realizing that caused a bitter taste in her mouth, more so directed towards Ludo than Bertha. 

Force of habit caused her to smile back, not quiet as big as Bertha’s, but still mutual and reflective of the other’s energy, and nodding then as she mentioned sharing her own thoughts about the core four. “Do you have an idea of who could’ve?” She asked curiously, wondering if Bertha’s rumors and gossip stemmed from facts or random guesses and observations. Again, another way the two were similar, Charity too had a tendency to jump to conclusions and the  hypothetical. “Scared of their creative minds? You don’t think they like creativity?” The Dark Mark was by no means creative. But if someone were to approach them with a creative solution would they turn it down?

While sometimes the truth and stories caused unpleasant truths to come out Bertha didn’t like thinking about others negatively. Sure people had negative traits to them, Mary and Marlene could be quite pushy and territorial when it came to be in Bertha’s opinions, that didn’t mean they were bad people. That’s why when Charity asked her to pick a person or the trail of the person who could do something so horrid, Bertha had to retreat to a less pleasant part of her mind. One where she stored information that she tried not to think about often or information she tried to make excuses for. Severus was certainly an unpleasant person but pinning the mark on him somehow seemed wrong. She’d also heard a few concerning things about Oli and the Lestrange brothers from time to time but she didn’t want to pin the incident on anyone if she wasn’t sure. This topic was a little more serious then she cared to gossip about. Rita was much better than that. “Not sure, there’s a lot of names people have been throwing around but nothing definite.” She set her sandwich down on her plate, suddenly disinterested in it. “It’s a government organization I don’t think they’re exactly looking for creativity.”

“Exactly, Bertha! Everybody lies! Including them! Especially them!” Bertram was getting very frustrated now. He knew how Bertha loved the two boys so much and frankly, it was a wonder Bertram still found a friend in her despite her obvious affections for James and Sirius. Maybe it started with Bertram making it his mission to dissuade Bertha from liking the two Gryffindors but eventually, he found it easy to talk to her, especially about boys who weren’t James or Sirius. And given Bertha’s naiveté, he always thought that she’d someday grow out of her stupid puppy crush. Surely, recent events would have changed Bertha’s opinion on the boys. Bertram was very disappointed to find out that that wasn’t the case. “No, they’re not!” His voice got a little louder. “They’re horrid and ugly, and rude!” Bertram spat.

“Listen, Betha.” Bertram grabbed her arm a little bit forcefully, hoping that she’ll finally hear what he was saying. “Don’t be stupid. You don’t know that. They can be dangerous! You have to stay away from them.”

She really liked Bertram. He was a lost soul looking for love, just like her, and he actually liked talking about boys with her. If she wasn’t so focused on drooling over most of the seventh year class of boys she’d probably make it her sole mission to find her friend the most wonderful and perfect boyfriend. But even though she wanted to find him someone, and they could talk boys with each other they had very different opinions on her favorites. “You don’t have to be so nasty!” she raised her voice a bit, still feeling the quiet anger building up inside of her. While Bertram himself had been at the end of James and Sirius’ bullying Bertha and never seen that side to them and couldn’t understand why her friend could be saying these things about them.

“Anyone can be dangerous, we’re wizards. I will not turn my back on people who I believe in.” Maybe it was the Hufflepuff inside of her speaking, not willing to let go of the truth she believed in.

“None of them are legal, Bertha, if you give one to someone without their knowledge. You’re drugging someone and then enticing them into sex, romance… Whatever the fuck.” He waved a hand, continuing in a foreboding tone to try to scare her, “So, I hope whoever you want to use it on wouldn’t be interested in pressing charges if something happened under the influence that they didn’t like…”

Or course, that wouldn’t keep Severus from making the potion. Money was money, and the ethics didn’t actually concern him one bit. He examined his fingernails dismissively, tilting his chin upwards. “It depends on what type of potion you want, but it’d cost you about a galleon. If you want one that’ll last more than a few hours, make that two.” While he was looking away, he felt something poke his shoulder, and his eyes went wide when he glanced up and realized that Bertha was touching him.

“Don’t!!!” he screeched, scooting away from her so quickly that he nearly dropped his book. “I’m clean! Eugh, you’re going to infect me. I’m fucking meticulous about this shit, and if you give me cooties, I’ll sue you.” Severus’ eyes narrowed, and he bit his tongue to keep himself from laughing.

She shied away from Severus’ outbreak, squealing a little as he raised his voice. Sev was scary, and she wasn’t so sure if she liked him anymore but knowing herself, she’d be right back here bugging him the next time her stories needed to be told. “I would never use a love potion on someone Sev, it’s not romantic.” But she still wanted one, and it was a bit painful to her morals that it would be illegal.

“I can get that much, I just want whatever’s cheapest.” Since she had no plans for it to ever be used it wouldn’t really matter how long the potion would last. She just needed it for fun or maybe decoration. She should make sure it was at least pretty. “What will it look like? Can you make it pretty?” It would be a great conversation starter.

“It’s the Ministry, Bertha. There is no threatening them through charms and wits. And frankly, if that were possible, then the four of them won’t be threatening.”  Bertram crossed his arms, petulant. “ At all.” It was sad that none of the four friends was nearby to hear that. He was sure that he just delivered some sick burns.  “I mean… How can you assure me, Bertha? Everyone’s talking about it… And it doesn’t look like the professors are dispelling any rumours so… how can you be sure that they didn’t?”

Bertram pushed aside his feelings of frustrations and irritation for a second and really looked at Bertha. He hoped that the gravity of the situation would finally dawn on her. “Listen, Bertha, I think you should stay away from them… indefinitely.” If he had it his way, Bertha would have nothing to do with Potter and Black’s gang at all but he had no doubt that she would protest.

"You think the Ministry doesn’t lie Berty? Everybody lies,” a shadow passed over her face for a moment, remembering something unpleasant. There was lots of room for betrayals and cheating in life and that’s why it was up to her to put everything straight. To make sure the truth or truths would come to light. “They have plenty of charm! They’re so dreamy... and kind. James was very nice and supportive of me at the Yule Ball.” She was starting to get frustrated, stomping her foot on the ground. “It’s not true! Bertram, it can’t be! They’re not those types of people and the professors are probably just busy.”

It was ridiculous that anyone would be able to think the boys could do something so horrid. So loathsome. “You’re taking things too far.” It wasn’t funny anymore and while she’d usually be dramatic and shrieking, the things that Bertram was saying we’re crossing a line. It was like something inside of her was coming close to snapping and she could feel the deathly calm and disappointment raging inside of her. “They are not dangerous and you can’t tell me to turn my back on them.”

“Oh, complimenting them is the least I could do.” Gilderoy smiled at her in a way that both said that she didn’t have to tell him that he’s sweet but also that he was deeply flattered just the same. “Oh, Bertha.” Gilderoy playfully rolled his eyes as if he couldn’t stand to hear another compliment. “You’re always after my own heart. I didn’t spend two hours grooming this morning.” He let out a rather thin laugh. “I’m kidding, of course. It only took me an hour and a half.”

“I don’t doubt that you would, Bertha. But sadly, they don’t give me free meals. They don’t even recognize me.” A sad smile was on his lips. At least, Gilderoy thought, not yet. All he really has to do is finally get on with his plan on creating a Philosopher’s Stone before leaving Hogwarts. Surely with his wits and his talent, it wouldn’t be that difficult. And then, people would know.

“I hope I’m winning,” she joked, a rare thing for her. While she was always playful and sweet most things that came out of her mouth were honest truths and she didn’t find herself teasing others very much. She tried to live her life as an honest person and that was the best she could do. “You can tell, you usually look impeccable but there’s a little extra something today. Must be all the rest you got over break! They say beauty sleep is important.”

She gasped in shock at his next words, amazed that no one would do favors for someone as handsome and dreamy as Gilderoy Lockhart. She knew people weren’t supposed to give out free food but how could they help themselves when looking at him! “That’s a shame, but I’m sure you’ll have them regretting that soon enough. We just need to get out of the castle, then your fame will surely spread!”

Location: The Great Hall Tagged: @berthjorkins​

There wasn’t exactly any point in time Charity could remember when she decided to avoid Bertha Jorkins. Maybe it was overhearing her gossip and not wanting to hear what someone else was saying about her, especially after the day blood traitor was whispered audibly behind her back her first year at Hogwarts. But she’d been vouched for, and Charity wasn’t sure why Ludo’s opinion in particular stood out to her, but here she was giving Bertha the chance she deserved. Wouldn’t she want the same?

“I think you’re jealous of how many friends she has, even if she is a gossiping hen.” Guilt and envy, what a combination. 

“Jorkins–” She’d referred to Bertha by her first name with Ludo, but it felt more comfortable being formal. “Erm.” Okay, this was her attempt, right? Over and done? Baby steps? “Thoughts on…what’s been going on? Your true perspective, not just what you’ve heard.” Unfair, really. “…if you want, anyway.”

Bertha really had no opinion of Charity. She seemed nice enough, and Bertha herself hadn’t heard anything bad about the girl but she wasn’t one that she bumped into often. No, Bertha herself was often fluttering about the Gryffindors or hanging around the seventh-years. She was always on the trail of a wonderful story but even wonderful story hunted needed some breaks. So Bertha was at the Hufflepuff table, eating a nice little sandwich she had made herself and smiling happily. All the seats beside her were left empty, leaving plenty of room for Charity herself to walk right up to her and start a conversation.

“Charity!” she beamed up at her dormmate.  “Well,” she paused to think. “I guess I’d have to say that all this Death Eater stuff is a bunch of nonsense. There’s no way the four of them would ever do that! Ridiculous.” She wasn’t exactly sure how she felt about the information she’d gotten from her dad but if he’d told her it must be true right? Certainly, everyone else seemed to think so as well. “The illegal circus seems the most likely. Something plausible enough they would do but I still don’t think they’d take it that far. The Ministry’s just scared of how creative their minds work. Everyone’s scared of people who do things differently, those with creative minds.”

It was both a relief and a disappointment to find Bertha in the same boat as her. A relief because perhaps whatever was happening just meant that Peter couldn’t get in touch with her and not that he didn’t want to. Disappointment because she was still in the dark and because there was no reassurance in the silence that the rumours were false. “No. Nothing at all.” She wrapped her arms around her body, wishing it was as easy as Bertha made it sound to not let it get to her.

“An… An illegal circus? Oh.” That was very different to the story she had heard but Bertha tended to know these things. “I don’t actually know if that’s better or worse than what I heard.” At least it didn’t have any Death Eater connections but all she’d heard was that Peter had cast the Dark Mark, and the Dark Mark alone was just a picture in the sky, not something that could hurt anybody on its own. Circuses could. She had heard stories of the animals being horribly mistreated. She frowned and shook her head. What was she even thinking? “No, I do. It’s definitely better, but– Are you sure?” She couldn’t see why the Aurors would have questioned her about the Yule Ball if that was all they had been accused of.

Brie seemed sad, which made Bertha sad. They weren’t exactly friends but Brie had always been one of the kinder ones to Bertha and though she usually the Hufflepuff was blissfully unaware of how others treated her, she knew Brie treated her well. It had been so heartwarming to see Peter blush and gush about Brianne that Bertha just wanted everything to go perfectly for them! People trying to destroy the Marauder’s name was less than perfect.

“Remus also told me that they wanted Nessy and the Giant Squid to fight but I think he was being a jokester. The rest of the rumors, I wouldn’t believe them. People just love picking on those who are easy to pick on.” It was an unexpected truth that came from her lips, perhaps spread on by her thoughts of how amazing Brie was towards everyone. “It’s just information I’ve overheard but they’re being awfully tight-lipped about it all. Wouldn’t be surprised if new information comes out soon!”

“A love potion,” he repeated, monotone. Merlin, this girl was insufferable. Since she had the audacity to interrupt his reading, she could have at least asked him about something interesting, but no - here he was, having to use his precious brain cells to talk about the most useless type of potion out there.

Severus let out a breath and ran a hand through his long hair. “Yes, I’ve made them before. They’re illegal to use in most circumstances, and yet they’re in our curriculum…” He looked over at her, dark eyes boring holes into her perky countenance, and imagined several creative ways to kill her as he continued talking. “Boys and girls have cooties. So, how much are you willing to pay me to make the potion?”

Illegal. While she already knew that she still gasped at the word, horrified that she would get into trouble for anything. While Bertha was noisy, sneaky, and generally annoying she shuddered at the thought of doing anything intentionally bad. She knew the difference between right and wrong... sometimes. “So you could make a legal one for me if you wanted? What’s usually the price for this type of thing.”