Berry's Journals

Never seen this kind of clouds for a long time, billowing, dancing and reflecting sunlights. It's like childhood where everything was light, pure, full of hope and promises of great future. Their movements reflecting a child's exuberance for great unknown, their hearts following what the eyes sees. If only things like these and childhood can last forever, maybe it would be a great thing. 🍀 04.09.2022 https://www.instagram.com/p/CiEw-fmrgJTPNpgGLPaiMRMptPcSdczxOt91X40/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Some people will rewrite your story because it would serve them well. The truth will always have 3 sides, your truth, their truth and the real truth. Who will know the real truth? To find the truth feels like difficult and challenging but on the other hand, why bother knowing the truth? People will always judge you, you will always put yourself down. Even if there's no truth, I hope you will have a home that even you are fake as some people tells you, even if they call you names and even if they cancel you, you'll still feel okay, even just a bit comfortable. I hope to find someone or something that makes me feel I am home. https://www.instagram.com/p/CU9oLsRvDfi/?utm_medium=tumblr

For many things that happened We are at war within ourselves. https://www.instagram.com/p/CPvGozlLLhN/?utm_medium=tumblr

People break people. People build people. Hurt people hurt other people. Happy people bring light and joy to others. Could it be we are at war within ourselves? Not to other people, but within us. #words #thoughts #wanderingberries #love #family #relationships #friendships #becoming https://www.instagram.com/p/CLiHnRuABYO/?igshid=1g22ik94hkfuf

I want to be free I want to be a clean canvass I want to be free. 🥀🍀 #ramblings #words#thoughts #poetry #prose #relationships #quotes #life #motivation #friendship #life #journey #becoming #writingcommunity #writers_den_ #writingcommunityofinstagram #writersnetwork https://www.instagram.com/p/CIv9ySUg6cl/?igshid=1v49rk96dk9ah

And be aware too that the same things will be said to you. The very exact words. The very exact telling words. And there goes the never ending story. https://www.instagram.com/p/CF58gIPAg3R/?igshid=1x7b3i2sjtafp

And be aware too that the same things will be said to you. The very exact words. The very exact telling words. And there goes the never ending story. https://www.instagram.com/p/CF58W9IAVBO/?igshid=1ts9a8lwij2ht

🐾🍀Mayhap there are reasons why I don't see the stars sometimes and there are nights that I see them in glittering clusters and dancing lights like now. Mayhap, 'twas my blurred vision. Mayhap,' tis the blinding and colored light. Whatever it is. Whatever shall be. It's now that I should be looking for. 🍀🐾 https://www.instagram.com/p/B_Zv_LAg71d/?igshid=ckwrouk4f7fh

Your heart is full of scars. And yet, it is the strongest and softest thing in the world. https://www.instagram.com/p/B_MnIlZgJR3/?igshid=1ty4g05l88r6x

🍀🐾You're older now and thinking nothing can be changed. You've been living like this for how many sunrises and sunsets now. Be it dawn, dusk or the moonlight, you began to wonder about the things that you've been doing right now. Like one day you slowly opened your lethargic eyes and nonchalantly made your way to your bathroom mirror to began your daily routine and suddenly you realized that you are not young anymore. Sometimes life just loves to give you a good kick in the gut that you can't even escape from the blow. Your eyes wide as you stared. Aye, you're older now. Funny, you ain't feeling your age. Funny. Because you know it will soon creep in. Just like shadows that ran like a theif in the night. You smile to make it a little lighter. Then, you began looking around you. A little fear tugging at the corners of your heart because what you see is not what you dreamt of when you were in gradeschool. Funny, life gives you so many sideturns that you have forgotten that you're on a journey. You just went along with it and contented on your daily survival. Aye, you still have your dreams. You still carry it within you eventhough you have forgotten it. Because, priorities first! You focused on your battle with survival or nonsensical things that you forgot to work on your dreams. And now, you're older and start saying to yourself, "well you're older now. It's not a matter of choosing your right path but now is a matter of accepting what has given to you." You look yourself in the mirror, looking deep in those eyes you see how you were in your youth. Many follies, many scars, many many things in between black and white. Well, what can you expect? You're a very flawed person anyway. Funny, how things turned out from your imagined rainbows and colors in someways. You turn your back, escaped and made your way back to sleep. Aye, sleeping can give you comfort from this gnawing sense of unease. You see with your eyes but you feel something is about to collapse. And you start to dream again.  Maybe, just maybe....now is the time. Just maybe, this is the right time...to just dare to win. https://www.instagram.com/p/B_JksN-AoFC/?igshid=9pj1y3thmeza

🐾🍀 I heard you talking and a smile appeared on my face. You were saying words that are meant to take it all away. The sadness, the loneliness, the craziness, the despair of being locked up in a four-squared box that gobbled up most of my vitality. And there's this blackness of my human emotions as I contemplated the inadequancy of my world to par with this nonsensical play of what is right and wrong, on how to live life and keep on living. How basic is that? I have tons of nights and days and I can't seem it figure it out.  I knew you meant well. I believe it with my heart. You must be thinking, there you go again getting crazy once again. And I was. For days I went mad and wallow in silence. I went on my escape journey and tried to find my saving grace to wake me up. And there you were, after days of hesitating and mulling, the curiosity won over pride. You asked me and said things that you thought would make me happy. They did.  But, why does your words won't reach me so?  Why does they feel empty and they died before they can reach the gates of Hades? They got frozen and shattered into little bit of pieces just like my mind was when it got broken a million times before. It was eons ago and I got better after that. I should be handling it better than I was. But, why does it feel like Persephone with cornucopia and a sick feeling on my empty stomach. I was very hungry but I can't seem to find the will to get up and ran. I knew I needed to get up but these sadness are keeping me at bay. And I don't even know where it came from by the way. I heard you talking and a sad smile appeared on my face. If only words can hug you when you needed one. If only words can wipe your tears when you can't seem to stop crying. If only words can force you to get up from the bed that you can't seem to leave. If only words can hear you shout blasphemies and answer you back with a more meaner one. If only words can hear your jokes and laughed at their nonsense. If only words can make you feel like you're not alone. If only your words can make me feel that you are actually here on my side. That would be lovely, isnt? 🐾🐾🐾🐾continuation on the comments👇 🐾🐾🐾🐾 https://www.instagram.com/p/B-28lX6AL2D/?igshid=yxpl4sny1ssw

🐾🍀I looked up in the sky and had a vision of a fallen angel descending down like a bolt of lighting created from Thor's hammer. And my eyes started to bleed and recited a creed that took me a hundred year's past just to make sure that the angel dont slid in Hephaestus' reed.  And while watching in numbing silence and through the mist of blinding blackness my heart started to ache. I am hurting I know. 'Tis physical, mental and emotional. I am almost glad when the rain fell because the raindrops hid the tears from my eyes so well, even though they weight you down and help you fall faster than a black sin. I watched in fixated silence as droplets of waters slowly rolled down across the windowpane. My brows furrowed as I saw their downward progress, just like that fallen angel, just like my wayward thoughts and complicated heart. I never knew how it happend nor understand why it should happen. These complicated things that are marring my soul. I could only say that they made me aware. My eyes clearer even through the maze of tears, my emotions steadied even through the wild stacatto of myriad voices. The unwelcome realization came in. Funny because one thing I discovered, even though I am falling to the pits of hell, the gates opening to greet me with sickening gladness and eternal voidness, I still think about you and what might happen to you. I am worried. I am disheartened. Like I am here to disappoint myself again and again. But here I am asking myself on how will you be without me at your side? Funny, because I have a lot of things to think about and I have a lot of emotions to go through with that. And still here I am thinking about you and how will you be. I should rush to save the falling angel, a cavalry in winged, down-trodden horse. I should be wiping the rolling droplets of water to avoid their marks that will further mar the soul. But, here I am still thinking that I must really love you  to have these kinds of pain for my self, and my heart is still rooting for yours. I must have really love you, even through the mist of darkness. I must really cared about you beyond the silence and deception that are coming forth within myself. 🌠🐾🍀 The cont. 👇 https://www.instagram.com/p/B-v3wAyA_jw/?igshid=1vhic023pi5po

🍀🌠 Its all about the moon last night tinge with pink hues. It gives out color that radiates possibilities and give out a new idea to me that everything is transitory. No one and nothing could really be as eternal as this giant work of nature. And you will realize that no matter how hard you work for it and no matter how the wishing and the daydreaming even at night, there will be times that things could lead you to a different walk path. What you are right now will not be permanent. You could be different like her, the moon even after the countless times of being as normal as she was every night in her moon cycles. But thats the greatest thing. You could be fluid and elemental like this moon. And you have the power that can change your circumstance, you have the power to be in a different circumference. Just find the light that will guide you where you want to be and follow the brightest path where you will be at your happiest, calmness and safest. 🐾 #wanderingberries #berryjournals #love #light #moon #courage #bravery #wisdom #possibility #courage #family #friendships #relationships #bravery #thoughts #superpinkmoon #awakening #becoming https://www.instagram.com/p/B-tmDi7At-Z/?igshid=wf1j2c8n6m79

🐾🍀The moon is different tonight. Her color bright and passionate like Venus in a lover's tryst under the gazebo just before the skylight. Her shining light reflecting in the ocean below. Mirroring the beauty of her eternal soul far beyond reach amidst our mortal sorrow. Stars hidden by her glaring light, must be crying because they are out of our sight. The clouds are scampering everywhere but near her like nowhere. Not attempting to match her glorious beauty nor draw the mist over her passion. Aye, she is different tonight. Just like the earth's sky in myriad color during the sunsets. Ordinary days but you suddenly feel different. She is the same but with different vibrance and variance. Some may feel in awe, some may feel afraid and some may think that this could be an omen for something like death and rebirth. But, you have to see that she is the moon like no other. She maybe different somehow but she is the same. You might have different thoughts and different emotions but you must remember, she is the same moon as she was to you some days ago. Whatever that maybe. Whatever that is. #moon #shadows #moonlight #grace #love #light #family #sorrows #relationships #friendships #nature #night #stars #venus #wanderingberries #berrysjournals #ramblings #courage #bravery #resilience https://www.instagram.com/p/B-nO2lkAFEy/?igshid=1ckkxic5as2yi

Be a giver. https://www.instagram.com/p/B-btkICA3ZX/?igshid=6duave5k8gs7

🐾🍀Outside the hospital, it's like a ghostown. You cannot see any soul that lurks, you can heard any sounds that surfs. No one was there. Nothing was even present. But when I get inside the hospital. It's like hell. A living hell of sadness where pain, suffering and sadness are abound. I am a novice and I have so little experience about life and death. I am not even sure if I have started living my life as of date. I came in with my youth and inexperience, fighting the horror and sadness of seeing people's lives wasting away because of this disease. Unable to do anything but to lend my little hand, smiling for the golden opportune time as I see the grateful faces of every overworked doctors, nurses and medical staffs. The kind words and tearful faces of the patients I've worked with. I've been a witness of the valiant hearts of some people that wants to sacrifice their lives for the younger generation. "If you get to choose between me and a younger person choose him/her, intubate him." He said. And it just broke my heart.  This disease is killing people with insurmountable ease. I am not even sure how could I and my collegues function with ease. All I remember is my father encouraging me to volunteer even with the knowledge that I could be kissing with the disease. "You have the capability to help. Lend a hand." He said. So here I am. And even though my heart was filled with sadness and horror. Even though my mind was filled with fear that one day I might be the one who's lying on the hospital bed fighting for my life, all I can think is to lend a hand. You get in everyday, trying to help. No one cares if you make a mistake or if you're afraid. You do what you can and help in any way that you can. Fueled with grateful words from everyone in the hospital, crying with the tears on every patient's eyes. Your heart breaking each time you learnt that someone you talked to earlier was now intubated or worse, claimed by the god of death itself. It seems like this disease is going nowhere but you know you have to keep fighting anyway. Cont. in coments 👇 https://www.instagram.com/p/B-TaVtgBImk/?igshid=1o4hklppenaef