online diary

overslept and had a short dream where i had a boyfriend and was in an apartment with a magical sphinx-like being that offered a one-time temporary shapeshifting magic (for funzies). my boyfriend and i were discussing what we wanted to change into, and he basically said 'whatever we do i want to fuck'. i had a literal thought process in my dream going through what he would choose to be (it was either the vampire armand, an eldritch horror, or me). we closed are eyes and envisioned what we would be. i chose to stay the same but my boyfriend turned into me. we then had some great sex and i woke up perturbed.

my cousins boyfriend is moving in with her (he's unemployed) and my parents are lecturing my sister and i about not being dumb and in love. i said i don't like people enough for that and my dad replied with something along the lines of 'yeah you've got different issues'. fascinating outside perspective. don't know if he's right yet.

danced with this guy for two songs back to back and he's literally my type and he's SO GOOD AT BACHATA like he's got FLAIR and we're talking and it's GREAT but i DONT GET HIS NUMBER only his NAME (fitney (?)) and now im never gonna see him again because im leaving town in five days and won't be back for a month FUCK MY LIFEEEE

girl with a sign reading 'kiss me if you're a hot masc' came up to me, asked if i was single, made out with me, and said i was really pretty. she was a junior (unfortunately) but she had glitter on her face and really pretty eyes. i was four (?) drinks in and it was the best kiss ive had yet. i actually felt good afterwards. need that to happen again.

had a dream last night where a man with a tiny dick made me take it up the ass. among other things. still don't know if it was rape or not but i felt terrible when i woke up and only remembered what happened in the middle of nude figure drawing in art class. feeling a bit undone right now

running on five hours of sleep, a body that periodically attacks me with crippling mental and bodily pain, frozen ankles, a hope, and a dream

drunk. did NOT mentionmy ex to the hot girl at the party. this is fun n . Things are looking up. hate valentine's day

there are new cuts on my thighs and for the first time i truly don't know where they came from