assume people are trying their best, want to be good and treat others well, and that when their behavior doesn’t align with those goals, it’s because of outside factors that are pushing them to their limit

i have a patron who is mean as a snake. won’t respond when you greet her, barks orders at you, and is generally nasty

i couldn’t stand her & dreaded the moment she walked in the door, until i stopped one day & went “wow, to walk around feeling unhappy enough to treat people so horribly every day. what a difficult way to live.”

and so my tactics changed. i made a point to be extra kind & friendly to her. she changed her hair color one day & when i complimented her on it, she was very caught off guard & said “oh, thank you. my whole life i’ve thought i was ugly.”

now we’re at the point where she shows me pictures of watercolor paintings she made & says hi when she walks in the door. she’s not my favorite patron, but she’s perfectly okay. most unpleasant people aren’t inherently rotten, they’re just unhappy & coping with it poorly

Like, one family makes their toddler sit on the stairs for three minutes when he hits his brother or whatever. The stairs are well lit and he can see his family the whole time, he’s just not allowed to get up and leave the stairs or the timer starts over. He fucking hates it just because it’s framed as a punishment.

Another family use a baseball cap. It’s just a plain blue cap with nothing on it. When their toddler needs discipline he gets a timeout on a chair and has to put the cap on. When they’re out and about he just has to wear the cap but it gets the same reaction. Nobody around them can tell he’s being punished because it’s in no way an embarrassing cap, but HE knows and just the threat of having to wear it is enough.

se replier - withdraw, retreat

se peloter - to make out

datant de - dating from, dating back to

broncher - to stumble

le paroxysme - peak, climax

rechigner - to be reluctant

revendiquer - to claim, demand

étouffer - to suffocate, to stifle

la poignée - handle

le clochard - tramp, vagrant

vexer - to offend

déchiré par endroits - torn in some places

l'épaisse semelle - thick sole

la nuque - neck

loucher - squint

le raccourci - shortcut

la bretelle d'accès - slip road

freiner - to slow, to brake

en trombe - in a hurry, in a flash

l'emballage - packaging

l'échine - spine

être en manque - suffer from withdrawal

se renfrogner - to frown, to scowl

émousser - to blunt, to dull

ivre - drunk

siffler - whistle, hiss

"Old friend" (maybe even lovers once)

"Old friend" (you say it so softly with too much knowing in your voice.)

"Old friend" (who left first? I dont remember now)

"Old friend" (the only thing i do remember)

"Old friend" (is that love doesnt really die)