DON'T LET ME DIE IN THE VALLEY

Any time I do this kind of flex I always think about the one scene from SpongeBob where Kevin the Sea Cucumber tells him to punch himself in the face, asking, "doesn't that hurt you?" when he does and SpongeBob goes, "Do you want it to hurt me, Kevin?" Happy with how silly things are looking. I still have a bit of a tummy to play around with but she's getting there. Kind of just happy in general. It's a little weird! Been consciously choosing happiness for so long after feeling such miserable lows for a few years that being in a good place, being legitimately happy even if things aren't entirely ideal is kind of strange but welcomed. I'm happy, though subsequently I still keep gripping the steering wheel a little too hard and feeling like I'm going to cave in on myself before letting out a frustrated bark. That's normal, right? It has to be normal. I'm not sure how I'll feel if it's not normal. Now that Tumblr has decided to move drafts into a more obtrusive area, I was going through them and deleting a few and ran across one I suppose I never posted from somewhat around this time last year. I got probably way too vulnerable and shared it with the friends I was mentioning in the post. They're still here, they're still supportive, I can't believe I've gotten so lucky. I have since had my own oven fire caused by my roommate and met other people who indulge me, who I care about deeply. I'm so constantly bombarded with reminders that people care lately that, god, how the fuck am I supposed to deal with this? I don't know. I don't know if anyone really knows. It's not a bad thing. Far from it. I just don't know how to process anything but it's still not a bad thing.