belligerence and chocolate

Well, it’s been a bit more difficult to keep blogging on this trip than I had anticipated. For one thing I don’t have access to the computer during the day, and for another I’m not sure what to write about...

We’ve been in Europe (mostly Germany) for about two months now. Like Ruth, I have a slight cold, but am well.*

I’m always at a loss when friends and acquaintances ask what I’ve been up to here... It’s like Pinky and the Brain: Same thing we do every night. I’ve been keeping everyone fed and clothed and tending the small humans and supporting the larger one. I’ve been nursing the baby A LOT, she’s enormous and at 6 months, has decided that sleep is for chumps. I’ve been dealing with the emotional state of a two and a half year old, who (while he loves trains) has decided that moving around every few weeks is pretty annoying and wants stability. I’ve managed to convince my big boy to indulge in daily “nesting” which is cooler than resting, because it involves more pillows and magazines. This is a great parenting win.

But we’ve also gone up historic windmills, visited a “big pink cathedral with spirals”**, visited several fantastic museums, taken a cruise on the Rhine, as well as countless trips on various incarnations of public transport, eaten more boxed cookies than a mindful housekeeper should allow***, explored beautiful natural parks, seen a bit of the Berlin Wall Way, eaten enormous Dutch pancakes. These are not the usual things. These are very special things. We are enjoying them, but they’re hard to process in the midst of all the laundry and cooking and grocery shopping and making sure the children get a daily airing. 

Perhaps I could focus on writing about our daily life here and maybe do some playground reviews? The playgrounds are truly epic. Magnificent. I would move to Germany just for the playgrounds (and the bakeries). In the meantime, I may as well blog about them though. Writing does make me feel a bit more sane.

We’re not on holiday, but it’s not quite life as usual. We’re not expats, but we’re definitely not locals. I don’t speak German, and I really wish someone could convince my son of this fact... Or just teach him to use Google Translate. That would work too.

Love, Belligerence&Chocolate

*And I think I am a fine woman and that IS my candid opinion.

** The Dom in Mainz is made from lovely local pink stone with fossils in it. Xavier thinks this is the coolest thing.

Sunday started well and ended with me curled up in a ball on the couch, horribly sick. Monday the kids joined in on the fun... needless to say, it’s been mostly {real} around here.

But let’s not let that get us down, shall we?

February and March are (oddly enough) the prettiest time here. I’ve always disliked this time of year everywhere else, but in Victoria, it’s high spring. Pink and white trees and daffodils and daisies all over the grass.

Sick days are nice for nesting at home though, and watching the sibling bond grow is endearing and amusing. (The book by the by is The Umbrella  by Ingrid and Deiter Schubert and is a beautiful wordless picture book about a little dog that flies around the world on his red umbrella. The illustrations are detailed and colourful and just generally stunning. A lot for toddlers - and adults! - to notice and talk about.)

Well I think that’s about it for today - the kids are still a bit sick and having trouble going to sleep... Blogger, out. Mommy, in. Go forth and read more at LMLD.

Home. This is something I’ve been pondering often and long lately. I have a few more posts on the subject wandering in my head. Lets start with the start though.

My parents have a sign on the inside of their door. A sign I scribbled in green highlighter on a piece of scrap paper that has moved with them to 4 different doors now. “Caution: The real world lies beyond this door.” * I think it stuck because it’s profoundly true. A home is a little bubble of an alternate reality. My parents’ home was a wonderful one too. Teenagers wandering in and an out, chatting with friends of siblings, siblings of friends, and yes, even parents. Memory is odd - most of my childhood memories of home are outdoors. Most of my young adult memories of home are indoors. Sitting on the kitchen counter while Dad did dishes. Watching Jane Austen movies with Mom. Hiding out in the back forty to play N64 with the siblings. Lying on the floor talking about our feelings with friends. Cooking. Making up desserts. Reading PG Wodehouse aloud to each other. Singing Gilbert and Sullivan. Building things out of lego, k’nex, papier maché, duct tape, clay... pretty much anything. Burning all my highschool notes in the fireplace one Christmas. Snuggling on the couch with the love of my life. It was a safe place. For all of us. Everyone’s friends came to our house. It was fun. I hope as the kids get older, we’ll be the neighbourhood hangout spot. And I hope that when they’re teens and older, they still feel safe and happy bringing people over.

I mean really - who wouldn’t feel safe around these guys?

Love, Belligerence&Chocolate

February. Wet. Grey. Rainy.Misty. Windy.February. It’s the kind of month that needs saving. While we have excellent intentions about spending lots of time outside, it’s not always possible to get our Charlotte Mason approved quota. But we’ve got books to the rescue, so Miss Mason will probably let this one slide...

Audiobooks (oldschool, on cassettes!) -  With an (extremely) active 2 and a half year old and a (frequent) on-demand nursling, you’ve just got to have something to slow that big kid down... And he loves stories. My parents came over with our old Disney Book-on-tape box and he very quickly got the hang of turning the page at the bell sound and rewinding and pressing play again to start over. Only downside, I’ve heard the story of Robin Hood about 5 times a day (sometimes more) for the last week.

Reading aloud (even more oldschool!) - When I’m sick of Robin Hood and the tiny one is in a focused state of mind (read: not trying to kick off her socks while nursing) we read The Secret Garden (en français, s’il vous plait). As a result, all songbirds are now deemed to be robins. But jokes aside, Xavier loves it and seems to be following the story much more than I had anticipated.

“Storytime” -  Storytime is wonderful though. Kyle has been reading LotR to me (and Alix), just before bed. It’s pretty wonderful. We’re at the bit where Boromir tries to take the ring.  Exciting times, but I keep falling asleep. (Relationship tip: marry someone with a soothing voice who will read you stories.)

Tea-time - Sometimes it’s all fancy with hot drinks and poems, sometimes it’s just sitting down and eating something. But either way, that 4pm snack keeps everyone sane. Toddler meltdowns are avoided, Mommy meltdowns are avoided, and if the baby decides to need food NOW halfway through the subsequent dinner prep, nobody starves. The poems are fun though, so we try and do that too.

Having a set bedtime - I’m not always on the ball about it, but just having that idea in my head that I should be going to bed at a certain time makes me start getting twitchy when I’m up too late, resulting in more sleep. And really, when you’ve got someone reading to you in bed, why wouldn’t you want to get there earlier? 

Love, Belligerence&Chocolate

{p,h,f,r} We got shelves! Though not as many as we’d like.

Kyle and I love books (as does Xavier for that matter), but we have little space in our current home and are rather the opposite of permanently settled... Grad school and (hopefully) post-docs do not keep you in one place for long. As a result, we’re working on distilling our collection to things that we absolutely love and that we want to move with us. In a perfect world we’d both just be hoarding all the interesting books we could lay our hands on and collecting bookshelves. But in the meantime, we’ve got things to read and are taking advantage of trades with friends, public libraries and finding beautiful editions of favourite books.

So there you have them. Pretty much all of our books. Make sure to read the captions on each photo.

Love, Belligerence&Chocolate.

So, I swear I’ve been writing an interesting or inspiring or funny thing to share here in my head once a week or so, but somehow between nursing a tiny one, navigating the emotions of a slightly bigger one, having company and trying to spend time with my husband and keep us all fed and clothed, I’m a bit too tired and brain-dead to get the words down (or up? because screen? because uploading? The internet is a confusing state of things.) As a result, today, you get a list. Of books. That I will read. Probably. And tell you about later. Hopefully. That work for everyone?

But honestly, I’ve considered any number of reading challenges in the past, but am usually too whimsical in my reading habits to decide  to commit to one. Anne at Modern Mrs. Darcy has some categories that lend themselves to whimsy though, so I’m jumping on that bandwagon before it sails and mixing metaphors like cocktails.

Belligerent, Chocolaty, Tentative and incomplete list for the 2016 Reading Challenge

A book published this year - Present over Perfect (Shauna Niequist) This is coming out right before my birthday, and I have enjoyed the bits of her writing that I have read. I’m excited.

A book you can finish in a day - I’ll know it when I see it. (Or it’ll just happen because I firmly believe in curing the common cold by reading ALL DAY.)

A book you’ve been meaning to read - The Wind in the Willows (Kenneth Grahame) I’ve recently been given the complete animated series on DVD and remembered how much I loved it as a kid, but have never read the novel.

A book recommended by your local librarian or bookseller - I’ll have to get on that, I’m going to Russel Books this week and maybe I can get a recommendation.

A book you should have read in school - The Canterbury Tales (Chaucer) I’ve read only the ones we were required, because that term was crazy for reading assignments, but I really want to read all of it.

A book chosen for you by your spouse, partner, sibling, child, or BFF - I read MANY books chosen by my child, but those don’t really count. So we’ll go with The Lies of Locke Lamora (Scott Lynch) recommended by a good friend and confirmed by my husband.

A book published before you were born - Something Fresh (P.G. Wodehouse) I’ve read or been read this before, but it was a long time ago and I was lately reminded of how hilarious Wodehouse is. His works were popular read-alouds on family holidays when we were in our teens. We’d switch readers when whoever was reading previously was unable to continue through his/her own laughter.

A book that was banned at some point - Candide (Voltaire) I am rather fond of Rousseau (though I distrust an author who doesn’t think children should read books) so reading his rival should be fun.

A book you previously abandoned - Anna Karenina (Tolstoy) I’ve abandoned this book in both official languages and a total of 3 translations, but a friend recommended a particular version she loved, so I’ll try that. Russian is hard to translate apparently.

A book you own but have never read - Monsieur Malaussène (Daniel Pennac) Because, I kind of forgot that I bought it the last time we were in Ottawa, and I found it on my shelf the other day. I have absolutely loved this series so far.

A book that intimidates you - The Catechism of the Catholic Church. May as well be ambitious. I have read bits and pieces over the years, but I really want to read the whole thing.

A book you've already read at least once - The Secret Garden (F.H. Burnett) [in Frensh translation] I am currently reading this aloud to my book-crazy toddler. He loves it and seems to be following the story better than I had anticipated. Gardens and robins and secrets and magic... A perfect story.

Well that should do I think. For a start. It’s nice to have a plan.

{Pretty, Happy, Funny, Real} Happy Bloggy New Year!!

It’s been quiet over here for almost two months, but well... Baby! Baptism! Advent! Christmas! Family cold! New Years! Epiphany! Yup, I think that sums it up quite well actually. I have missed writing here though. There has been some instagram action, and also I’ve picked up my journal again (I had misplaced it some months ago and it’s just turned up.) These are both good things and fun to do, but I guess I like having the thoughts and pictures together. The blog also encourages me to keep my topic a bit more focused than when journaling. (Not that it’s always a success.)

All this to say that while I’m normally rather in the anti-new-year’s-resolution camp, I’m going to make one this year. I want to blog once a week. That seems reasonable. I checked. Even with the new baby around, we’re all clothed and fed. So here’s to a pretty, happy, funny, real 2016!  And go check things out at LMLD!

Love,

“I can’t wait to meet you, little one!”

This is what all my friends have been saying, and after a few weeks of consciously avoiding most social interaction outside my little family circle, I’ve seen many people this week. The introvert is not protesting too hard. It helps that when you’re 39+ weeks pregnant and just sit and stare into space, nobody really questions it. It also helps that I got to go out with my favourite other person, one on one, earlier this week. A rare, but always delightful experience. It’s nice sometimes to remember that we really like each other, a lot. Love and respect each other, make a great team, help each other out, all these things, yes, always. But we also just like to hang out together and be silly. And sometimes that seems to fall by the wayside with all the craziness. Right now we’re waiting together for another tiny person to come and hang out in our crazy little world. I can wait, because I need to. Because I’m praying for patience in my waiting. Because we have friends and family who care for us and will be around for us. It’s odd and wonderful to have a little community. I’ve felt really blessed this last week, in spite of the reflux and discomfort and lack of more than 4 continuous hours of sleep. It’s an odd place to be, here at the end of pregnancy. I want it to be over, so that I can lie down on my back again and maybe not feel out of breath if I walk faster than a slow wander... But the reality of being a family of 4 (as opposed to 3 - including one very large with limited mobility) is daunting as well as exciting. So I’m relishing these last few days/weeks (and trying not to ignore the laundry too much, because there’ll be more than enough of that to go around with a newborn).

This feels sort of rambling and uninspiring, but I’m posting it anyway. If you want to know why, Christy made me do it.

Love, Belligerence&Chocolate

Well it’s been a few weeks, but I’m back. I think I bit off a bit more than I could chew with the writing challenge last month (especially with the pregnancy and an extremely two year old). It was good to write again though, so I’ll be keeping it up. Just not every day.

I think there’s been a good bit of introspection going on in the past few weeks (third trimester insomnia will do that to you...), and I’ve been coming to terms with/once again reminded of a few things that are true about me. List time? I think so.

Some things that are true (if not always good and beautiful)

I love starting new projects, but keeping it up is... challenging. I have noticed though, that I tend to eventually revisit things and often even complete them. It can take time though. Sometimes years. I’m not  sure it’s a bad thing when there’s no looming deadline. It’s kind of fun to have fingers in all the pies...

I need to make lists - and to be frank, I enjoy it immensely. The box ticking is nice, but it’s not even that really... It’s just getting stuff out of my head and unto an unsuspecting piece of carbon based something (or you know, one of my list books, which are probably suspecting something by now). It’s wonderfully freeing really. Amusingly enough, the small human seems to think that all I write is grocery lists, so now he wants to write grocery lists all the time too.

Personality research fascinates me, and kind of scares me too, so I’m really hesitant to get into it. I guess it’s a spin off of my lifelong fascination with how humans learn things. My MBTI is INFP and while reading descriptions of my type makes me want to just burst into joyful cries of “THEY GET ME!!!” I’m also highly suspicious of anyone or anything trying to rigidly define me. So that’s a mess, but it’s a fun one. Kyle, of course, is blatantly uninterested by any of this, but he seems like he’s got a pretty good grasp on his own inner life, so I guess he’s allowed.

My feelings are water-soluble, and apparently need to be soaked thoroughly in a saline solution before exiting my body. Annoyingly. Still. Likely always. And crying gives me headaches. So does stress from unexpressed feelings. But hey, I feel better after a good cry, so why not just go for it? (Answer: red, blotchy, puffy face, brilliant green eyes that go away after the contrast with the face dies down, headache the next day.)

I like pretty numbers. 5 is prettier than 4 so i just made up this last bit.

Love,

Days that turn out better than anticipated... Days like today.

We got off to a slow start and would’ve been late to mass... but there were some long announcements, so we were on time.

I felt like a fancy brunch but didn’t want to make it or spend money on going out... but Kyle felt like making delicious BLTs with all the extra stuff you can think of: avocado, eggs, cheese, what do you even call that? BELTAC? Delicious anyway.

My cake recipe called for a 12 cup bundt pan and mine is only 10 cups... but that just means we got an extra tiny cake to taste test tonight!

This is not the tiny cake. This is the big one. To be served tomorrow.

Mostly though, I’m thankful for the two wonderful guys I get to call family. Who went off to do their own thing at the pool this afternoon so that I could have some time to rest. I can’t wait to have another wonderful tiny human to share our love with, but in the meantime I’m thankful for naps.

There’s a lemon-cranberry loaf and a pie pumpkin baking right now. There’s lettuce and kale and radishes flourishing in the garden. Kyle’s heating up some leftover chocolate cake. We had ourselves a mini-Oktoberfest tonight. There’s a rib roast in the fridge for Thanksgiving dinner. It seems sort of silly to say that food is a huge part of our life as a family, but it is. It’s one of the things that Kyle and I really love doing together. We very much have what psychologists would describe as a “boy friendship” more side-by-side than face-to-face. We’re also both introverts with rather engrossing hobbies that have nothing to do with one another. But food is togetherness. Food is side by side and face to face and waltzing around each other in our tiny kitchen. We love to cook and eat. The lovely garden (and weather!) here mean that we’re adding another aspect to our food-love. We’re growing things. And that’s pretty awesome too.

Enjoy this blurry, kind of too blue picture of some kale while I go demolish some chocolate cake with my favourite person.

Love,

I’ve been really enthusiastic about this challenge and have not found myself lacking topics or inspiration to write. (Maybe my topic is too broad? Meh.) I am however, realizing that one of the things I do need to work on is to set my priorities. A slight cold and two active kids (one on the inside and one on the outside) are definitely making my usual game plan of tasks and activities barely manageable. If I can’t stay awake to read stories in the afternoon, maybe I need to write less often? Or less? Or just write and not worry about pretty pictures? Or start going to bed earlier? But really, all I want to do is make (and eat) cookies. THESE cookies ideally. So maybe I should just do that... and then sleep.

Love,

I never could get the hang of Thursdays...* {WIP 08/31}

First time linking up with the lovely ladies at Like Mother Like Daughter for this week’s edition of {pretty, happy, funny, real}. I feel like it ties in really well to what I’m writing about on this challenge. Trying to do things a bit better, working on little bits of my life, attempting to not feel overwhelmed and like things are spinning out of control.

Being pregnant is exhausting. Having a two year old (who is “very much two” as a friend puts it) is exhausting. There’s a whole new stage of toddlerhood and a whole new stage of parenthood going on right now, and a whole new new stage of each, plus a baby coming up right around the corner. And of course, he doesn’t nap anymore. Except when he does.

Today I thought I could get him to nap on my terms... I was wrong. Obviously. But I managed to not get frustrated about it. We had a nice cuddly walk around town. He ate well at lunch and dinner. We read stories. He helped in the kitchen and was just so proud to do it. We get along best when I can find ways for him to be genuinely useful. It’s hard though, he’s just turned 2...

He wants to be so big and helpful. He wants to snuggle and have all the books read to him, or maybe just the one, over and over again. He wants to climb into the car himself. He wants to be carried into the house. It’s confusing. For all of us. But we’re working on it. We’re taking the sweet bits and savouring them.

Because foggy afternoons at the beach as a family are what sweet childhood memories are made of. Even without naps.

Love,

Belligerence&Chocolate

WIP Wednesday - The Cupcake Frog Quilt {WIP 7/31}

This lovely quilt is mostly made out of leftover bits from all those pyjama pants I made long ago, and also some random bits of other things. It’s bright, loud, unapologetic, incoherent, yet somehow it works.  Pink and blue and purple and green. Frogs and cupcakes and coffee and pandas. Cover all your bases.

I figure it’ll be nice to have something that started out pretty scrappy with a toddler who likes mud and a newborn who will presumably like to throw up on things... As one does.

Love,

Nothing quite like reading a deep reflective about the difficulties of being counter-cultural to make you feel like your writing is less than relevant... but hey - Jenny is a great writer, and has been at this longer than I. And she keeps having Popes kiss her babies... Anyway.

So, quilts. Babies need cozy things and pregnancy hormones are a powerful motivator, so this happened.

Dinosaurs! Appliqué! Adorable! Even cuter completed and covered in cute baby.

My first patch quilt revolves around an endearing duck-print seersucker print. I inherited it in the form of a short sleeved-long pants romper, with sadly non-snappy snaps. I just needed to preserve it somehow. So I did. And then it got a bit addictive.

There’s something hugely satisfying about making cozy blankety bits to cover your loved ones. And in using otherwise unusable bits of lovely fabric. Or fabrics with meaning. Leftovers from a project shared with a dear friend. Or clothes that she passed down to you. Or that (now) tattered skirt that you wore (almost) every day in University... All of those are in here. And now it lives with that friend. It’s just the loveliest heart-warmingest thing (besides soup).

Tomorrow, in honour of WIP Wednesday, you get to see the quilt I’m actually working on right now!

Love,