fear is here

Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one who doesn’t want the Blake sibling relationship to go back to season 1 & 2. Sure, it’s easy to see why the season 1 & 2 relationship wasn’t as painfully and obviously fucked up as their season 3 relationship is, but it was still fucked up. The Blake siblings have literally never had a healthy relationship (because just loving someone isn’t enough to make a relationship healthy). Bellamy was forced into a parenting role and had to make Octavia the center of his world and ignore his own wants and needs. Octavia was raised by a literal child, resented her brother, and was often ungrateful of how much he’d given up for her. I’m not saying that these circumstances are their fault (a lot of this is Aurora’s fault & was a reflection of the harsh the society they were in), but I don’t want them to go back to that. There are pieces of their relationship that I’d like them to regain, obviously, but that would come from growing and moving forward, not just reverting back to season 1 & 2 behavior. I don’t want Bellamy to continue to think that Octavia’s needs should always be put before his own. I don’t want Octavia to continue to think that Bellamy’s unwavering and unhealthy level of devotion to her and her needs is something she is entitled to. Sorry, but I don’t. As the Blake sibling relationship progresses I hope for change, not just from season 3, but from season 1 and 2 as well.

*does my skincare routine* why am i still depressed