bela’s corner

I used to believe that my happiness was due to one person. A person that lifted me up but also brought me down.

When they weren’t there I felt nothing.

And when they were I felt everything.

Both the good and the bad.

Before them I felt as if I didn’t know myself. I didn’t feel in touch with my heart neither mind.

And the way that I looked at myself was something that was based purely on the way another person saw me. Their words to me. And their actions towards me.

Self-confidence and self-worth were two things that I thought I had only because of them.

And when they would leave. I would hate myself. Like it was me that had done it wrong. Time and time again.

But then you left for good.

And with time and friends who’s names come after flowers, I learnt that it wasn’t me.

I learnt that I was allowed to love myself without you and to do things that were for me.

I was finally able to bloom on my own.

The hurt you filled my petals with when you left made me stronger. It made my pigment flourish, and the attention that it brought to me. Was far more than you ever showed.

I never thought that I could I be me without you. And I never thought that I could fly without you being the wind that held me up.

But now I’m here. And I am free. And I am in love with myself more than I was when you were next to me.

So thank you for letting me go.

Because now I can finally.

Bloom🌻

better left

I understand what you said. I don’t care what you think. I won’t ignore them. This song has been on the radio. The potholes are filled. I’m not in confrontation. The fourth light is lit. I know what’s inside of me. I know where I am. I don’t wanna die before I’m old. I remember that morning is when night is dead. We know how to put back the fire in our soul. There is a choice. I’m not a goner.