Sick

me: [vibrating slightly because I had too much caffeine] everything in the world is my fault

I love reading how my video of my dogs cured people’s depression. They’re so wholesome.

I’ve watched this 5 times and each time is better than the last

if you step on a person’s foot they open their mouths, just like trash cans.

LMAO WHY AM I STILL LAUGHING AT THIS

There were two professors like this in my department and I was one of like 20 people who was taught by both of them so there was a very small gang of us who knew that Professor Brick Wall and Professor Overshare were married with two kids.

What pokemon is this?

Who wants to see a FAT otter. A real ROUND boy. A HUGE man. A CHUNKY guy.

😭😭😭😭😭

If you’re reading this, it’s too late. The positive vibes are already coming for you, get ready. You have no choice but to have a good day now.

Me: *gets anxiety making a phone call* Also me: *feels completely at ease and downright cheerful wandering around unfamiliar city with only vague knowledge of how to get to where I’m going*

do you ever tire of how, like, dramatic anxiety is?? it’s like. bitch. bitch. it’s not that serious. we’ll live. it’ll probably be a pain in the ass, but we’ll live. so stop making me feel like i’m actively dying.