Iza

Seems that they don‘t have a single happy fanfiction…

It also hangs well together with Snape’s focus on communicating with Harry in Deathly Hallows; in each interaction Harry has with Snape in Deathly Hallows, Snape is desperately trying to connect with him. The Patronus, his attempts to find him in the castle, his dying breaths—even indirectly, in his use of Phineas Nigellus Black.

I also like this theory because it fits well with one of my own: that Snape’s search of Grimmauld Place was in itself a message.

There's no denying that Snape’s last visit to Grimmauld Place was emotional—we see it in his tears over the letter—and even before that, he was likely rattled. His visit forced him to relive his killing of Dumbledore and underscored how irrevocably he was cut off from anyone who had known his true self. Snape is likely grieving and reconciling with his changed mission and the path ahead, as Harry must do during The Forest Again. (One of these days I’ll sit down for long enough to write how the photo of Lily:Snape :: resurrection stone:Harry… unless someone else has already written it in which case drop the link please!)

Given his emotional state, it’s easy to explain the mess he makes while searching. But why did he leave it that way?

Snape does lash out emotionally. But in most cases, given time and/or a reminder of his mission, he is able to master those emotions and pull himself back to the task at hand. So unless he was rushed, or deemed the house of Black to be below the basic effort of setting it to rights (both very real possibilities, for sure) it is somewhat uncharacteristic of him to leave the house in its ransacked state. Which to me begs the question: could it have been an intentional choice?

Perhaps, in the absence of finding something more concrete with which to reach Harry, he uses the search itself to send him a message:

Beware! The security of the house has weakened; stay on your toes and don’t get complacent. A lesson in defense to anyone who might be inclined to return to the house (how very Snape!) After all, Snape doesn't know that Mr. Weasley has said as much to Harry before he even arrives:

"Well, Mad-Eye set up a couple of curses against Snape in case he turns up there again. We hope they'll be strong enough both to keep him out and bind his tongue if he tries to talk about the place, but we can't be sure. It would have been insane to keep using the place as headquarters not what its protection has become so shaky."

But with evidence that there has been an intruder, the trio could reach the same conclusion. And they're right to be careful; within days Death Eaters are surveilling the house.

But there’s also another layer one could read into this: You're being protected. The intruder, while callous and disrespectful of the house and its owner, has not broken the Fidelius Charm.

Hermione and Ron get very close to reaching this exact line of reasoning:

“Death Eaters, for sure,” said Ron, as he, Harry, and Hermione watched from the drawing room windows. “Reckon they know we’re in here?” “I don’t think so,” said Hermione, though she looked frightened, “or they’d have sent Snape in after us, wouldn’t they?” “D’you reckon he’s been in here and had his tongue tied by Moody’s curse?” asked Ron. “Yes,” said Hermione, “otherwise he’d have been able to tell that lot how to get in, wouldn’t he? But they’re probably watching to see whether we turn up. They know that Harry owns the house, after all.”

They don't quite get there because Hermione assumes the only reason the Fidelius has not broken is the tongue-tying curse. Sure, after killing Dumbledore and cursing George, they're not about to give Snape the benefit of the doubt.

But it also seems to be the case that tongue-tying only affects verbal communication; there's no indication that it would stop one from sharing the protected information in other ways. And after all, the location of Grimmauld Place can be shared non-verbally—Dumbledore revealed the location of Grimmauld Place to Harry in writing, and we find out in just a few chapters that the location can be shared via side-along Apparition. So an intelligent wizard bent on sharing the location could very well get around the tongue-tying curse; indeed, the Order aren't discounting this possibility.

Yet Grimmauld Place remains secure until the trio accidentally let a Death Eater in themselves. Perhaps Snape was planting a seed; if the trio were just a little less convinced that the curses on Grimmauld Place were binding Snape, they might consider whether there was another reason Snape wasn't sharing the location with the Death Eaters. A seed, perhaps, that could germinate into doubts about Snape's allegiance and set the stage for future communication…?

Why didn't Snape reveal Grimmauld Place to any Death Eaters via side-along apparition? Why did he search Headquarters when he knew it was abandoned? He must have known it was empty or else he wouldn't have gone there. Snape was connected to the sword of Gryffindor by a goblin and Bellatrix Lestrange, but the trio keep assuming someone else put the real sword in the pool in that forest and don't even consider Snape. It also doesn't occur to any of them that Snape has to work in an office where Dumbledore's portrait is hanging. All the times they talk to Phineas Nigellus' portrait they aren't curious about Snape because they've dismissed him and have no interest in him other than hating him.

What is your favourite?

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(Fic scene, commissioned by Shikix thank you dear🖤♥️)

I can't do it anymore. Ellis, I can't! I'm falling apart! Everything I've done, every sacrifice we've made, and if— if I can't get you home, then none of it matters! Your mom?! Your mom?! It's... fսck, it can't be for nothing! I just— I... I can't fսcking... I cannot.

McGonagall was Hermione's boggart and she obviously represented her fear of failure.

At that time of PoA, Neville hasn't met Bellatrix. He meets her a few years later. He was a baby when it happened to remember what she looked like, just like Harry with Voldemort. And boggart is not someone's "biggest" fear. Boggart definition: a shapeshifter that can take the shape of whatever it thinks will frighten us most.

The boggart is whatever’s on your mind, not your true deepest, darkest fear (unless Ron is a monster for fearing spiders when just last year he nearly lost Ginny, or Harry for having dementors when just a year ago he met the man who is after him face to face). PoA already introduces a creature that actually makes you relive your worst moments, which aredementors. Introducing two creatures that do essentially the same thing is redundant and doesn't make sense.

Neville defeats his Snape boggart on his first attempt because it’s a trivial fear (Snape is listed among the meaningless boggarts the kids defeated with ease). Remember, in OotP Molly couldn't defeat her boggart because there was nothing light about her losing her family. If Snape had been abusive, other students would not have found this funny and Neville would not have smiled, nor would Remus have joked about it. If the fear had been overwhelming, Neville would not have defeated the boggart on his first try. Harry, who is canonically a bit smarter than him, especially in DADA, couldn’t defeat his boggart. He mentions his grandmother too here, by the way. She was a possible boggart for him.

Snape boggart doesn’t necessarily mean Neville fears Snape himself; rather, Snape represents an authority figure and Neville’s fear of not measuring up. Snape never coddles him and openly highlights his mistakes. This is especially clear as Neville talks about his grandmother, another someone whose expectations already weigh heavily on him. His fear in itself would be not measuring up.

Just like Minerva appearing in Hermione's boggart saying she failed (I mean, it could have literally been just a piece of paper on a desk with failed results) doesn't inherently mean she fears Minerva, but the fear of failure as judged by authority.

For Hermione, it manifests as being told she has failed by Minerva, and for Neville, who is naturally timid and lacks confidence, it manifests as Snape, an authority figure who consistently criticizes him. I don't think it's going to be easier to fight it off when you constantly see him; in that case, it would have been harder, especially for someone in nature like Neville (then it's like seeing your worst fear every day), even when someone like Harry, who is much better in DADA than him, nor Molly could fight theirs off, showing if it was that serious, it wouldn't be easy to fight off.

Harry has a LOT more to fear than Dementors literally put in the school to help keep him safe. They are there FOR him. They are bad for him, yes, but they DO keep the serial killer away, so that's... good.

He's met Voldemort - twice - both times almost died. He saw his friend turned to stone, his friends little sister almost die, two teachers turn on him violently, an Acromantula calmly say it will let its children eat them, the dread of going back to the Dursleys every summer (or if he gets expelled)... And is being haunted by a Grim and being hunted by a serial killer.

I'd say that it's not just Dementors themselves that are making Harry scared, it's the fact hearing his parents death again makes him feel funny - he both hates it and wants to hear it more - and thats awful.

But then... once again, it's a Boggart more complicated than just 'appears as his worst fear'. It's not his worst fear. It's whats bothering him most right now - and isn't even that bad. Though it's worse than Neville, as pointed out: Neville can deal with his Boggart while Harry struggles.

Neville attends every Potions class. He attempts his potion. He makes stupid decisions like bringing his Toad. It's awful for him, yes - but it's also manageable. He does it weekly.

Could Ron attend a class taught by a spider? Especially after almost being eaten by them? He could barely handle Barty torturing and killing spiders in fourth year. Could Harry attend a class where a dementor was present?

Boggarts can be crippling if the fear they take form of is crippling. That's the very reason why Remus didn't let Harry deal with it in class, right? Because for him - it could have been Voldemort. Probably why its a good idea to teach how to deal with them when kids are young and their fears are less likely to be too serious. Like... a fear of snakes. Or mummies. Or your mean teacher.

The next two days passed without great incident, unless you counted Neville melting his sixth cauldron in Potions.

-Goblet of Fire, Ch. 14

This is before the first DADA class of the year. Neville has either melted six cauldrons in the first week of school, or in his 3 years and one week at Hogwarts (the latter is more likely). Potions is a high-risk class and Snape tries to instil the importance of working attentively and meticulously in his students from their first year. When Harry throws a firework in Goyle's cauldron in CoS we see what can happen with a simple classroom accident as half the class needs an antidote as their various bits are hit with swelling solution. A simple moment of clumsiness or carelessness can cause serious damage.

The paragraph in PoA where he threatens to poison Neville's toad is laden with details about both Snape's teaching abilities and Neville's carelessness:

A few cauldrons away, Neville was in trouble. Neville regularly went to pieces in Potions lessons; it was his worst subject, and his great fear of Professor Snape made things ten times worse. His potion, which was supposed to be a bright, acid green, had turned - ‘Orange, Longbottom,’ said Snape, ladling some up and allowing it to splash back into the cauldron, so that everyone could see. ‘Orange. Tell me, boy, does anything penetrate that thick skull of yours? Didn’t you hear me say, quite clearly, that only one rat spleen was needed? Didn’t I state plainly that a dash of leech juice would suffice? What do I have to do to make you understand, Longbottom?’

-Prisoner of Azkaban, Ch. 7

We know Snape writes out directions on the board instead of telling his students to consult their textbook. We also know, from HBP, that Snape has a better understanding of Potions than the textbook, so presumably the directions he writes on the board are more detailed than the textbook (which we an also infer from the fact that Harry does better in Potions when working from the Prince's, aka Snape's, notes than the other students who are using the standard textbook). Nevertheless, Neville struggles to follow them. We also know that Neville is careless, which is reflected in the above excerpt, and which is also extremely unsafe in a class like potions.

In the above quote we see that not only did Neville add an incorrect amount of ingredients, but that Snape is an experienced and skilled teacher, who can immediately identify exactly where a student went wrong based on their potion down to which ingredient was added incorrectly and in what amounts. He's tough on students but he's also clearly frustrated with Neville. You can call it bullying, but I don't think that's the correct term to use here - don't get me wrong, I don't think it's OK for a teacher to let their impatience with a student show through like this. It was accepted and normalized at the time the story takes place, which gives some context to teachers like Snape and McGonagall, but it's also understandable why Neville gets so stressed and it's good that this kind of approach is no longer acceptable. The reason I don't think it's bullying is that in moments like these Snape is clearly frustrated and letting the students know, but he isn't having a go at Neville to assert his power or for his own enjoyment which is what bullies do. There are other moments throughout the books where Snape does bully in that way, but this isn't one of them.

Similarly Snape threatens to poison Neville's pet because it raises the stakes and he likely thinks it'll force Neville to pay more attention to his work and learn something. Neville is also the only student we see take his pet to classes - and given that he lost Trevor before he even got off the Hogwarts Express in his first year, he probably shouldn't be taking him around school with him all day. That, and also a schoolbag and classroom desks aren't a suitable environment for a toad to spend its days in.

Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep     Do not stand           By my grave, and weep.      I am not there,           I do not sleep— I am the thousand winds that blow I am the diamond glints in snow I am the sunlight on ripened grain, I am the gentle, autumn rain. As you awake with morning's hush, I am the swift, up-flinging rush Of quiet birds in circling flight, I am the day transcending night.      Do not stand           By my grave, and cry—      I am not there,           I did not die.

i. spinner’s end → silk → silk moth.

ii. a moth isn’t a butterfly. butterflies have that whole display of beauty: lightness, approval, “look how pretty.” moths are something else entirely >> they are night, silence. they’re not about aesthetic admiration, they’re about that vague unease in the middle of the night when this THING just sits somewhere in your room

iii. if you think specifically about a silkworm, it becomes.. // a bit harsher // it’s not just a creature that just exists on its own. it was bred, constructed for a function. its value lies in what it produces, not in what it is. and that almost painfully mirrors how severus’s life unfolds. he doesn’t just become important >> he’s made useful. first by voldemort, then by dumbledore, and at some point he’s not quite a person in the usual sense anymore, but more of an instrument held together by being needed by both sides at once

iv. cocoon is usually read as a nice metaphor for transformation. but here it’s not about ugly caterpillar → pretty butterfly ... but rather about isolation, compression, about being sealed wraped in your mistakes until you come out as something else. not better or beautiful ... just... different, more adapted for survival. [ + being able to fly :) ]

v. the whole “unattractive child transformation” narrative still kind of works here, but not as a glow-up.... silkworm moths don’t become objects of admiration <though they are cute af> they’re pale, almost ghostlike, fragile-looking, and there’s something in them that is just… unsettling. and that’s very similar to how severus is perceived: not striking or charismatic in the usual sense, but once you look closer ... he becomes appealing

vi. it would be the small emperor moth because they’re native to the uk, and they’re more darker grey than ordinary silkworm moths… but… the pun with “small emperor” and “prince” was intended

vii. emperor silk moths have those “eye spots” on the wings. they’re evolutionary adaptation built for deception. they are about distorting perception. about being seen incorrectly so preditor hesitates, draws the wrong conclusion. that’s literally his way of survival. half his life is a conscious agreement to be misunderstood

viii. visually. those pale, dusty wings with their soft span ~~ and his robes, which in motion have that same fluidity, almost ghost/dementor like quality.