Ce;)

Anne Shirley does not want to kiss Gilbert Blythe. She really, really doesn’t. But how else is she supposed to write about a kiss for her romantical short story if she’s never had one before? And Avonlea is just filled with so little options… (ao3 link)

It’s not that Anne wanted to kiss Gilbert Blythe. Really. She could think of a million different things she wanted to do before ever doing that: getting stung by a killer bee, becoming stranded on a deserted island after a shipwreck, finding the sole of her shoe stuck to the tracks of an incoming train. 

But she had to kiss him. For science. For her art.

Nobody asked for this, but you’re getting it :)

Tony: *Talking to Peter* Would you like the spider in your hand?

Peter: yes

Tony: say please

Peter: pleasee

Tony: *puts spider in Peter’s hand*

Peter: *screams*

~~

Steve: PETER! Is that a weed?!

Peter: *sighs* no this is a crayo-

Steve: I’m calling the police!

Steve: *types 911 into the microwave*

Microwave: 911 what’s your emergency?

~~

Peter: dad look it’s the good kush *holds up doggie dental sticks*

Tony: this is the dollar store how good could it be?

~~

Steve: There’s only one thing worse than a rapist… boom.

Bucky: a child.

Steve: no-

~~

Natasha: hey how much did you pay for that taco?

Clint: aye you know this boy got his free tac- *trips on skateboard and drops taco*

~~

Random girl: *blows vape at a party*

Peter: W o W

~~

Peter: Back at it again at Krispy Kreme

Peter: *does a flip. Breaks a sign*

~~

Bucky: *talking to Sam* let’s tell each other secrets, I’ll go first

Bucky: I hate you

~~

Pre-serum Steve: You’re disrespecting- You’re disrespecting a future U.S. army soldier.

~~

Peter: People say I can’t do what I love without going to college

Peter: I don’t need no degree to be a clothing hanger

~~

Strange: *strums guitar* I love you bitch

Tony: *hand over arc reactor* oh my god

Strange: *strums guitar again* I ain’t never gonna stop loving you… bitch.

~~

Peter: May said if I don’t get my grades up she won’t let me get my tetnis shot next year.

Shuri: that’s weird… what’re you gonna do?

Peter: fucking study I guess.

~~

Ned: hurry up we’re gonna be late for school!

Peter: bruh chill idk why you in such a big time rush *big time rush theme song starts playing in the background*

~~

Peter: Sleep? I don’t know about sleep, It’s summer time!

May: You better get in that bed!

Peter: oh she caught me.

~~

Natasha: Hey how much money do you have

Clint: about 69 cents

Natasha: oh you know what that means

Clint: *emotional* I don’t have enough for chicken nuggets

~~

Steve: you know what. You’re grounded.

Peter: Obama wouldn’t treat me like this.

Steve: wh-what?

Peter: mom. Obama care.

Steve: Bitch. Wha-No that’s-

~~

Tony: I am disgusted. I am revolted.

Tony: *starts putting self in washing machine*

Tony: I dedicate my entire life to our lord and savior Jesus Christ and this is the thanks I get?

~~

Natasha: Oh my god, Justin Bieber’s dead

Clint: *shocked* I bought that poster for nothing?

~~

Tony: You know what. That’s it. You’re grounded. Get in top of the fridge.

Peter: *climbing onto the fridge* this house is a FUCKING NIGHTMARE.

~~

Steve: I want a church girl that go to church

Steve: AnD ReAD yoU’Re BibLE

~~

Bucky: I want a Jewish girl that goes to… temple.

Bucky: AnD ReAD yoU’Re TorAH

~~

Peter: *talking to camera* I put a banana peel on the ground and I’m gonna see if it slippery like it is in the cartoons

Peter: *wipes the H E C K out*

~~

Robber: *breaks into house* GET ON THE GROUND

All avengers expect Clint: Oh my god! *gets on ground*

Robber: *signs in ASL to clint* GET ON THE GROUND

Clint: *in ASL* OMG OK

~~

Steve: what would you do if we were the last people on earth?

Bucky: I’d break up with you.

Steve: wha-wh-

Bucky: I’m not trying to impress anyone anymore.

~~

slughorn: sure! wait, you're not mega evil, right?

tom riddle: pfft no

Slytherin : *enters the great hall dramatically with their robe giving that bad ass Darth Vader effect*

Slytherin: *points at Hufflepuff* with the exception of you I dislike everyone in this room.

Someone: You forg-