She walks into the restaurant, tightly grasping her laptop whilst shouldering her purse and toting a second leather bag at her elbow, and the cashier greets her. Thinking there is no line, she starts toward the counter. Half-way there, however, she notices the four of us standing in somewhat of a queue a few feet back from the counter. "Oh! Are you guys in line?" The two girls at the front nod. "I'm sorry!" She makes her way to the back of the queue, sheepishly smiling at its occupants along the way. Having been slightly perturbed at how the line was formed when I arrived, I give her a small smile as she makes her way past me. "No worries, it's a bit of a strange line we've got here." She only smiles in return. I look toward the counter as another cashier calls next in line. Shortly afterward, I hear something behind me, so I turn to her and raise my eyebrows, "Hmm?" "Oh- that must suck, the cashier has a black eye!" She says, gesturing with her elbow towards the cashier who greeted her. "Yeah..." I start, but as I try to continue I am next in line and summoned to place my order. I put in my to-go order and walk over to the waiting area, knowing that will be the end of our conversation since she intends on eating in, and therefore will find a table for her laptop. I, unfortunately, have to make it back to work before my lunch time is up, so I sadly throw the idea of talking more with her aside, gather my lunch, and head back to my car to return to the office. ------- The thing is, even if I had more time... Even if she was getting her food to-go and went to the waiting area with me, I probably wouldn't have tried to continue the conversation. I've come to the realization that I no longer have the ability to hold conversations with people. I do not know how to /start/ conversations with people. I seem to have lost all ability to interact with people outside of a throwaway comment here or there, and it's really starting to affect me. I moved to a new city a few months ago. Not counting the people I work with--the people I'll never see outside of the office--I know a grand total of 2 people in this town: my Housemate and my friend who lives an hour North of me, who I rarely get to see as a result. I've never felt this kind of loneliness before, and it's really strange. Sure I've got my friends back home with whom I communicate via texts and online programs daily, but it's not the same as being able to drive 15 minutes and de-stress with some good company. My housemate and I aren't even really that close; He's the brother of one of my old high school friends who needed someone to take a room in his house, and the timing matched up with my move for my job. We spend our days either at work or in our respective rooms doing our own thing. Occasionally we'll chat for a few minutes about random events going on, but that's few and far between, and often short lived. I just don't know what to do anymore. I've signed up for a few online services, but once I "match up" with someone, nothing happens. Sometimes I'll get the nerve to send a message out, but rarely will I get a reply, and when I do the conversation fizzles out. If anyone reads this I applaud you, but I just wanted to get these thoughts out of my head before I tried to go to bed. If did read this, thank you for your time, you could've scrolled past a good 10-15 text, image and vine videos by now. I appreciate your time :p
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